True (True Believers #1)(40)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“Even thinking that I had been paid to have sex with you?”

“Yes.” I nodded sharply. “Because it didn’t add up. It wasn’t logical. If all you cared about was the money then you would have moved as quickly as possibly, maximizing your profits. You wouldn’t have bothered to talk to me as much as you did, and you wouldn’t have taken things so slow. It didn’t add up.”

He gave an agonized laugh. “Thank God you’re so logical, because you’re totally one hundred percent right. It was never about sex for me, it was always about me wanting to be with you, getting to know you.”

A flicker of optimism cut through my agony. “So then why couldn’t you have sex with me tonight? It sounds like maybe we’re both on the same page.” Why, why, why? I desperately wanted him to convince me that I hadn’t imagined his attention, that he really did care, and I wasn’t an idiot to fall in love.

“Because I’ve been selfish this whole time. I don’t have anything to offer you. You are way too good for me. I’m just a guy trying to make life work and I’m dragging you down into my bullshit. It’s not right and I hate myself for being so f**king selfish that I’m letting you do this, letting myself do this.” He hurled his cigarette off into the snow in anger.

He wasn’t the only one pissed off. “Don’t tell me what’s right for me! You can’t decide that for me!” My finger poked him in the chest. “I want to be with you. I have made the choice to spend all this time with you. You didn’t force me to do it.” My body shook from cold and indignation.

“Rory . . .” His hands raked through his hair and his voice was pleading. “Please . . . just let me do the right thing. For once, just let me do the right thing and stay out of your life.”

My heart instantly melted. My anger evaporated. “Tyler,” I said softly, going up on my frozen tiptoes to cup his cheeks. “When do you ever not do the right thing?”

“What do you mean?” he asked gruffly, head turning slightly into my touch, his eyes tearing into me.

“I mean that you are honestly one of the best guys I have ever met. The question is not whether or not you’re worthy of me, the question is if I am worthy of you.”

“Of course you are,” he murmured, hands reaching to snake around my waist, pulling me closer to him. “The truth is, Rory . . . I’ve fallen in love with you. I love you. And that scares me. I don’t want to do the wrong thing. I don’t want to be your first and have you regret it later on when you’re a doctor and I’m still working at the convenience store.”

“You’re going to be an EMT,” I told him, tears welling again, not from upset this time, but from the overwhelming joy at hearing he loved me. I hadn’t even realized how badly I had been wanting to hear him say the words until he had. “And I may not have a lot of experience with relationships, but the one thing I do seem to comprehend is that when there is mutual love and respect, it’s usually a good thing, so I’m not getting what you’re so worried about. Didn’t you just hear me say you’re the best man I’ve ever met?”

For one long moment he just stared at me, then he leaned down and kissed me, hard. “I never stood a f**king chance, did I? You had me the minute I first saw you and I heard you telling the guy next to you that you were premed and that the Human Centipede movie is physically impossible.”

That alone amazed me. I hadn’t even thought he had noticed me, not really, until the night with Grant. “I knew the night you punched Grant. No one had ever stood up for me like that.”

“I wanted to kill him. Literally kill him.” Tyler squeezed me harder, pulling my body up against his.

“I don’t want to talk about him. I want to hear again that you love me,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “And I want you to come back upstairs with me.”

“Done and done.” He kissed me. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Now let’s go finish what we started.”

That worked for me. But when I went to walk, I winced from the sharp pain in my frozen feet. A glance down showed they were bright red. Tyler noticed, too.

“Holy f**k, Rory! Where are your shoes?”

I shrugged. “I was in a hurry.”

“Oh my God . . . I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Then Tyler reached down and swept me into his arms. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” He kissed me, cradling me in his arms as he walked. “Do you forgive me?”

I snuggled against him, shivering, but thrilled. “Yes, for leaving without explaining, I forgive you. But running outside without shoes was my own fault and you can’t take the blame for that. It was my choice.”

Given how it had turned out, I wasn’t even sorry. Yes, my feet were burning, but Tyler was coming back upstairs. Tyler was carrying me, in what was definitely the romantic highlight of my life so far. And Tyler loved me.

Nothing else mattered.

When we got to my room, after ignoring the stares of the three girls on the elevator, as Tyler set me down onto my still numb feet, he laid me back on the bed and pulled the blanket over me. “Where are your socks?” He went over to my dresser.

“It’s better if the epidermis adjusts to room temperature slowly,” I said. “I’ll be fine in a few minutes.” My feet were already starting to itch and tingle painfully.

“You sure?” But then he shook his head with a grin and stripped off his coat and T-shirt and came back to the bed. “Of course you’re sure, who am I kidding? One of the many things I love about you.”

The springs creaked as he settled next to me, staring intently down at me. “I do, you know. Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I want you to enjoy this,” he said, hand creeping under my sweater. “I’ve never been someone’s first, so I hope I can make it good for you.”

His vulnerability always amazed me and only deepened my feelings for him.

“I know I will,” I told him sincerely.

I did.

Tyler took his time stripping off my clothes, peeling down his jeans, sliding our bodies along each other, kissing me everywhere, erasing all the tension and anxious anticipation I felt, so that by the time he pushed inside me, I was ready, in every way that mattered.

There was a sharp sting, and he paused, holding himself over me on his muscular arms, sweat beading on his forehead. “Are you okay?”