A Shade of Kiev (A Shade of Vampire #8)(6)
Author: Bella Forrest

I’d tortured her to death.

No, there was no way Mona could have known that I was a bomb with a faulty fuse.

Besides, I would be gone from her life soon, and she would never see me again.

“How come you ended up in Aviary?” Her eyes turned on me suspiciously.

“I’d been a prisoner at the hawks’ headquarters in the human realm while Arron was visiting. He brought me back to Aviary along with a dozen other vampires,” I said.

I felt confused as to why exactly, but I didn’t want her to know that I was a coward. I wasn’t proud of stealing a newborn from his helpless mother, knowing that he would be of value to Arron.

I had supposed that the only place I would be safe from my father was in the realm of his fiercest adversaries. So desperate was I to escape his clutches, I hadn’t given any thought to the quality of life I might have there. Any place away from the Elder’s reach would give my soul a gasp of air, no matter how toxic that air might be.

“So you’ve been a victim of Arron too, huh,” she muttered darkly, gazing back out at the ocean.

I didn’t need any imagination to guess the type of things he would have tried to get Mona to do. Because I wasn’t any less wicked a man than Arron.

“Why did he list you as one of the vampires I shouldn’t give a last meal of blood to? What did you do to betray him?”

“It was… over a human girl…” My voice trailed off. Pain settled in my chest just thinking of Sofia. “A human girl I cared for. Perhaps even loved. I let her escape back to the human realm before all the hawks’ portals were finally sealed off.”

Mona’s deep blue eyes reflected the moonlight as she turned to face me, her eyebrows arched. “That was brave of you. Selfless even. I didn’t get the impression that you were capable of such finer emotions after what you tried to do back in the prison.”

“I was desperate. And starving. I barely knew what I was doing.”

What the hell am I doing? Why am I trying to defend myself?

I felt shocked by my reaction. I didn’t know why I was trying to paint a picture of myself as someone decent and virtuous. As someone capable of love.

Why do I care what she thinks of me?

Or perhaps I don’t…

Maybe all this is my subconscious showing through. Maybe, now that I might have a chance to carve out a life of my own away from my father’s shadow, it’s portraying the person I want to be. The person I had hoped the human girl could have made me.

Perhaps I do prefer light over darkness.

I couldn’t deny that my mood swings had reduced since I first escaped my father. Without his presence, I’d found more room for my own thoughts in my head. I’d had a chance to experiment controlling my own willpower.

I wondered then, if I practiced being someone else every day for long enough, whether that could eventually become reality. I might have failed at changing my appearance, but if nobody knew who I was at The Cove, maybe that didn’t matter.

Can an actor ever truly become the part he plays?

Do I want it enough?

“Well,” the witch sighed. “I’m not convinced you’re not just saying all this to warm me up. I’m still dropping you off at The Cove.”

Again, her words made me feel like punishing her for her audacity. I wanted to maim her. Instead I just nodded. I looked out at the endless expanse of water rushing past us, taking in deep breaths.

“How did you train those things?” I asked.

“Things? You mean my dolphins? I was taught by a mermaid.”

“Are there many others like you?”

“A fair number. We tend to move around in groups. Our chances of survival are obviously better that way.” She paused and ran her tongue over her lower lip. “But honestly, I keep to myself most of the time. My group is large enough to allow me to do that. I’m a wanderer in the true sense of the word. I don’t like the commitments that form when you’re around people for an extended period of time.”

Asking her aimless questions was distracting my mind from her blood, so I continued.

“Do you have family?”

“Dead.” She said the word without a hint of emotion. “Do you?”

My parents had died while I was still a human. I’d been a young boy when an epidemic had swept through our town centuries ago, taking them with it. As for my younger brother and sister, after my turning, I’d never seen them again.

“No,” I said.

But the words felt strange as I said them. For so long my Elder had forced me to address him as my father, and his other children as my siblings, that it was ingrained in me that I should still be acknowledging them as family.

Pull yourself together, Kiev. You’re away from him now.

You no longer have to live under his shadow. You have choice.

You can become whoever you want to be.

Chapter 6: Mona

I wondered why I had started talking so freely with this stranger. He didn’t even seem interested.

Perhaps, despite all my attempts to convince myself otherwise, I was just desperate for someone to talk to. Perhaps I felt I could confide in this man, open up to him in ways I couldn’t ever with anyone else, because I knew we would part ways in a few hours and I would never see him again.

Whatever the reason, I found myself answering questions about my life. Though I was always careful to skirt around the parts that were hidden too deep to reveal even to this complete stranger.

My hands became tired from holding the reins after a while. Normally I would stop Kai and Evie, but since Kiev agreed to hold them, we switched places. For a while, I placed my hands over his icy ones, guiding him on how to manage the dolphins. I tried to teach him to use the compass and explained when the dolphins were going too fast and what the optimal speed was. He was a fast learner and after half an hour, I was able to sit back and watch him take control.

Now that I wasn’t navigating, I let my gaze fall on his face. I wasn’t sure I would ever get used to his red eyes. They sent chills down my spine whenever he looked at me. They reminded me of the devil himself and made me hesitant to fall asleep. The moment I drifted off, those blood-red eyes would be watching me.

He had a strong jawline beneath his stubble, and his dark hair and eyebrows were at stark contrast with his pale skin. He was tall—almost a foot taller than me—and his body was strong and muscular, far too strong for comfort. He could easily overpower me should he decide to. My only assurance of safety was that he needed me to get to shore. If he killed me on board, he’d perish in the middle of the ocean. But that didn’t stop him from eyeing me with hunger every now and then, sending shudders running through me.