Breathe (Sea Breeze #1)(23)
Author: Abbi Glines

“I forgot to tell you, there will be a car waiting to take you home out front when you’re ready.”

I sighed and thought about riding home alone in one of his cars and shook my head. “It’s okay, I want to ride my bike home tonight. It’s still early, and I want some fresh air.”

Ms. Mary shook her head. “He ain’t gonna like hearing that. You rest assured Kane will tell him you rode your bike home.”

I smiled and opened the door. “He is my…friend, Ms. Mary, not my keeper,” I replied.

Riding home on my bike while the sun set was really pleasant. I stopped at the public beach and sat for a few minutes while I watched families enjoying the last bit of daylight. Red-skinned tourists covered the beach, and I recognized several kids from school working at the chair, umbrella, and wave runner rentals. Everyone seemed to be closing down for the day. I took in a deep breath and let the wet ocean air fill my lungs. Something about the air here seemed healing to me. As if it made everything okay just by being clean and pure and full of something beautiful.

“Sadie White?”

I heard my name and turned to see a girl I recognized from biology class standing beside me in a red one-piece bathing suit. I couldn’t remember her last name, but I remembered her first. “Yes, Amanda, right?”

She smiled a friendly smile and nodded. “Yep, I haven’t seen you since school let out.”

I nodded. “I’ve been working.”

She grinned. “Don’t you know the great thing about being a local is you can work at the beach?”

I thought the exact same thing at the beginning of summer. I’d wanted to have a job on the beach back then, but now things were much different. “I’m sure it is, but I make good money doing domestic work.”

She frowned. “But where is the fun in that…unless there are cute boys around? You should come take the lifeguard test. Lifeguarding is so much fun. Hot guys are everywhere…a lot of times you get to work with one!”

She nodded her head toward a tall, blond, tanned guy coming down the lifeguard ladder in a pair of red swim trunks. “Like Todd Mitchell! He will be a senior this year and is going to Tuscaloosa next fall to the university! He is soooo cute! Can you swim?”

I nodded, trying to keep up with her quick paced conversation. “Yes, but I am happy with where I am right now. However, if I get too bored, I will remember the lifeguard job.”

She frowned prettily, and in a way that reminded me of Barbie’s little sister.

“Okay, I guess. Hey, you should come to the July 4th party at Dylan McCovey’s. He has a house on the beach, and he throws a party every July 4th. It is sooo awesome! You should come!”

For some reason, this bubbly girl liked me. Me, with no personality. And I didn’t want to let her down again. “Okay, well, sure. Um, I’ll let you know. I have to check on my work schedule and everything.” I thought about Jax and wondered if he would want to spend July 4th with me.

Amanda nodded and reached into her bright-pink, polka-dotted bag and pulled out a cell phone. “What’s your number?”

I thought about it a minute. I wasn’t sure what to tell her. Jessica owned a cell phone, but the bill wasn’t always paid on it. I figured I could give her the cell number and hope Jessica would tell me when she called, if it worked this week.

“555-9987.”

She punched it into her slim, pink cell phone and slipped it back into her bag.

“Cool, I’ll call you later this week and see if you can make it.”

I nodded, and we said our goodbyes. She turned and bounced away. She seemed so happy and friendly. Everything I wished I could be. However, I didn’t necessarily want to bounce when I walked. I went back to my bike and headed home. I would be home in time to make dinner for Jessica.

The moment I walked in the door Mom called from her room, “Sadie? Is that you?”

“Yes,” I replied, as I walked back to see her so we wouldn’t have to yell at each other. I stopped when I got to her bedroom door and found her standing in her panties and bra in front of the window unit with a large cup of ice in her hand.

“The heat is killing me, Sadie! I swear, I can’t wait until I have my body back.”

I sighed and bit my tongue from reminding her this was her fault. “I bet,” was all I allowed myself to say.

“So, you’re home early today. You didn’t get fired, did you?” she asked all serious, as the idea of me without a job began to take root in her thoughts.

I shook my head and leaned against the doorframe. “No, the family is out tonight, so I got to come home early.”

She still didn’t know about Jax. I didn’t want her to find out and get it in her head I could somehow get money out of Jax. Mooching off men was her gig, not mine. I didn’t want any man to take care of me. I wanted to be self-sufficient. I never wanted my teenage daughter to have to pay the bills and cook the meals.

“Hmmm, well that works out good for me and the baby. We are starving, and the thought of working in a hot kitchen is just too much.”

I nodded and turned. The kitchen contained all I needed to make tacos, and Jessica loved tacos. I got the meat out of the freezer and put it in some warm water to thaw.

“I’ve got to go to the clinic tomorrow to have a check up. Are you working?”

I wanted to laugh at her question. I’d worked every day since school had been out, except of course for Sundays. Not that I was complaining, because if I didn’t work, I didn’t make money…and I didn’t see Jax.

“Yes,” I called back.

“Oh poo! I hate driving.”

I didn’t respond. Instead, I searched through the cabinet for the taco seasoning.

“You know, I’ll be thirty-one weeks this Monday, and, in two months time, I’ll have this baby. I haven’t even picked out a name yet.”

A nervous knot grew in my stomach at the thought of a real baby being brought home. The baby hadn’t seemed real as long as it remained unnamed, but naming it somehow made it real, and made me very nervous.

“I was thinking I liked the name Sasha if it is a girl. You know stick with the S names. Sadie, Sasha.”

I said nothing.

“Or if it is a boy, how about Sam?”

I tried to ignore her. I really did not want to give this baby a name. It made my insides do funny things. The thought of baby food, formula, diapers, and, well, a baby, scared me. I could see Jessica coming home and saying she couldn’t take it and handing the baby to me. I had no idea what to do with a baby. I really needed her to be the mom. I needed her to be a grown up with this baby. Because I wasn’t ready.