Cloud Walking (Find You in the Dark #1.5)(12)
Author: A. Meredith Walters

My buzz was starting to wane and that just wouldn’t do. “Let’s go find that keg,” I said, trying to inject some perk back into my voice. I couldn’t do serious anymore. I needed to drink and party and forget about my own heartache.

Clay’s face relaxed and he seemed just as relieved as I was at dropping our conversation. He followed me into Melissa’s house. He seemed uncomfortable and stayed close to my side. We finally located the keg in the garage. I quickly found a cup filled with frothy, beer goodness. Clay looked at the keg as though he expected it to open its jaws and swallow him.

“Do you want anything?” I asked, wondering what his deal was.

“Uh…” Clay looked strange. What was his problem? Before I could give it much more thought we were surrounded by a group of football jocks and the ubiquitous cheerleader or two.

Louis Feldman, the quarterback on the football team clasped Clay’s shoulder. I noticed the immediate tension and I had to say I was intrigued by the exchange going on in front of me. Clay was such an enigma; I understood why Maggie was so entranced by him. He had all the makings of the popular boy. Hot as hell, aloof, the sensitive loner type. But he seemed to shun all of that. If my heart wasn’t so wrapped up in dumb Daniel Lowe (and if I was a backstabbing bitch) my best friend may have had a fight on her hands when it came to Clayton Reed’s attention.

“Dude, you’re the new kid, right?” Louis asked. Clay pulled away from him.

“Yeah,” he bit out, looking at the much larger guy with apprehension. I remembered the way he had been targeted by Paul Dewlader his first week of school and I understood his hesitation.

But Louis was a decent guy, if lacking a few necessary brain cells for basic functioning. Louis jerked his head in the direction of the keg. “Wanna do a keg stand? It would be seriously cool.” Clay looked like the guy had asked him to streak naked through the party.

He needed to lighten up. No one could be that uptight and not be miserable. I nodded in agreement. “Go for it, Clay. I really have to see this.” I urged, pushing him in the back as Louis slung an arm around his shoulders in a guy half hug thing that always seemed strange to me.

“I don’t think so,” Clay said firmly, trying to pull away. I gave him another playful shove.

“Don’t be such a snooze. This is a party! You only live once. What will it hurt?” Okay, I was like some bad afterschool special. When had I become the captain of the peer pressure team? But I really thought Clay needed something to chill him out. His angst was giving me a headache.

Clay wavered a bit and Louis grinned. “Yeah man! Come on!” And Clay allowed himself to be pulled toward the keg.

I stood on the sidelines as Louis and another football player lifted Clay off his feet. I cheered him on as Clay guzzled beer from the tap. See? I was bonding with the guy. I was such a good friend, trying to be all buddy-buddy with the boy my best friend was into.

Or maybe not.

The next few minutes were a bit of a whirlwind. One minute I was chanting Clay’s name, the next Daniel was pulling me toward the garage door. I tried to wrestle against Daniel’s grip and I could see Maggie intercepting Clay over his shoulder.

What was going on?

“Let go of me!” I yelled, once we were outside. Daniel dropped my arm like it burned him and glared at me. I pulled myself upright and leveled my own glare right back. Two could play this game, butt hole.

“What was that back there? Encouraging people to get alcohol poisoning isn’t normally your thing.” Daniel’s words were hard and brittle and I lifted my chin.

“I was just getting the poor guy to have some fun. You should thank me for helping to pull the stick out of his ass,” I griped, turning my back on Danny and swiftly walked away. I made my way around the side of the house and found a swing set.

I was feeling obnoxiously sober and I didn’t want to be. And I sure as hell didn’t feel like spending said sobriety with Daniel Lowe when he was being condescending and preachy.

Of course, he followed me. Because alone time was asking too much. “Danny. Please. Just give it a rest,” I pleaded, not above begging him to back off. My head was starting to hurt and my happy fun time was clearly over.

Now that Daniel and I were alone, I was starting to feel the mortification for my earlier behavior. I had been a little too obvious in my dislike for Kylie. Raging bitch isn’t usually my color and I couldn’t believe how easily I had worn it. My jealousy issues were getting a little out of hand and I knew if I didn’t get it together, I would be in danger of losing one of my longest and most important friendships.

As much as I craved something more with Danny, the thought of losing him all together because of my snippy and bitchy attitude was heart crushing.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t speak my mind. Because playing doormat Rachel was getting a little tiresome. “Look, I was trying to have a good time. Clay was trying to have a good time. What’s the big deal?” I asked shortly, looking over at Daniel.

Daniel sighed. “Well, apparently he’s a recovering alcoholic or drug addict or something. Maggie said he has a snarly history with that stuff.” Well crap, that made me feel like a complete and total jerk. Not that I knew about it, but still. Why didn’t I just put a darn crack pipe in his mouth?

“Well…jeesh,” I mumbled, sitting down heavily on the swing and began to pump my legs back and forth. Daniel dropped his head and sat down on the other swing, rocking himself a bit as I moved the swing at full force.

We didn’t say anything for awhile and I finally slowed down until I was gently swaying beside him. “When did things get so screwed up?” I asked quietly, the sounds of the party seemed a million miles away. It was just Daniel and me and the multitude of unspoken things between us.

Daniel let out a noisy breath. “Good question, Rach,” was all he said and we drifted into silence again. After a few more moments, he turned to look at me. “I’m an ass**le. I know that. I haven’t always treated you the way you should be treated. And I’m sorry for that. But I really love you, Rachel. You and Mags are my best friends. If I’ve ever made you feel less than crucial to my life, I apologize. Because you are important to me. Actually important doesn’t even cover it. You are fundamental to who I am. There is no Daniel Lowe without Rachel Bradfield.”

I felt tears burn the back of my throat and I had to blink them away before they rolled traitorously down my face.

That was the thing about Danny. I could hate him so completely. Wish him a thousand painful deaths. But then he pulled out the big guns. Using that amazing sensitivity that was always there just below the surface to remind me of why I loved him so much in the first place. And while I truly wished his words were said in a “non-friend” way, I couldn’t deny how wonderful they were all the same.