Falling Away (Fall Away #3)(49)
Author: Penelope Douglas

Just have fun at the carnival, Juliet.

We pulled into the fairgrounds and parked on the grassy field, right next to Madoc’s car.

As soon as I stepped out of the car, I smiled.

County fairs were held at the town’s established fairgrounds, not far from the Loop, and today was probably the best day to come. Being that it was midafternoon, the temperature had to be pushing a hundred degrees already, and I was already sticky. While some hated that, I loved it.

The fuzzy lights in the distance cast a spectacular glow of reds, greens, yellows, and blues, and the sounds of carnival life filled the thick, hot air, making me want to smile.

Eighties music crackled over cheap speakers, riders screamed as their roller coasters whipped them through the air, and intercoms blared names of the latest winners of the ring toss and duck pond, while the sharp pop of the balloon-and-dart game cut through my ears.

I inhaled the hot scent of funnel cake, mixed with sickly sweet cotton candy, and clutched the hem of my shorts at my sides as we traipsed through the high grass to the entrance. With the sun beating down on my shoulders, and the sweat already dripping down my back, I licked my lips, tasting the dirt in the air.

Cheap carnivals grossed a lot of people out. They were grungy and dilapidated, and they attracted deviants.

At least, that was what my mother had told me.

The only reason she ever came was to work a stand, signing up people for the Garden Club, the Rotary Club, or whatever election candidate she was supporting that year.

I never wanted to be a part of that, though. I never wanted to be stuck inside the old banquet hall at the fairgounds with the air-conditioning. There was just something completely raw about the atmosphere outside. About the sweat, the heat, and the dirt.

I couldn’t explain it, and I was always ashamed of it, but I felt primal here. I loved the carnival. For all the reasons my mother hated it.

Walking in, we purchased bracelets that would allow us to ride as much as we wanted until closing, and then we went for food.

“Hot dog,” Fallon ordered, digging in her purse.

Madoc came up behind her, sucking on her neck. “Save your appetite. I’ve got a foot-long for later.”

“Ugh.” She shoved him away but still smiled.

I grinned, Madoc laughed, and Adam and Shane were helping each other with their wristbands.

I turned to the girl working the concession stand. “I’d like a cherry Popsicle, please.” And I raised my eyebrows to Shane. “You?”

“Hot dog, too!” She barely glanced up as she fastened the band at Adam’s wrist.

“Adam? You want anything?” Madoc asked.

“Nah, I’m good.”

We paid and ate and chatted about everything that had been going on. Shane’s brilliant notion to change her major again for a college career she hadn’t even started yet. Fallon trying to decide which piercing she’d get, and Madoc trying to stick his hand between her legs to indicate where he wanted her to get pierced. Adam talking about the latest research on vegan diets.

And me trying not to think about how fast I’d fallen in the last twenty-four hours.

I’d threatened my mom, let Jaxon Trent stick his fingers and tongue inside me, and now I wasn’t sure where I was going to end up for college in the fall, since Sandra Carter would no doubt disallow access to my college fund.

And I laughed.

The smile spread my lips wide, and my skin hummed just under the surface as everyone chatted away, and I kept laughing.

My head bowed, and my stomach tingled.

“Um … ,” Shane started. “You okay?”

I looked at her, my eyes blurry with happiness. Yep. Not okay. Kind of okay. Feel okay. But not okay. Isn’t it wonderful? I just smiled at their wide-eyed expressions.

“K.C.?”

And then my smile faded.

I halted, seeing my mother standing a few feet away, carrying a tray of pies.

She wore a wispy, lavender summer dress and high heels, looking absolutely pristine with her hair curled and tied back in a low ponytail. Suddenly I was very aware of every inch of my sweaty skin.

I saw her eyes sweep up and down the length of me, taking in my appearance, and then her eyes narrowed like bullets. She didn’t say anything before she turned and walked away, back into the banquet hall.

I stood there, looking after her, trying to figure out what was going through her head. Did she really hate me so much?

Madoc and Adam had walked ahead, but I turned to Fallon and Shane at my side. “I don’t look inappropriate, do I?” I asked.

The corner of Fallon’s mouth turned up. “How do you feel?”

I looked down, amusement tickling my face. I wasn’t wearing anything special, but it was skimpy, slightly see-through with the slits on my back, and suggestive. The three terrible S’s.

“Loud,” I confessed. “I feel loud. Like everyone can hear me.”

“But comfortable?” she pressed.

I nodded. Yeah.

“Then that’s good enough,” she shot back. “You make your own rules, Juliet. Girls dress for others. Women dress for themselves.”

And those were the truest words I’d heard in a long time.

I liked being aware of my body.

“So, what’s it going to be?” Shane ran her fingers through her hair, flopping it to one side. “The Gravitron, the Tilt-A-Whirl, or the Kamikaze?”

I looked around and spotted a haunted fun house. My guilty pleasure.

“That.” I pointed to the small warehouse with a huge blowup dragon seated at the front entrance with its mouth open. It was a staple every year that I’d been here. You walk into the dragon’s breath and into the warehouse/converted fun house for the regular kind of carnival fare.

I led the way, Shane and Fallon giggling behind me as Adam and Madoc stayed behind with the water gun game.

We left the bright smells and sounds of the carnival, and I gasped at gusts of wind hitting my body as we stepped through the dragon’s mouth. Fans blew from several directions, cooling the light layer of sweat on my legs, stomach, and arms, and the fog machine rolled soft clouds around my feet.

Looking around, I inhaled the darkness, taking in the hot smell of dirt and depth. Kind of like being in a basement.

Juice from the Popsicle dripped on my hand, and I blinked, looking down and licking the sweet red stickiness from my hand.

The ceiling gave way, rising, and we entered the fun house.

Veering through the maze of clear plastic panels, I bumped into walls I didn’t see and laughed through turns I had to blindly hold my hand out to make sure were there. Sucking on my Popsicle, I wobbled across the bridge, through the spinning barrel, and across the plank with the neon carnival masks zooming past. My equilibrium was lost, and I bit my lip to stifle my laughter. I liked not knowing which direction to turn or which way was up.