Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies #1)(33)
Author: Molly McAdams

“I get that, Mase! I f**king get that! I’m sorry you don’t agree or approve of my situation, but it’s not like I sat there and decided to hurt her by moving our relationship to this next step by asking her. I literally couldn’t think about anything but asking her to marry me. I should have waited, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Okay?”

“No. It’s not. You need to tell her.”

I ran a hand over my face and kept it over my mouth as I shook my head. I wanted to. I just wanted to keep her safe more.

Rachel

WALKING INTO THE gym, I stopped short and took a step back when I saw Candice and Blake talking right around the corner. It never got easier seeing him. I’d seen him almost every day for the last two weeks, and though he hadn’t once spoken to me, there were always the notes . . .

A shiver climbed its way up my spine and I clutched at my bag to help with the shaking that always came when I saw or thought about Blake. When I began receiving awkward looks for just standing there, I acted like I was checking my phone as I focused on what Candice and Blake were saying. My mouth popped open when Candice confirmed with Blake that he was going to come back with us for Thanksgiving.

“Yeah, there’s no reason to waste money on a plane ticket if you’re driving. So I’ll just go with you and Rachel.”

“Okay, I’ll let my mom know you’re coming with. I told her I didn’t know if we were coming back or not, but Rachel and I really want to see them.”

Uh, Candice might be going. But if Blake is going to be there, and traveling with us, then I sure as hell won’t. I can wait until Christmas to see them.

“Let’s just hope Rachel is done with this game she’s playing by then.”

My body stiffened and I heard Candice sigh.

“I know, this whole thing she’s doing is . . .” Her voice trailed off as they walked away and I forgot that I was supposed to be appearing inconspicuous.

Phone temporarily forgotten, my eyes were wide as I leaned around the corner and watched as they made their way toward the back of the gym. What game? I wasn’t playing anything!

“Rachel.”

“What?” I practically shrieked, and whirled around, only to see Marcus, a guy from my class, standing there looking like he thought I was going to explode . . . again. “Jesus, Marcus, I’m sorry. You scared the crap out of me.”

“Uh, yeah. I figured that. Are you going to go all the way in, or are you just going to keep standing here on the side?”

“No, I’m . . . I’m going. I just—yeah, I’m going.”

He tried to hide his smile as he gestured for me to go ahead of him. I didn’t want to be here, but seeing as I had to be here to pass this class, I didn’t really have an option right now. I heard the tail end of Candice and Blake making plans to grab dinner that night and had to force out an awkward conversation with Marcus so I wouldn’t start screaming at Candice right there. I knew that Blake was her family, but I’d never felt as betrayed by her as I had these last three months.

I didn’t look at either of them as I passed by them, I just walked with Marcus until we hit the very back of the gym and then said my good-byes to him, silently thanking him for being a distraction from them.

“Hey, Rach.”

I ground my teeth and forced a closed-lip smile as I turned to look at Candice.

“Just letting you know I won’t need a ride home today, but I’ll be home tonight.”

“Oh? You don’t have practice today . . . do you?”

“No, but some of the girls are going out for an early dinner.”

Liar. “ ’Kay. Have fun.”

“Hey.” She touched my arm and I turned to look at her again. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great.”

She actually looked concerned, and I think that pissed me off more. Because I knew she loved me, and I loved her. She would always be like my sister. But Blake was ruining us. “You sure? Are you and Kash fighting?”

“Ha, uh, no. Not any more than we usually do anyway, not anything that’s serious. I’m really fine, Candi.” I met her stare and hoped she understood my next words for what they were. “I hope you have fun at dinner tonight.”

Her eyes widened and she bit on her cheek as she nodded with exaggerated slowness and pursed her lips.

Yeah, I’m calling you out on your lies, Candice. Keep them coming; all you’re doing is showing me how much I don’t matter to you.

“Are you staying at our apartment tonight? Or will you be with Kash, or . . .”

“Or . . . ?”

“Will you be somewhere else?” she asked, challenging me.

“Where else would I be?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”

“I’d be happy to if I had any idea what you were even getting at.”

“Whatever, Rach. I give up,” she huffed, and stormed off in the other direction.

How the hell had that gone from me catching her in a lie to her being pissed at me?

15

Kash

RACHEL GIGGLED AS I made my way down her neck. “I’m gonna be late to class if you keep that up.”

“Don’t care.” I nuzzled her throat and bit softly at the smooth skin. “Give me a little bit, I’ll be ready for round two.”

“You’re going to be late for inventory at the restaurant. And I don’t think I can go again, babe.”

“Wimp.”

“Ha! Uh, well, seeing as I woke up to one, and then you forced another one out of me right after . . . then as soon as we were done with breakfast you brought me back in here and I just had another two orgasms? No, I’m not a wimp, I’m just worn out, mister.”

I smiled wolfishly up at her and kissed her lips softly, loving how swollen they were from kissing. “Good. When we’re married, I’m gonna make you stay home so I can have my way with you whenever I want.”

She laughed loudly. “Really now? You’re going to make me stay home?”

I grunted some form of affirmation and said teasingly, “Gonna turn you into a fifties wife. Make you wear dresses, stay home, clean and cook for me. All day, nothing but pancakes.”

“You’re ridiculous. And I refuse.”

“To marry me?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“To be your fifties wife. But I can’t wait to marry you.” Her eyes unfocused as she continued to run her hands through my hair.

“Rach? Hey.” When her blue eyes came back to me I rolled to the side and pulled her with me. “Where’d you just go?”

“Can we elope, Kash?”

That was definitely not what I was expecting when she’d just spaced out on me. “Why? Don’t you want the big wedding and the dress? Don’t you want the Jenkinses and your friends there?”

“No, I just want to marry you. Please? We can get married this weekend. Candice still won’t talk to me about it. I just feel like no one really wants us together except for us, and there’s no point in waiting.”

“That’s not true. My parents want us together.”

She blinked her blue eyes quickly. “Wait . . . What? They do? You and Mason never talk about your families . . . like, ever. Mason told me I reminded him of his little sister and that is literally the only thing I’ve heard about either of your families since the weekend you moved here. And I know Mase loves me . . . but whenever we talk about getting married around him, he always looks mad. Have you noticed that?”

Yes. “He’s not mad, I promise. And my parents do want us together, and they want to meet you. So we can’t get married until that happens, sweetheart.” My parents had no idea I was engaged. They just knew that I was seeing someone, because I’d accidentally let Rachel’s name slip once in one of our very few conversations. I hated hiding her from them, but just as I had to hide them from her, she had to stay hidden from them until this James Camden case was over. And even though I would do anything to marry the girl in my arms as soon as possible, there was no way I could do that to her until she knew that I wasn’t really Logan Hendricks. She needed to find out about Logan Ryan and his real life before I ever made her vow to spend forever with me.

“When—”

“Rachel,” Candice said as she burst into the room, “can I use— Oh! Oh my God, that’s Kash’s ass. Um . . . I’m leaving . . . oh, wow.” She shut the door quickly behind her and yelled from the other side. “And get ready, we’re going to be late!”

Thank God for Candice’s perfect timing.

Rachel turned a bright shade of red before bursting out laughing and crawling off the bed. “Come on, you need to go so we can both get ready.”

I pulled on my clothes and kissed her thoroughly, hoping she knew how much I loved her and how keeping myself a secret was worse than any deception I’d ever been a part of, and that it was eating me alive. “I love you, Rach.”

“Mmm, I love you too, Logan.”

Rachel

ALL I WANTED was a long, hot bath. The two classes I had that day had been easy and flown by. That wasn’t what was bothering me. It was the creepy glares that Blake had shot my way every time I saw him during the first class, and the note tucked into my windshield wiper again. There were never any on the days that Candice and I drove home together. But if she had cheer practice, it never failed. Every one of those days these first three weeks of school there had been a note. Three words. Never signed. Always typed. And always crumpled up and left in the parking lot after I got it.

you. are. mine.

I cringed thinking about them and wished there was something I could do. But honestly, what could I say? That I knew they were from Blake? I couldn’t prove it, and I knew Kash would most likely believe me, but he’d go crazy and I didn’t need that right now.

As soon as I opened the door to my apartment, I knew something was off. It was the what that I wasn’t sure of yet. I took a hesitant step inside the apartment but left the door open in case I needed to scream for one of the guys. Another step and my chest started burning from the breath I was holding. I let it out quietly and did a double take at the door to my room just as the noise from the kitchen filtered into my brain.

What the hell?

My body rocked back and forth as I debated which way to go first. “Kash? Mase?” Other than the sound of the dishwasher going, silence greeted me. “Guys, this isn’t funny . . .” I took quick and quiet steps to my open bedroom door and looked down.

Sitting in the middle of the door frame, all lined up next to each other, were my journal, a black lacy bra with purple ribbon going through it, a pair of dark purple lacy underwear laid out like it was on display at a store, and my laptop. I’d just bought the lingerie a few days ago and the tags were still on it; I hadn’t even told Kash about it yet. The laptop was opened and had iTunes up. Nothing was playing, but “I’ll Be” was highlighted.

This is so not funny. Only Kash knew where I kept my journal, and he knew it wasn’t just private. It was incredibly personal and the only thing I had here that connected me to my parents. To take it out and leave it here with these things was disturbing, and if Kash had read it . . . a breath caught in my throat. That was an invasion of privacy to the extreme. Tears pricked the back of my eyes and my throat began burning as I tried to hold off on the tears. Grabbing at everything, I hastily returned it all to where it belonged and took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. This is going too far. Why would he do this to me?