Kindled (Page 58)

“But you don’t?”

He shrugged. “I never had a reason to, before.”

Cassie remained silent, studying his hard profile, wishing that she could soothe the pain and tension she felt radiating from him. Before what? she wondered, but she decided against pursuing that line of questioning. She wasn’t sure that she would like the answer. Or, if she was truly honest with herself, she was frightened that she may like the answer too much. “What happened with Victoria?” she asked softly, wishing to change the topic.

He shrugged negligently. “I fell in love, she changed me, and I became a monster. I think she did so mainly so she could have a puppet to play with, a puppet to use as she wished. She never loved me, and though she enjoyed playing with me, and toying with my emotions, she quickly became bored with me. I woke up one day and she was gone.”

Cassie’s heart ached for him, ached for the pain and misery and loss she sensed beneath his cavalier tone. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged again. “It’s all good; I got over that bitch years ago. Truth be told, I didn’t think our kind was capable of love, until you and Devon. When I touched him and felt the vast amount of love he had for you, it fascinated me.”

Cassie glanced guiltily away. Devon did love her, whole heartedly. He was probably going through hell right now trying to find her, probably nearly crazed with his desperation to find her. And she was sitting here, experiencing odd feelings for one of Devon’s greatest enemies. One of her greatest enemies.

Except he wasn’t her enemy anymore, and at one time he had been Devon’s best friend. In here, Julian had become her only sense of comfort, the only thing keeping her alive. In a strange way he had become one of her closest friends. They shared a common bond that no one else would understand, know about, or experience. And she would never want them to know about it, or experience it. They were linked together by this awful experience, and they were the only reason that the other was still alive. For although she had come closer to losing her mind then he had, she knew that he was just barely clinging to his sanity and composure also.

“I wanted to destroy that love.”

She looked sharply back at him, her eyes narrowed angrily. “Why?” she demanded.

He shrugged. “Why should Devon get the happy ending that I had been denied?”

Cassie’s mouth parted in surprise, her heart ached for the deeper well of pain she felt inside of him. “And how do you feel now?”

Amusement curved his hard mouth but it did not reach his eyes. He looked so much softer and younger and more approachable when he smiled like that. “Now I don’t.”

She was silent as she studied him. “Why not?”

He shrugged absently as he dropped his head to the glass. “Because it would hurt you if I destroyed him.”

The breath froze in her lungs, her heart pumped loudly in her chest. Confusion swirled through her as she tried to puzzle out his words, and how she felt about them. “Julian…”

Her words faded away as he turned back to her, his eyes forceful and lost. “I know how you feel about him princess. I’ve touched you, and I know the depth of your love for him, the purity of it. I expect nothing from you, and I won’t hurt you. Ever.”

Tears filled her eyes and slipped silently down her cheeks. Though she was confused by her strange new feelings for him, she knew that he was not confused. It was apparent that he cared for her deeply, that he may in fact be in love with her. She ached for him, ached for the feelings he had; feelings she could not return. Not in the way that he wanted her to at least. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be. This is not a bad thing. In fact I think it’s a good thing. You’ve made me different and I thank you for it. Please don’t cry princess.”

Cassie wiped the tears from her eyes, biting on her bottom lip to try and stifle the tears. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him again, couldn’t stop the swirling confusion rolling through her. He was right though, what she felt for Devon was true and right and so unbelievably good and real. She just didn’t want Julian to be hurt because of it. “What ever happened to Victoria?” she asked softly.

“She was killed during what you call The Slaughter.” Cassie looked at him in surprise. “What, you thought it was only your kind that was killed?”

“Yes,” Cassie admitted.

He shook his head. “Nope, your kind did put up a fight against us; they took a few of us with them. One of which was Victoria.”

Cassie pondered that for a moment. She had never thought about it, hadn’t even realized that it had happened. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she said softly.

“Don’t be, I hadn’t seen her in over a hundred years by that point.”

Cassie nodded, stifling a yawn as whatever they were pumping into her room started to take hold. “We need to get out of here.”

“Yes, we do.”

Instinctively, she rested her hand against the glass, sighing in relief as he pressed his large palm against hers. For a moment she had feared that he would shut her out, that her inability to return his feelings would turn him against her. “We will get out,” she said softly.

“Not counting on Devon to rescue you anymore?”

Cassie was silent as she pondered his question. She had no doubt that Devon was tearing the earth apart in search of her, but it was unreasonable of her to expect him to find her. She had been here for so long, if he was able to find her, he would have by now. “He won’t stop until he finds me, but it may not be in time. We need to find a way to get ourselves out.”

“My thoughts exactly princess.”

She rolled her eyes, shooting him a cross look. “Stop calling me princess,” she grumbled. He grinned back at her, pressing his palm tighter to the window. “Didn’t you believe in Annabelle and Liam’s love?”

He frowned for a moment before shaking his head. “I didn’t know much about Annabelle and Liam. Devon kept me away from her, she was his own private project, and I let him have her because I thought it would be fun to watch the show. Thought it would be fun for him. I never thought that what happened between them would happen. I never thought that Devon could change. At the time I would have interfered if I had known what was coming.”

“But not now?”

He sighed heavily, his amazing eyes darkened to an almost sea shade of blue. “No. No matter how much I resent Devon for turning against his own kind, his very nature, and me, I am glad that he brought you into our lives.”