Love’s Suicide(32)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I thought about living so close to Richmond and Williamsburg and being able to go to the water and amusement parks whenever I wanted.

Everything about my life was different. Instead of seeing it as a negative, I appreciated that I’d be able to raise my child in a safe environment. We didn’t have crime. The schools weren’t overcrowded. She would be able to play outside with her friends and not get into trouble. It was nothing like we’re I’d grown up, even if it was a nice community.

We pulled up onto Main Street, and when I saw the crowds of people, I was shocked. I had no idea that there were even that many people in the nearby towns. Crowds of people stood on the sectioned off part of the street, the children waving flags and listening to music as it played.

It was like one would see in the movies and I started to get emotional knowing that life like that still existed. I thought about my mother and how she would have loved to be a part of something so wonderful.

Bobby came around and helped me get out of the car. He brushed a piece of hair back out of my face and smiled, showing his dimples. “You really do look beautiful today, Katy.”

I took his hand and let him lead me to a safe spot to sit my chair. We recognized a few women from church and they waved back to us. “Are you thirsty? I brought a cooler with water in it for you.”

I had to give it to him for trying. The man never stopped. We’d been seeing each other for months and I’d given him nothing except a few kisses. He never asked for more, or pushed me for what I wasn’t ready to give. His friendship was dear to me and I liked the way that when we were together, I always felt protected.

“I’ll take a water, thank you.”

He left and came back with a bottle of water and bag of popcorn. I spotted Sarah and the kids running across the parking lot. Maddy was dressed like her mother, while Seth was wearing a pair of shorts and a red shirt. He had a mini flag in his hand and was waving it all around.

I could hear the band playing, and it was starting to get louder. A procession of horses came first, moving their hooves in unison. The sound of their metal shoes clanked against the concrete and I watched them walking in single file, each uniquely decorated for the occasion.

The next group was the women’s auxiliary, then the Knights of Columbus. They were then followed by the High School Marching Band, the electric company float and three decorated fire trucks. I waved as the crowned princesses and queens of different events were escorted and sitting in the convertible cars, and clapped when a group of clowns came tumbling down the road.

Then I saw fatigues and knew what was coming next. The military float was decorated with war veterans and then the band followed them. To finish the parade they had over a hundred decorated soldiers marching together.

I knew he wasn’t there, but I checked every single face in the crowd for him, hoping for one more look at his beautiful face.

The awe of the parade was still showing in the crowd and lots of fun things were going on all around us. According to Sarah, the celebration had only just begun.

They led me to where the picnic area was, and women from everywhere were carting in homemade food and baked items. I could smell the barbeque and couldn’t wait to stuff my face with whatever was offered.

A loud announcer ordered the music to cease while we all bowed our heads and said grace. The town of people got quiet and waited for the official to begin.

“Dear Heavenly Father, I’d like to first thank you for giving us this beautiful day to celebrate with friends and family. Thank you for giving the hands that provided all this delicious food, and the families of everyone in attendance. I’d also like to take a moment to give thanks to the battalion of soldiers in Afghanistan that lost their lives yesterday. Their courage and devotion to this country will never be forgotten. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.”

I opened my eyes and felt weak in the knees. A whole battalion of soldiers had died in Afghanistan. Brooks was in Afghanistan. Everything around me started to spin and I felt myself falling, realizing that I was passing out.

I saw people looking over me and realized I was lying on the ground. Someone had my head and I quickly realized it was Bobby. “Hey there. You alright?”

I tried to sit up, but it was too fast and I got queasy. I began to ask what happened, but remember the blessing and everything came back. I sat up again, this time determined to know the truth. I had to know if Brooks was okay, even if it would reveal where I was living. I was desperate to know and I wasn’t going to be alright until I had verification from a legitimate source.

I grabbed Bobby’s phone out of his pocket that he used for emergency roadside calls and made sure I blocked the outgoing number. Then I started dialing the number to the Valentine’s house. I didn’t care who answered, or what they were going to say to me. My heart was racing and I had to know, no matter what the outcome. I had to find out if he was alright.

It was hard to hear in the crowd of people and Sarah wasn’t going to let me out of her sight. She stood next to me holding my arm as I waited for someone to answer.

“Hello?”

It was Danica. I took a deep breath, swallowed my pride and asked. “I just need to know if he’s alright. Just tell me Brooks wasn’t one of those soldiers that died.”

“Katy? Katy is that you? Sweetheart, please answer me.”

I was crying, hearing her voice after so long. “Please just tell me he’s okay.”

“Brooks is fine. He called us this morning. Katy, I want you to come home. We can work this out as a family. Branch is a mess over you leaving.”

I hung up the phone. Even if I could go home and make amends I knew it would never happen. I couldn’t risk them knowing about my baby.

Bobby pulled me into his arms when he saw me crying. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you take me someplace quiet?”

He kissed me on my forehead. “Of course. Let me go make us two plates and I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

I didn’t stop crying until we were sitting in a nearby field and Bobby had turned off the truck. “What’s got you so upset?”

I knew he didn’t want to hear about Brooks, but I wasn’t going to lie about it. “I heard that those soldiers died. The father of my baby is in Afghanistan. I thought he was one of them.”

Bobby pulled me into his arms and let me finally settle down. “I take it he wasn’t?”

I shook my head.

“Katy, do you think you’ll ever make amends with him?”