Love’s Suicide(8)
Author: Jennifer Foor

He sat up and pointed toward his door. “Kat, we’re friends, even family. I didn’t do this to hurt you. Get it through your head and get out of my room.”

“You’re hurting me right now, Brooks. I don’t understand what I ever did to you to make you treat me this way. You used to protect me.”

“I used to do a lot of things and it got me nowhere.”

I leaned over and closed my eyes as my lips got close to his ear. I could smell that his cologne was different from his brothers. It was sweeter, like I’d always remembered. “I don’t want to lose you.”

He grabbed my arm and kept me facing him. My eyes shot open and were close enough to feel each other’s breath on our faces. “Why? Say it, Kat. Tell me what we both already know.”

I should have been honest as some desperate plea to keep him near me. It would have been so wrong, but I couldn’t stand imagining him not being my friend. In that very moment I knew I loved him so much more than I should have.

Instead of saying it, I pulled away from him. “I’m not saying anything.”

I got up and started walking out of the room, when he said, “Yeah, that’s what I figured.”

I didn’t go back downstairs to hang out with Branch. After shutting my bedroom door, I fell onto my bed and cried harder than I had the day before. Brooks was breaking my heart, and I couldn’t tell anyone about it, because I’d lose Branch, whom I equally loved. How I’d let myself fall for two brothers was beyond me.

I knew I had to let Brooks go if I wanted to have a future with Branch. After all, I couldn’t have both of them, and I knew it.

Chapter 4

June 2007

“Congratulations you three. How about you all stand together for a picture?” Danica was making us take a million pictures after the ceremony had ended. Thankfully it was a sunny day outside and the weather wasn’t too hot.

We’d all managed to graduate from our little private school and the big world was out there waiting for us.

As for me and Branch, we’d be attending school at Salisbury State University in Maryland. It was about two hours from home, but close enough to visit when we wanted to.

Brooks was another story altogether. He was ordered to report for boot camp two days after graduation.

Danica and Walt had flown in both sets of their parents and invited everyone over for a joint graduation-going away party. It was nice for them to see their grandparents since they all lived in Florida. Every year we visited for vacation, but I knew they wanted to be a part of the twins becoming adults.

I was grateful to already be included in the family that I would one day call my in-laws. I’d never have to worry about meeting them or have them end up hating me. They’d known me since birth and loved me as if I was their daughter for all that time.

The grandparents were the same. They all gave me gifts for my birthday and holidays and never treated me like I didn’t belong. For graduation one set of them gave each of us five hundred bucks. Branch and I would use ours toward expenses while attending school. We knew we’d have to get jobs, but that would only get us started without having to depend on his parents.

The morning of the party, Brooks stayed in his room. I’d helped Danica decorate and make breakfast for all of our guests. When he didn’t come down to eat, I took a plate up to his room. I knocked three times before opening the door and finding him lying on his back, shirtless. “Hey, I brought you food.”

He sat up. “Thanks. I wasn’t that hungry.”

I sat it to the side and plopped down next to him. He smiled, but didn’t say anything as he moved a piece of my hair away from my face. “I like when you don’t hide your face.”

I blushed and smiled, finally bringing myself to look over at him. “I’m going to miss you, Brooks. Promise you’ll visit?”

He smiled and kept staring at me. “Yeah. I’ll come see you.”

The room got quiet and I was uncomfortable sitting there with him not having a shirt on. “I better get back downstairs.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back onto the bed. My body fell against his and our faces were super close. Brooks brought his hand up and brushed it across my cheek. “Don’t slap me, Kat. Please, just let me have a few seconds of this.” He kept his eyes open and pressed his soft lips against mine. I should have pulled away, knowing what we were doing was wrong in so many ways, but it was impossible. I couldn’t deny myself a private goodbye.

When I didn’t move away, our one kiss intensified. Soon our tongues were mingling together and his hands were running up the sides of my shirt. I could feel myself burning for more and reacted as quickly as I could.

I finally pulled away and put my hand over my mouth after standing up frantically. “I’m sorry. I need to go back downstairs.” I felt horrible, imagining how hurt Branch would be if he’d seen us. Then again, I couldn’t help but feel a pull toward Brooks. As much as I wanted to feel guilty, I just couldn’t.

He didn’t move, but kept his gaze focused on me, as if he were trying to read what I was thinking. A half-smile formed in one corner of his mouth. “Does he know you’re in love with me?”

It was that very moment when I knew if I lied I’d drive him out of my life forever. I didn’t want Brooks to go away thinking he was wrong. I wanted him to know that I’d always have a special place in my heart for him, because as wrong as it was, it was also true. “Please don’t do this, Brooks.”

He smiled and scratched his head, possibly to consider calling me a coward. “Kat, have you asked yourself how long you’re going to go on with my brother before you realize you picked the wrong guy?”

I put my hands on my hips. “Don’t go there. You know I love Branch.”

He got up on his knees, separating the distance between us. “When I’m on that bus tomorrow and you’re done waving goodbye to me, I want you to do me one favor.”

“What?”

“I want you to think about being without Branch for a few months. Then switch it around and think about being without me. When you have your answer, you’ll know why I had to leave.”

I was so confused. “That makes no sense. You already know I’ll miss you.”

He started laughing and fell down on his back. “Kat, this ain’t even about missing me. This is about you living with a lie. It’s about my brother getting everything he wants, and never considering that you were never his to have.”