Melt for You (Page 43)

It’s a testament to my crazed state of mind that Michael and I are already married with children and giving each other sly glances over dinner as we tell the rehearsed lie we’ve made up when some nosy relative wants to hear about our first date.

I shower, dress, and attempt to blow-dry my hair but end up winding it into a messy bun because my hands are shaking too hard to keep the dryer steady. I apply a coat of the mascara Mrs. Dinwiddle gifted me in her bag of beauty goodies, then consider applying lipstick but decide it will probably only end up all over my front teeth, making me look like I’ve eaten a crayon. I put the tube away and slick on a coat of clear lip gloss instead.

Then I look at myself in the mirror.

My color is high. My eyes are wild. Rebellious little tufts of hair have escaped from the bun and float all around my face like fuzzy clouds. I look like I’ve recently escaped from a mental institution.

“Screw it,” I mutter. “This is how I look. If Michael doesn’t like it, he can suck an egg.”

Cam’s positive body image rhetoric must be having some effect, because a few weeks ago those words would’ve been heresy.

I don’t have enough time to take the subway uptown, so I hail a cab. I do deep-breathing exercises during the ride, which does nothing but make the cabbie look worried. By the time he drops me off in front of the Liquid Kitty, I’m teetering on the edge of hysteria.

This is a moment I’ve dreamed of for a decade. Ten years I’ve been in love with Michael Maddox. Ten years I’ve pined and daydreamed and longed for him to notice me, and now here I am, standing on the sidewalk in front of the bar where he asked me to meet him for a drink.

Well, technically ordered me to meet him, but this isn’t the time to split hairs.

A doorman in hat and tails opens the door for me, nodding solemnly as I pass. I find myself in a dark anteroom lit by a garish red chandelier that throws prisms of scarlet light over the plain black walls. The effect has a startling resemblance to dripping blood.

It seems the Liquid Kitty is, in fact, a portal to hell.

“Good evening,” says a voice to my right. I nearly jump out of my skin.

“Oh. Hello.”

A tall, bald man with linebacker’s shoulders wearing a tuxedo has materialized from behind a black velvet curtain. His gaze flicks over me, quickly assessing. “Are you here to meet a member?”

I looked up the address on my phone but didn’t realize this was a membership club. I thought it was just a regular old bar. Silly me. “Um . . . Michael Maddox?”

He inclines his head. “Very good. Please allow me to take your coat.” He extends his hand, which is the size of a dinner plate.

“Thank you.” I shrug off my coat and hand it over, then hug my handbag to my chest like it’s a life preserver.

Tuxedo Man smiles, amused by my obvious discomfort. He disappears behind the curtain for a moment, then returns without my coat. “This way, miss.”

He motions for me to follow him. I do, pleased that he called me “miss” instead of “ma’am.” It’s the little things.

We pass through another black velvet curtain into a large sitting room decorated by someone with a fond nostalgia for nineteenth-century French bordellos. Red velvet divans are scattered about, fringed with tassels. Elaborately carved gilt mirrors decorate the walls. A fire crackles in a fireplace against one wall, lending the room a warm glow.

I try to ignore the oil painting above the fireplace of the voluptuous nude woman lounging on a sofa with a white dog, but it’s so large it’s impossible. Her sly smile is vaguely disturbing.

We cross the empty sitting room and go through another curtain, and I’m wondering if the interior designer got a bulk discount on velvet drapes.

We pass through a bar and lounge that looks like something right out of an Edith Wharton novel. Everything supple leather, gleaming wood, and polished antiques. It reeks of upper-class privilege. So do the clientele: well-dressed gentlemen and ladies mingling with cocktails in hand, laughing quietly or engrossed in conversations. No one glances at us as we pass, which I’m grateful for, because I’m embarrassed by my outfit.

I’m sure I’m the only one here who shops at The Gap.

Finally we enter a large dining room. The main floor holds dozens of tables and quartets of large leather chairs. On one end of the room is a stage. The other three walls have private booths of tufted carmine leather, set into large niches with curtains on either side held back with gold tassels.

At one of the booths sits Michael, drink in hand, watching the door.

We make eye contact across the room, my heart leaps into my throat, and I’m terrified all over again.

God, if you like me even a little, please don’t let me screw this up.

TWENTY-ONE

“Miss,” says Tuxedo Man, bowing. When he gestures toward Michael, I understand I’m to make the rest of the walk to his table alone.

“Keep it together,” I warn myself through stiff lips as I approach Michael’s table. “Don’t say anything stupid. Let him do the talking.”

He doesn’t take his gaze off me as I walk. By the time I reach him, my face is throbbing with heat.

“Hi,” I say shyly.

He stands, kisses me on both cheeks, and smiles down at me. “Hi yourself. Sit.”

I do, only it’s more like collapsing. He kissed me! On both cheeks!

“Do you like bourbon?” He pushes his drink across the table toward me.

No. Gross. “Yes! I love it!” Relieved to have something to do other than drool at him, I guzzle the drink. And immediately regret it.

I cough as fumes sear my nose and throat. My grimace of disgust could win an award.

Michael chuckles. “How about a glass of wine instead?”

I’m so embarrassed I could wrap myself in one of the stupid velvet curtains and spend the rest of eternity cocooned under the table, but I nod because a rational answer is expected. “Thanks.”

Michael signals for a waiter, who materializes from thin air. “Sir?”

“A bottle of the 2000 Romanée-Conti.”

The waiter bows so low it’s comical. It looks like a yoga pose.

“Right away, sir.”

He vanishes as quickly as he arrived, leaving me, Michael, and my raging insecurity alone.

Michael leans against the booth, stretches one arm along the back, and smiles. “You came.”

I know it’s just me, but that sounded super sexual. “Um. Yes. I c-came.”

He stares at me until I want to squirm. Then he reaches out and softly touches my cheek. “Your cheeks are burning, Joellen.”

So are my panties, sir. “I’m a little . . . this is all a bit . . . surprising.”

I worry that’s the wrong thing to say, because his smile fades. He drags a hand through his hair, props both elbows on the table, and looks at the tablecloth. He’s wearing a jacket that matches the color of his eyes, a white shirt open at the collar, tan slacks, and a huge chunky gold watch that glitters under the lights. I think it has diamonds.

Cam would probably snicker at a man who wears a watch with diamonds.

Why am I thinking about Cam?

I sit up straighter, push McGregor out of my head, and focus on Michael. Beautiful, elegant Michael, who now looks like he’s about to cry. “Michael? Are you all right?”

He clears his throat and turns to me with a smile that looks forced. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to forgive me—it’s been a rough couple of weeks. This divorce . . .” He makes a dismissive motion with his hand. “Enough about me and my problems. Let’s talk about you.”