Repair Me (Kin #1)(31)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Mack pulled away, looking disappointed. “You seemed pretty into it.”

I stood up and walked over to the window. “Well, I changed my mind.” I ran my fingers over my temples. “Look, I need time to think about things. I can’t just pretend nothing happened to get us to this point.”

“So, you’re just going to leave?”

I waved my hands around, expressing my frustration. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Can you please just consider that things are messed up for me right now? I need space.”

He stood up and looked at me. “Is that because of that guy? Who was he, Sky?”

How did I answer that? I knew it shouldn’t have anything to do with Ford, but it had EVERYTHING to do with him. “Please, Mack. I need to get out of here for a couple days without you following me. I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you aren’t going to see him again?” It pissed me off that he thought he had a right to be jealous, after what he’d put me through.

“I’m not going to see him. I don’t even know his phone number.” I regretted that part. “There is no other guy. He was just someone I met at the beach,” I lied.

He pulled me into his arms again and placed his forehead against mine. “Promise me that you’ll think about being with me again. I can’t live without you, Sky. You mean everything to me.” He kissed me on my nose. “I need you and I am so sorry for hurting you this way. I’ll do anything to have you back, babe.”

I stepped back, leaving him standing there watching me. “I appreciate that you feel that way. I just need to have a clear head before I make a decision like that. I hope you can understand.”

For the first time, I saw Mack starting to tear up. I don’t know why, but I wanted to laugh. Did he think those tears were equivalent to mine? Did he think that if he shed some of his own I would drop down on my knees and give him head? Emotions weren’t a game and I had no remorse when it came to that. He’d cheated because he wanted to f**k someone else. After experiencing Ford, I wondered if Mack was just as unhappy as I was. Maybe we weren’t compatible with each other and because of that we’d never been completely satisfied.

Mack saw me to my car and waved as I drove away. I tried not to get emotional, but it was ridiculous to think I could control my feelings that way. My heart was shredded and I wanted to run until I felt nothing.

Ford

Consumed with guilt. That’s what I was.

I felt guilty for sleeping with Ashley. I felt guilty for being a dick to my mother. The worst guilt came when I thought about leaving Sky. After I’d gotten myself over sleeping with my ex, she let it slip that Sky had already come to get her keys, while I was in the shower. I didn’t have to wonder why she didn’t stick around, since Ashley was barely dressed when she answered the door.

That was it. Sky had walked out of my life just as fast as she walked in it. With no phone number and no other way to reach her, my chances of ever seeing her again were over.

Ashley still hadn’t left and since the damage had already been done, I didn’t make a big deal about her leaving. I was still pretty drunk and liked the idea of not being alone. She didn’t try to touch me. I guess she realized that we didn’t screw because I secretly wanted it. She kept to herself, lying on the bed next to me watching television. I put a pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep, but my head was starting to pound. I turned over and looked at my ex. “Ash, did she look sad?”

She shrugged but didn’t take her eyes off of the television.

“Would you look at me. I need to know. Did she look upset?”

“Why do you care? Who is she anyway? I’ve never seen her. Did you meet her at college?” I wish she had gone to my college. She’d be easier to find.

“No! It doesn’t matter how I know her.”

“Whatever. She handed me the money and told me to give it to you. I didn’t really care how she looked.” She rolled in my direction and grabbed me between the legs. “I can make you stop thinkin’ about her, you know.”

I grabbed her hand and moved it off of me. “That’s the thing. You really can’t.”

Ashley sat up and looked right at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“This thing between us isn’t goin’ to happen, Ash. You know it as much as I do. I’ve got too much shit goin’ on to rehash our f**ked up relationship.”

“You really like her don’t you?” She hugged herself and looked down at her knees.

“I did. Not that it matters now. I’m sure she’s long gone by now. I f**ked that up myself.”

Ash stood up and started pulling on her shorts. “I wish I could be what you want.”

I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a cigarette. It was funny how I’d barely smoked when I was around Sky. She kept me happy enough and I never felt stressed. I lit it up and looked over at Ash. “Yeah, me too.”

We stared at each other for a second and I knew what was coming. Ashley had tears running down her cheeks as she walked up to my side of the bed. She lifted off my shirt and tossed it on the floor, then took off her shorts. “I may not be what you want, but I can be what you need.”

I took another drag of my cigarette and looked at her naked body. She moved slowly, climbing on top of me and straddling me. Then she grabbed my cigarette and took a drag before sitting it in the ashtray. “What are you doin’?”

She leaned down, close to my face. “I’m distractin’ you.”

Her lips brushed over mine. “I’m not in the mood.” I tried to move, but she reached down and grabbed my cock.

“You’re always in the mood, Ford. That’s one of the things I love about you.” She started stroking me and pressed her soft lips against mine again.

What was I supposed to do? I didn’t have a girlfriend and I was all f**ked up in the head. If Ashley could ease my stress, and she was willing, I wasn’t turning her down.

There was only one problem, well two, if you count me being sexually exhausted.

Sky.

I couldn’t get the girl out of my mind.

I kept comparing the things that Ashley was doing to me, to how Sky had done it. I even closed my eyes and tried to imagine that Ashley was Sky. It was wrong in so many ways, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was desperate to feel her touch again.

I could see Ashley taking me into her mouth, but closed my eyes and imagined being in the shower with Sky. I could feel the water trickling down my body as she pleasured me in a way that Ashley never could.