Replace Me (Kin #2)(40)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“I don’t care about Joey, or anyone else.” I walked over and touched the back of her shoulders. Since she refused to face me, it was easy to keep my arms there without seeing her disappointed face. “Tell me you don’t miss me. Tell me you never think about all of the good times we had together. I’m not talkin’ about sex, Lace. We were closer than that and it took you leavin’ me for me to realize it.”

She turned around, finally, looking me right in the eyes with tears coming out of hers. “I do miss you. I waited so long to be your girlfriend and when I finally was, it felt better than I thought it would. I could see us having a real future together. I wanted it.” She looked sad again and wiped off her tears. “But this relationship changed so fast. Trust is everything to me, Shayne. Without that, we’ve got nothing to go on. You act like this is so easy for me. It’s not. I’ve been miserable and I know you hate Joey, but he’s kept me sane. He doesn’t make promises that he can’t keep.”

“He lies too. Look at the phone call. Are you just goin’ to ignore the fact that he threatened me and neglected to tell you I called?”

“No. I will deal with him later.”

She started to walk out of the kitchen and I followed her. “Lacey, don’t walk away. We need to talk about this. I can’t let you go.”

I grabbed her by the arm and spun her around, causing her to smack into my chest. We looked at each other and I could feel a connection. She could feel it too, because she had suddenly stopped fighting me. So I leaned down and kissed her, passionately, like my life depended on it. Lacey pulled away when I tried to put my tongue in her mouth. Her hand came across my face, swiftly shocking me by the force of the slap. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

I pulled her close to me once more, this time pleading with my words. “Please don’t be mad. Lacey look at me. Look up at me and tell me that you don’t miss me.” Then I decided to change my plan. Pleading wasn’t working. I needed another way. “If we’re really done, not because you don’t love me, but because you can’t trust me, then be with me. Sleep with me one last time, Lace. Let me make love to you and get closure. I can’t hurt like this anymore. Please. It’s killin’ me feelin’ like this. I know you owe me nothin’, but maybe it will help both of us, in some way. Don’t you want to be able to let go?” My eyes were burning. I was so damn desperate that I was almost in tears.

Lacey didn’t answer. She couldn’t because she was too busy bawling. She knew right from wrong and my plea had only confused her feeling more. Knowing that she was a one man kind of guy, I’d put her in the position to do something that she was very much against.

I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head as she cried, feeling bad about making her react this way.

When she finally calmed down enough, I let go of Lacey, took a deep breath, and looked down at her. She reached her arm up and touched my cheek with the palm of her hand. Just feeling her touch me gave me hope, because I knew she still cared. That was when I felt the first tear fall down my face. I hadn’t cried in years, even when Harley passed away. Sure, I’d been upset and even had tears in my eyes, but this was different. Lacey watched me for a moment and then laid her head against my chest again. “I’ll do it Shayne. I’ll be with you one last time, so that we can both walk away with closure. This isn’t fair to either of us, lingering on. I want to be friends, but I can’t with these feelings. I can’t move on until we both know it’s over. If we do this, Shayne, it’s to say goodbye, and nothing else. Promise me?”

She’d given me the green light and I knew I had one last chance to win her back. “Yes, I promise.”

Lacey

We’d made it up to my room before either of us touched one another. My shirt came off first, perhaps to give him the motivation to move forward with our stupid plan.

Shayne’s kisses were aggressive, like he’d waited forever to be able to do it. I didn’t stop him though, after longing for what felt like forever. This wasn’t ideally what closure looked like, but I was willing to do whatever it took to get him out of my system.

With each brush of our lips, every touch from his hands, and the way he looked at me, I thought about Joey. This wasn’t something that I was going to be proud of doing. I kept telling myself that I missed Shayne, that I wanted this and it was necessary, when all along it was apparent that it was wrong.

Our charge for closure would leave us more broken, that was a given.

Just as I was about to pull away, I realized something. Shayne was here with me, giving me every ounce of what he had to offer, and it wasn’t enough. It didn’t give me butterflies, or send me to new heights with every touch.

In fact, as much as he tried, I wasn’t turned on. My mind wanted Shayne, because I felt like he’d broken my heart, but my body wanted Joey; the man who had claimed to not lie to me and done it anyway. I should have walked away from both of them. That’s what I was going to have to do.

Shayne broke my train of thought when he scooted down between my legs he tugged off my clothes and I lifted my legs, allowing him an easier pull. He ran his hand up and down my pu**y, looking at it like it was a delicious pie.

Still no butterflies.

Shayne didn’t ever initiate this with me. He was all about himself, always. Right away I could tell he was silently begging, pleading for me to want him back. His lips pressed over my smooth skin, while his tongue began to lick over my clit. Of course it felt good, but I still wasn’t feeling that burst of pleasure that Joey often gave me.

I hated comparing them, albeit I couldn’t stop. With every brush of his tongue, every motion of his hands, I imagined being with Joey.

I grabbed Shayne’s hair and tried to get into what he was doing. It felt great and in time I would cry out in bliss, except it wouldn’t take me to new places, and knowing that crushed my optimism.

This was the man that I wanted a forever with and I couldn’t focus on the fact that he was lying in my bed, attempting to make sweet love to me.

It was possible that unconsciously, I’d shut down my ability to feel what was happening, due to the fear of falling apart when it was over. I certainly didn’t want to think of this being our last time together.

My sudden realization woke me up a bit. Shayne licked harder, pressing his tightened tongue firmly against my bud. My body began to respond and I refused to fight it. I wanted to feel butterflies and scream out his name. My toes curled and I pulled on his hair harder as I felt that magical feeling overcoming me.