Shades of Twilight (Page 25)
Roanna had turned on the light when she’d entered the suite, blinking her eyes as she tried to adjust her vision, and walked around the sofa on her way to the bedroom to wake Jessie and talk to her. She had literally stumbled on Jessie’s sprawled legs, and stared down in silent stupefaction for a long moment before she realized what she was seeing and began to scream.
It wasn’t until later that she realized she’d been standing on blood-soaked carpet and that her bare feet were stained red. She didn’t remember how they had gotten clean, if she had washed them or someone else had.
The window reflected the scene behind her, the swarm of people coming and going. The rest of the family had arrived, singly and in pairs, adding their questions and tears to the confusion.
There was Aunt Sandra, Webb’s aunt on his father’s side, which made her Grandmother’s niece. Aunt Sandra was a tall, dark-haired woman with the Tallant good looks. She had never married, instead pursuing an advanced education in physics, and now worked for NASA in Huntsville.
Aunt Gloria’s daughter and her husband, Lanette and Greg Spence, had arrived with their two teenagers, Brock and Corliss. Corliss was Roanna’s age, but they had never gotten along. No sooner had they arrived than Corliss had slipped up to Roanna and whispered, "Were you really standing in her blood? What did she look like? I heard Mama tell Daddy that her head was cracked open like a watermelon."
Roanna had ignored the avid, insistent voice, keeping her face turned toward the window.
"Tell me!" Corliss insisted.
A vicious pinch on the back of her arm made Roanna’s eyes sting with tears, but she stared straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge her cousin in any way. Eventually Corliss had given up and left to badger someone else for the gory details she craved.
Aunt Gloria’s son, Baron, lived in Charlotte; he and his wife and three kids were expected to arrive later in the day. Even without them, that meant ten family members were grouped in the living room or around a comforting pot of coffee in the kitchen, with the makeup of the groups changing as people shifted back and forth.
No one was allowed to go upstairs yet, though Jessie had long since been taken away, because the investigators were still taking pictures and gathering evidence. With the deputies and all the others there in various official capacities, the big house was teeming with people, but still Roanna managed to shut them all out. She felt very cold inside, a strange chill that had spread to every cell of her body and formed a protective shell, keeping her inside and everyone else outside.
The sheriff had taken Webb away, and she had nearly choked on her guilt. This was all her fault. If only she hadn’t kissed him! She hadn’t done it on purpose, but then none of the messes she caused were on purpose.
He hadn’t killed Jessie. She knew it. She’d wanted to scream at them for even thinking something so ugly about him. Now that was all Aunt Gloria and Uncle Harlan were talking about, how shocking it was, as if he’d already been tried and convicted. Only a few hours before, they had been equally convinced that Roanna was the killer.
Webb couldn’t do something like that. He could kill; somehow Roanna knew that Webb would do whatever was necessary to protect those he loved, but killing under those circumstances wasn’t the same as murder. No matter how nasty Jessie had been, no matter what she’d said or even if she’d attacked him with a poker or something, he wouldn’t have harmed her. Roanna had seen him tenderly helping a foal into the world, sitting up all night with a sick animal,
taking turns with Loyal walking a colicky horse for hours on end. Webb took care of his own.
It wasn’t her fault Jessie was dead, but because Roanna loved Webb and hadn’t been able to control her stupid impulses, it had set in motion a chain of circumstances that caused Webb to be blamed for Jessie’s death. She had no idea who had killed Jessie, her thoughts hadn’t gone that far; she only knew that it wasn’t Webb. With every cell in her body, she knew he couldn’t have done it, just as she knew this was all her fault and he’d never forgive her.
When Sheriff Watts had taken Webb away for questioning, Roanna had been paralyzed with shame. She hadn’t even been able to lift her head and look at him, sure that she would see nothing but hatred and contempt in his eyes if he happened to look at her, and she knew that she couldn’t have borne it.
She had never felt so alone, as if there was an invisible bubble around her, preventing anyone from getting close. She could hear Grandmother behind her, softly weeping again, and hear Aunt Gloria’s murmured attempts at consolation, but it didn’t quite touch her. She didn’t know where Uncle Harlan was; she didn’t care. She would never forget the way they had accused her of killing Jessie, the way they had pulled back from her as if she had the plague. Even when Sheriff Watts had said he didn’t think she’d done it, none of them had approached or apologized. Not even Grandmother, though Roanna had heard the soft "Thank God" she’d uttered when the sheriff had said he thought she was innocent.
All her life she’d tried so hard to earn these people’s love, to be good enough, but she had never succeeded. Nothing about her had ever equaled the standards of the Davenports and Tallants. She wasn’t pretty, she wasn’t even presentable. She was clumsy, untidy, and had the unfortunate habit of saying the most appalling things at the most inappropriate time.
Deep inside her, something had given up. These people had never loved her, never would. Only Webb had cared,
and now she had messed that up, too. She was alone in a fundamental way that left a huge, aching void inside. There was something devastating in knowing that if she simply walked out of this house and never came back, no one would care. The despair that she had faced earlier, when she realized that Webb didn’t love her or trust her, had settled into mute acceptance.