Crazy Beautiful Love (The Martelli Brothers #1)(46)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“Shut the f**k up.” I swung out to hit him and Vincent grabbed my fist.

“Come on, guys.”

“You’re not going to talk about her like that and not expect me to thump your sorry ass.” I glared at Jared and he looked at me contemplatively.

“You’re lucky you’re my brother.” He shook his head. “I would have f**ked you up so badly.”

“Really? You would have f**ked me up?” I scoffed back at him.

“Yeah, I would have f**ked you up.” He laughed, and I laughed as well, as the tension in the room drifted away slightly.

“So, we all down to clean?”

“I guess.” Vincent groaned. “When is she coming over?”

“I don’t know yet.” I looked at them with an embarrassed smile. “We kind of had an argument when she left, so I’m going to let her cool down and when she calls me I’ll invite her over.”

“It’s already rocky, and you want us to meet her?” Jared shook his head in amazement. “This is going to be so ironic if she breaks your heart.”

“Jared.” Vincent looked at him in admonishment.

“Let’s be real, it would be kind of crazy if she ends up breaking his heart. Talk about some sort of f**king poetic justice, right?” Jared gave me a rueful smile. “I mean, I hope it doesn’t happen, but I just honestly can’t see this going well.”

“Let me worry about that.” I stretched. “Anyways, I gotta go to bed. Talk to Joey, and let me know what’s going on. We can start the cleaning in the morning.”

“And can we get some food?” Vincent’s voice was soft, and I nearly cursed myself. I had already forgotten we didn’t have any food.

“Look, here’s $400.” I put the cash on the table. “It’s all we got for the car, don’t ask. We need to make it last.”

“Soon we’ll have the table filled with cash.” Jared grinned and I smiled weakly, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling in my stomach.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Night, guys.”

“Night, bro.” Vincent sat back down and opened up his textbook. I looked over to Jared, who was staring at me with a slightly apologetic expression in his eyes.

“Night, Logan.” He offered me a peace smile and I walked back to him and gave him a quick hug.

“I know you got my back bro, it’s okay,” I whispered into his ear before walking out of the room. I tried to hurry past the living room, but I wasn’t fast enough.

“Logan, is that you?” my dad called out to me, and I opened the door and peered up.

“What’s up, Dad?” I stood at the door and avoided eye contact with him. I didn’t want to look into his vacant bloodshot eyes tonight. I didn’t want to talk about Mom or hear stories about his life. Or be shouted at or questioned. I just couldn’t deal with it.

“I was just watching this movie, and the actress, she looked like your mom.”

“Yeah?” I nodded and looked at the TV screen. He was watching some old movie on AMC.

“She had long blonde hair like your mom, though she wasn’t as beautiful.”

“Okay.”

“Your mom was the most beautiful woman in the world.” His voice cracked and I finally looked over at him. He was lying down on the couch and there were tears streaming out of his eyes.

“She was beautiful.”

“Why did she have to die?” He looked up at me with a pained expression. “She promised me we would grow old together. She promised me she would stand with me through thick and thin, good and bad. But she lied.”

“She didn’t lie, Dad.” I ran my hands through my hair. “She died.”

“It was my fault.” He sat up, and reached to grab an empty beer can from the pile of cans at his feet.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I sighed. “She had cancer.”

“Have you ever been in love, son?” He looked at me searchingly.

“No.”

“When you’re in love, that person becomes a part of you. What happens to them, happens to you, and you do everything you can to protect them.” He crushed the beer can in his hand. “And I didn’t protect her.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Dad.”

“I wasn’t the man for her.” He shook his head. “Sometimes when you love someone, you have to know when to let go. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, you have to let go, because even your best person is not the best person for them.”

“She loved you, Dad.” I tried to comfort him, but my mind immediately went to Maddie. She liked me a lot, and I liked her. I really liked her, more than I was willing to admit. And a part of me wondered if I was just fooling myself. Could any of this ever work? Even if we made the million dollars, I’d still be a Martelli and a thief. And she would be Maddie: beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, caring Maddie. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to give her the life that she deserved. The life that I wanted for her.

“But where did that get her?”

“It got her three children.”

“She wanted to leave me.” He threw the crushed can at the TV. “She wanted to leave me and take you boys.”

“I know.”

“I told her she would have to kill me first.” He picked up another can from the ground. “Turns out, it was she who died.” He started sobbing. “What did I do, Logan? Where did I go wrong? I sit back and look at my life, and I don’t understand. Where did I go wrong? How did this become my life?”

“I don’t know.” I bit my lip as I stared at him. But in my mind all I could think was, it was the mayor, the mayor did this to you, Dad. And a part of me broke all over again. How could we ever get through this?

“She was in love with someone else when she started dating me.” It took a few seconds for his words to resonate in my brain, and I froze as I realized what he had just said.

“What do you mean?” I frowned and walked closer to him, so I could look into his face as he spoke.

“She was dating someone else. Someone she was in love with.” He laughed. “But I loved her, and I knew she had to be mine.”

“What do you mean?” My voice rose. “Who was she dating?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He frowned as he took me in. “Get me a beer.”

“There is no more beer.”