Crazy Beautiful Love (The Martelli Brothers #1)(59)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“Listen to me, Logan.” She spoke slowly and steadily, and I sat there staring at her, wondering how I had could have ever doubted her. “You are a special, wonderful, brilliant man. You’re not less than anyone. You are handsome, and kind, and funny, and you are loving and sweet. And my heart will always have a place for you, but I’m not the one for you.” She shook her head slowly. “I love you, but I can’t do this.”

“Give me another chance,” I begged her, my head caught up in the wonder of her words. “I f**ked up. I know. I will do anything to prove myself to you.”

“I can’t do this, Logan!” she shouted at me, and the tears ran down her face more quickly this time, smearing her mascara. “I just can’t do this. Please. You hurt me. You are so quick to think the worst of me. I will do anything for you. But I just can’t do this. What you did to me the other night, it hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt in my life. You crushed me. Do you understand that? You crushed me!”

“Your dad used to be best friends with my dad.” The words coming out of my mouth sounded robotic. “Your dad was upset because my dad was smarter and got my mom. Your dad set my dad up with the police. My dad’s life was never the same.” I knew I was mumbling and not making sense, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted her so badly to understand. “I grew up hating your dad because my dad hated him for ruining his life. We came to this house every week for years and just sat outside, and my dad would tell us about his dreams and his goals before your dad screwed him over. And then we would go home to our squalor, and we’d lay in bed hungry and cold, and we hated the family that lived on Manor Road.” I paused to see if she was listening, and I saw the dismayed shock on her face as she stared at me. I continued and lifted up my shirt, “You see this scar? My dad stabbed me one day when I asked him to take us home. I was fed up of hearing the story about what your dad had done. It consumed his life. He was a drunk. He is a drunk.” I paused and banged my fist against the steering wheel, unable to look at her as I spoke. “I hate him so much, I hate who he is. He’s a sorry drunk who hit his wife and his kids, and I hate your dad for making him that person. I’m a jumble of emotions and I don’t even know what to say.” I turned to look at her to see how she was reacting, and she ran her hands down my chest and over my scar. She looked up at me with more tears welling in her eyes and I continued, this time, grabbing her hands and talking. “My whole life has consisted of hating your dad, stealing cars, and trying to make a better life for my brothers. I never wanted to meet a girl and fall in love, and I certainly never wanted to meet you.” I rubbed the tears away from her face as she cried. “When I saw you that night, I wondered who you were, this calm, cool and beautiful car thief, and I took you to the field because we had instant chemistry and I just liked how I felt when I was around you. And then you were so spunky and confident, and I was intrigued by you. When we made love, I felt like my body was on fire. But then you told me who you were, and I hated you. I hated myself for being with you.”

“That’s why you hurried me home.” She spoke softly, and I nodded. “I think I understand it now.” She sighed. “I’m glad you’re finally opening up to me. I guess I understand why you wanted to hate me.”

“But I couldn’t stop thinking of your sweet smile and confident manner. And you kept coming back for more, and you seemed to get me, to understand me, to know and like me. You saw the real me. The me inside of the shell. You saw the real Logan Martelli, and I couldn’t stop myself from falling for you.”

“I thought it was the sex.” She made a little joke and I felt my heart leap as she finally cracked a smile.

“Well, the sex was amazing, but that was just a bonus. You made me start to believe that there could be a happy ending for someone like me.”

“But you didn’t really believe it.” She shook her head, sad again.

“No, a part of me didn’t believe it.” I sighed. “And when I got to the party, with my heart in my hand, and you told your dad I was a ‘friend’ after everything, I thought to myself, it was all a lie. She doesn’t love me, she’s not going to always be there for me. And I just couldn’t take it. I needed to make you hurt, as you had hurt me.” I paused and closed my eyes. “And I regretted it as soon as I saw the look in your eyes when you realized I had opened the door.”

“You wanted to hurt me.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I have never wanted to hurt you.”

“And you didn’t trust me.” She bit her lip. “I would do anything for you, Logan, and my heart is broken about my father. I’m shocked and devastated, but I—”

“Do you love me?” I interrupted her, not wanting her to reject me again. She nodded and my heart soared. “Do you think I would hurt you on purpose?” She stared at me for a long time and shook her head. “Do you believe I love you?” My voice cracked as I said ‘love’ and she nodded, her eyes darkening. “I think we deserve to give each other another chance.” I stared at her, hoping to convince her to give me one last chance. “For the sake of love, give us one last chance.”

“Okay.” The sound was so low, I wasn’t sure that I had heard her properly.

“What?” I asked, not daring to believe the words I had heard.

“Okay, I’ll give you another chance.”

“No more dating Joey.” I grinned at her and she rolled her eyes. “And no more kissing him either.”

“I didn’t kiss him.” She laughed and I pulled her towards me.

“I saw him kiss you tonight.” I frowned at her, as I started to get jealous again. “You didn’t say no.”

“He pecked me, Logan.” She giggled. “That’s hardly a kiss.”

“Don’t let him do it again.”

“Okay.” She smiled and stared into my eyes. “I’m sorry about my dad.”

“You believe me?” I looked at her with a worried expression, scared she doubted what I had said.

“Yes.” She nodded. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me. And from some things my mother has said recently,” she sighed, “well, I think she was trying to tell me that my dad wasn’t or isn’t the man I think he is.”