If Forever Comes (Take This Regret #2)(42)
Author: A.L. Jackson

“All right, let’s get you over there.”

She raced downstairs, and I followed her out into the cool evening air. I raised the garage door, and Lizzie climbed into the backseat of my car. I backed out and put the car in drive, couldn’t stop my smile as I glanced at my over-eager daughter through the rearview mirror. A suggestion of joy hinted at my heart, slowly pumping, pulsing through my veins. I drew in a breath.

“Are you excited,” I asked, knowing full well just how excited she was.

“I can’t even wait!” she squealed from her spot, holding her sleeping bag snugly on her lap.

At the stop sign at the end of the street, I peered at her reflection, searching, making sure my six-year-old child was really ready to take this big girl step.

I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready for it.

“Are you nervous at all?” My eyes narrowed in question.

She was growing up so fast. And the last few months had been such a blur. I felt as if I’d missed so much. Now, I had the urge to hold on, to cling to her, to relearn my little girl. No doubt, I’d missed much that had shaped her, missed all those little things that had been important to her life.

And as important as the little things were, I had to accept that I’d essentially been absent as Lizzie had to deal and grow accustomed to the trauma she’d been dragged through over the last few months. There was no question it had made a huge impact on her life. Lives had been ripped apart when Lillie’s had ended, the hopes and dreams we’d all had crushed.

Sadness thrummed, beat along with that joy I now felt slipping through my veins.

God, these conflicting emotions were overwhelming.

I knew I had to talk to her about it, that I had to talk, when I’d done so very little of it since Lillie had been taken from us. Fear held me back, though, fear of opening myself up to the profusion of pain. But for Lizzie, I would, and I’d have to do it soon.

Lizzie’s gaze drifted out the window, and she seemed to ponder my question. She slowly turned back to me. “I don’t think so, Mommy. Maybe a little bit. My tummy kind of feels funny, but I think it’s in a good way.”

A soft smile curved my mouth. She was truly the most amazing child, the depth of her, the way she thought, and the keen way she looked at the world. I studied the road then glanced at her.

“Well, you know my cell phone number, right? If you feel scared at all or just want to talk, you can tell Adriana’s mommy that you want to call me, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

I turned right onto a narrow neighborhood street and pulled up behind the line of cars parked on either side of the road.

Lizzie was already unbuckled and out the door by the time I went around to her side. She ran up the walkway ahead of me, scrambling up two steps to the ranch-style house, the front lined with lush trees. The front door opened before she had the chance to ring the bell.

Logan stepped out, waving behind him.

“Hey you two.” He flashed a wide smile when he noticed us there. He tapped Lizzie’s nose. “Are you excited for the party?” he asked her.

“Yes! I’m the most excited in my whole life. Is Kelsey already here?”

“She sure is. Already inside.” He inclined his head toward the door. “You better go catch up with her. She was asking for you.”

“Okay.” Lizzie raced inside.

I cast a small smile at Logan as I edged toward the entrance. “I’m glad Kelsey will be here tonight. That makes me feel better.”

“Me, too. I’ve been worrying about this all day.” He huffed a sigh. “Guess it’s time to let them grow up a bit.” He ambled down the two steps, turned to the side so he could slide by me. He gestured back to the house with his chin. “It’s pure mayhem in there. Prepare yourself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much pink in my life.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Thanks for the warning.”

“Not a problem.”

I stepped through the door and into the chaos happening inside. Girls ran, squealing as they howled with laughter. Streamers and balloons hung from what seemed every surface, confetti strewn across the entry table where the gifts were set. I set Lizzie’s gift down just as Dana, Adriana’s mom, rounded the corner.

Amusement filled her face. “Oh, hi. I thought I saw Lizzie blaze by me about five seconds ago.”

I offered an awkward smile as I tried to peer farther into her home. “Are you sure you can handle all these girls tonight?”

“Pfft.” She waved a dismissive hand. “They’ll be great. As long as they’re having fun, I figure I can handle it.”

“Well, you’re a brave woman.” I hesitated before I cast a cautious glance into the depths of her home. Turning back, I lowered my voice. “I really appreciate you having Lizzie. This is her first sleepover, so just give me a call if she can’t sleep or you need me to come pick her up or whatever.”

Understanding slipped into her expression. “Of course, Elizabeth. But please don’t worry, I think they’ll all be fine. We have tons of stuff planned for them, so I figure they’ll all pass out by the time bedtime rolls around.”

I nodded my thanks then slowly made my way to the end of the hall. The living space was large and open, the kitchen and family room separated only by a large island lined in barstools. Three little girls sat in the middle of the rug, playing dolls, why another handful of them ran wildly from room to room.

Apparently Lizzie was one of them.

“Lizzie,” I called as one of the girls flew by, disappearing down another hall. “I’m heading out.”

Lizzie came running, appearing out of nowhere. Laughing, she squeezed her arms around me. “I’ll miss you!”

I hugged her back, hard and desperate and with all the love I had for my little girl. “You be a good girl, okay?”

She nodded emphatically. “Don’t worry, Mommy. I’ll be just fine.” She almost looked like she was worried for me.

I touched her chin. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Then she scampered off. I headed back down the entry hall, wished Dana good luck.

The door snapped shut behind me, and I stood in the soft coolness of the setting night. I hugged myself and lifted my face to the sky. For a second, I stilled as one bright star flickered as it slowly seeped into view. Wind gusted in, scattering leaves across my feet.

A soft puff of air escaped through my nose.

I realized no matter what life threw our way, it still sped on.