Come to Me Softly (Closer to You #2)(37)
Author: A.L. Jackson

Putting my hand out in front of me to stop him, I swallowed hard. “And I’m just protecting mine.”

Unwilling to stand in his presence any longer, I turned and headed for the door.

In the hall, footsteps clamored behind me. “Aly, wait.” Tears coated my mother’s plea as she jerked at my arm.

I spun around.

When she pulled me into her arms, I burst into tears. I couldn’t hold them in any longer because I was so angry and so sad. What had been said couldn’t be taken back, and those were the exact words that Jared definitely did not need to hear.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” she murmured at my head.

“I can’t believe he’d do that . . . say something like that,” I mumbled into the fabric of her shirt.

Gently, she ran an errant lock of my hair between two fingers, her voice low and sincere. “He just loves you . . . he doesn’t know how to see anything else.”

The conversation blinked through my mind, the hardened expression he’d worn so pronounced on his face. “That doesn’t make it okay.”

“No, it definitely does not. But I know your father very well and all of that came from fear.”

I struggled to force down all the resentment and see that, because I knew it was the truth.

But I also knew it didn’t make it right.

She edged back, holding me by the upper arms as she explored my face. “Are you okay?”

She was asking about so much more than the outburst that just played out in the dining room.

I blinked through my blurry vision. “Yeah, I think I am.”

Tumult tripped across her features, played in her eyes. “God, Aly, when you were here last week, I knew you were hurting so badly, but I had no idea how much you were dealing with. How could I not have known?”

“Mom, you can’t blame yourself for any of this.” Remorse coursed through the words that scraped from my throat.

Compassionate brown eyes searched me, and a jolt of shame worked its way through me because my mother had never been anything but supportive. “I should have told you . . . I should have told you a lot of things. I kept my feelings for Jared a secret my entire life, and there was no reason for me to continue doing it. I just didn’t know how to tell you . . . especially when I was still trying to figure out how I was going to manage all of this by myself. It wasn’t because I was ashamed or because I didn’t trust you with knowing about it, it was because I didn’t have any answers. I didn’t know how I was going to do this alone.”

“Sweetheart . . .” Her brow pinched in emphasis. “. . . you don’t ever need all the answers to talk to me . . . or to live your life, for that matter. A whole lot of it we have to figure out along the way. But no matter what, I am always here for you. I don’t want you to ever think I’m not here for you or that I would ever judge you.”

A wistful smile arched her mouth. “Probably should have mentioned that a little earlier in your life, huh?”

“Mom . . .” Regret shook my head. “I’ve always known that. None of us knew how to handle Jared . . . how to handle what happened.”

A knot traveled up Mom’s throat as she swallowed, and she inclined her head, her eyes narrowing as if she were trying to see inside me. “Are you happy, Aly? Really happy? Is this really what you want? You want to start a family with him?”

“Yes.” I said it without hesitation because it was the truth. “I’ve loved him my whole life, Mom. And no, we haven’t worked out all the details.” There were so many things we needed to decide, to figure out because so much had changed in such a short time. In my mom’s tone, I heard so many of those questions, how would I continue with school, would we get married, how would we manage? There were so many things I wanted, to call Jared my husband, to be a normal family with him. But I knew he needed time and needed to adjust to this new life.

“But we are going to make this work.” That was the one thing I knew. Nothing else mattered.

Her smile was soft, knowing, and she reached out to push back the lock of hair stuck to my cheek. “I know you will.” She laughed a small laugh. “Can’t believe you’re going to make me a grandma.”

Fidgeting, I looked to the wall covered in pictures of the past, across the faces of the people I loved. There was a tiny snapshot, the color faded with age, Christopher and Jared and me with mud smeared all over our faces, grinning at the camera. There was so much joy there . . . and I’d found that joy again.

I turned back to her. “I know things aren’t always going to be easy with him. But he’s worth it.”

“Then that’s all that matters.” She stepped back, wiping under her eyes and sniffling. She tipped her head toward the door. “Go and get him, Aly. He shouldn’t be out there by himself.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

I started toward the door, and she reached out and stopped me. Over my shoulder, I looked at her. Lines deepened on her forehead and the words dropped in a quick whisper. “I love him, too, Aly. I want you to know that. No matter what has been said, he has and will always be a part of this family.”

Thankfulness thudded my heart. And I just nodded, my small smile saying everything that both of us wanted to say.

I slipped out the door. Night had chased away the muted warmth of the November sun, and a chill pebbled on my arms as I stepped out into the darkness. I crossed my arms across my chest to block out the cold. Quietly I edged down the sidewalk leading away from my parents’ front door.

The night was heavy and quiet. A gentle breeze whistled through the trees. Branches rustled, creaked as they brushed against the side of the house.

My footsteps were light as I walked down the driveway and past my car, to the sidewalk lining the street.

To the left, he was there, slouching where he leaned his lower back against the top of the short, wooden plank railing fence that edged the boundary of the neighbor’s yard next to my parents’.

Directly across from his old house.

His long legs were stretched out in front of him with his feet planted on the ground. Staring ahead, he lifted a half-spent cigarette to his mouth. The red glowed bright as he drew it in. His hand fell to his side, twitching, his head dropping toward the ground in the same movement. Seconds passed before he turned his face to the night sky. Smoke curled above his head as he slowly blew it out. He seemed to watch it dissolve into nothing as it floated away.

Sadness poured from him.