Wreck Me (Nova #4)
Author: Jessica Sorensen

Prologue

Avery

I’d heard stories of near death experiences, although the tales never seemed to be the same. Some say their life flashed before their eyes. Others claimed they saw nothing. Then there were those who felt more than saw—a new beginning and path for their life.

Me, I saw many things.

My son.

Myself.

My sins.

The stars.

And I also felt.

The feeling wasn’t about me, but about another, as if someone was calling out to me, begging me to come back. That they needed my help.

That they were waiting for me.

Then the stars burned out.

And I thought I had died.

But I was wrong.

It was only the stars telling me my story.

Four years earlier…

Chapter 1

The beginning of the end.

Avery

Life is confusing.

Life is hard.

Life is… life.

I wish life was more. I wish it was like dreams, the happy daydreams I have all the time whenever I’m gazing up at the night sky, eagerly waiting to make a wish on a shooting star. It’s something I do every night, but my wishes have yet to come true.

Still I wait.

Keep trying.

Because if I don’t have stars and wishes then I have nothing.

When I was younger, I often wondered if the stars were trying to whisper a secret to me, maybe about the world or about my life. But that might have been me searching for unreal answers, instead of facing the real truth.

Because even now, I don’t like the real truth.

The truth is loud.

The truth is ugly.

The truth is hard.

The truth is there’s a reason why I search for answers in the stars—because it’s the last thing my father ever told me. And I’ve held on to that notion because letting go of it means letting go of the dream that one day life will get better.

“Whenever you’re confused, Avery,” he said before he gave me a final hug goodbye. I’d been lying in bed, the stars shining brightly outside my window. I can remember staring up at them as he wrapped me in his arms. “Just look up at the stars. They have the answers. They’ll guide you to a better life.”

“Really?” I asked, glancing hopefully at the midnight sky outside my window. “Is that what you do?”

He nodded. “All the time. You’re a good girl, Avery. A dreamer, like me. Always hold onto that.” He seemed sad before he walked away, never to return, leaving me with so many unanswered questions, ones the stars never reply to no matter how hard I stare at them.

Deep down, I know that the stars won’t ever answer me, that it’s about as possible as my wishes coming true. It’s nice to dream, though, otherwise I only have reality.

Like right now.

Music screams from my rooftop where I’m perched, attempting to focus on the vivid stars sparkling in the darkened sky instead of what’s going on in the neighborhood. But it’s difficult.

It’s always difficult.

A full-on rager is going on next door. It’s well past four o’clock in the morning but the people who live in the nearby houses don’t give a damn about the noise. It’s the main rule in The Subs—the nickname for the rough side of town where I live. I won’t complain about your shenanigans, and in return, you won’t complain about mine. That rule makes the area sketchy. There are always parties going on. Loudness. Little huddles. Exchanges taking place on the corners of streets. Everyone seems to be in on the sketchiness, including my mother who is having her own party downstairs at this very moment.

The nineties grunge music she listens to is clashing with the neighbor’s deafening emo/rock and the combination is starting to give me a headache. At sixteen-years-old, I feel more like an adult than the person who’s supposed to be raising me and teaching me life lessons. Instead, she acts like a teenager and I can’t help wishing I can get out of this place and away from her.

“What do you think?” I ask the stars illuminating the charcoal sky. “Will I ever get out of here?”

They twinkle but don’t offer me a real answer. They do offer me a sense of peace, though, which is what I need right now.

That and direction.

“Turn the fucking music back on!”  The sounds of angry voices cause me to cringe.

“Okay, thanks,” I mutter. “But for future reference, that wasn’t direction. Just noise.”

Deciding that it’s time to retreat back into my bedroom so I can go to bed and dream for real, I stand up and walk across the edge of the rooftop toward my bedroom window.

“Hey, Avery! Mind doing me a favor!” My neighbor Zack hollers as I’m about two steps away from making it inside.

So close.

Sighing, I turn back around. Zack is standing on the space of grass between our driveways, smoking a cigarette. Zack is a senior at the same school as me, and while we talk a lot to one another, we’re not really friends. It’s difficult to have any real friends or a boyfriend for that matter when I have to spend time juggling bills and keeping an eye on my little brother and druggie mother. I do, however, know Zack well enough to ask about his favors before agreeing to do them.

“Depends on what that favor is,” I call back down to him as I move cautiously to the edge of the roof and peer down at him.

He slyly grins up at me from the ground. “You know me too well Avery,” he says and I’m pretty sure he winks at me, but it’s too dark to tell for sure. “But this time the favor is innocent. I just need to borrow your stereo system.”

I cup my hands around my mouth and holler back at him. “My mom’s using it. Sorry.”

His grin crumbles as people grow restless inside his house, banging and shouting and destroying furniture. “Can you just go check?” he pleads with me. “She might not be using it anymore.” He pauses. “Or she could be passed out by now.”

I loathe that he knows that about my mother, but the entire neighborhood does, along with half the Carrisonville County Police Department since they receive a call out here on a regular basis.

“Fine. Give me a few minutes.” I glide my window open and duck into my room. It’s late August so the air is breezy outside, but with no air-conditioning in the house it feels like a sauna inside. I have to slip off my jacket before I do anything else. Then I grab a tie to pull up my tangled mess of long brown hair before I cross the room and open the door. The music is turned up louder than I thought and I sigh, knowing Zack is right—that everyone is probably passed out by now.