Pulled(38)
Author: A.L. Jackson

“Hey, baby sister.” I kissed her head, reluctantly setting her down. Her arms stayed firmly around my shoulders, her eyes wide as she tried to read everything in mine.

“Daniel, what’s wrong?” I averted my eyes, trying to hide my guilt.

“Can, we…uh,” I stammered, “I’d rather tel everyone at the same time, okay?”

Erin’s eyebrows furrowed, accentuating the first hint of wrinkles on her forehead, and she nodded.

“Okay.” She took my hand and led me up the walkway. Dad stood at the door, trepidation clear in his posture.

He grabbed me and pulled me to him. He

whispered against the side of my head, “I don’t know what’s going on, son, but we’re here for you. Always remember that.”

I grimaced as I took in the complete love and support he gave me, his respect, knowing I deserved none of it. I’d thrown everything he’d done for me back in his face.

Mom stood at the entryway to the family room, anxious and il at ease. She reached her hand out for mine, leading me in to the brown leather sofa and taking the seat beside me. I watched warily as Dad and Erin sat across the room.

Mom turned to me and ran her hands through the back of my hair. “Daniel, please, honey. What’s happened?”

I sucked in as much air as I could, feeling as though I might pass out. Every regret of my life sat heavily upon my chest, each pressing down, digging into my skin. I rubbed my hand over my shirt, trying to soothe it away.

“I’m going to be a father.” The words made me sick, and I was ashamed that they did.

I heard Mom gasp beside me, her hand still ing for a moment against my head. She moved it and took my hand to run her thumb in circles against my knuckles.

“When?” she asked.

My words tumbled out in a rush. “In four months.

It’s a boy, I just found out yesterday.”

“With who? Are you seeing somebody?” Mom

sounded confused.

I wondered whether she thought I’d never been with anyone since Melanie.

I heard Dad sigh from across the room. I shook my head, willing myself to tel them about Vanessa.

I looked at my father. “Dad, I’m so sorry. I—” I stal ed as he shook his head, assuring me I had nothing to be sorry for when I knew I did. “I really messed up. Do you remember that mixer we had when we first got to town?”

“Sure,” he said as if it didn’t mean anything.

“I slept with one of the reps that night.” Silence fel over the room as Mom and Erin stared at me. But it was Dad’s expression that told me how much I’d messed up.

“What? How could you do this, Daniel? Do you realize the position you’ve put us in? This could ruin our reputation before we even have a chance to get started.” He stood as he ranted, his voice angry.

I couldn’t even look at him. My shame was too great. What would I do if Dad wanted me to leave? My family was all I had.

His voice was low, but no longer filled with anger.

“Daniel, I need to speak with you in private.” I nodded, fol owing him to his study. A strange, twisted déjà vu came over me as I sat across from the same desk he had sat at when Melanie and I told him of our child.

“Who is it?” He was calm, now just wanting information.

“Her name’s Vanessa.”

“And I’m to assume this was one of your usual one-time flings?”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to.

He breathed heavily out his nose. “Damn it, Daniel.”

“I know, Dad. I’m so sorry.” I would have done anything to take it back. How ironic it was that I’d sat on this same sofa with my seventeen-year-old girlfriend, never ashamed for a second; and now I was here, almost thirty, begging for forgiveness?

“So, what does she want? I mean, you said she’s five-months? Do you even know if it’s yours?” I told him everything that had happened with Vanessa the day before.

He remained silent as I voiced all my fears, regrets, and anger.

He groaned as I finished. “I’m so pissed at you right now, Daniel.” He sat back and rocked in his black leather chair, tenting his fingers. “You know this is completely your fault, and I’m in no way excusing this, but it sounds like you’re probably right.”

He leaned forward, tilting his head as he raised an eyebrow. “So, what are you going to do? You’re going to be a father, Daniel. You are responsible for this baby, you know, even if this Vanessa did try to trap you.”

“I know. I just…this wasn’t supposed to happen. It used to be the thing I wanted most, and now…it was only supposed to be with Melanie.” I felt so guilty. I should be ecstatic right now; sitting here with the woman I loved, tel ing my family we were having a baby. Without Melanie that wasn’t possible.

I was reluctant to get back up and face the rest of my family, but I couldn’t hide in Dad’s office all night. I opened the door and halted when I found Mom leaning against the opposite wal , tears staining her face.

“I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Mom.”

She shook her head. “No, Daniel. You never could. I always knew you’d be a wonderful father.” Could my heart break any more? Mom was tel ing me I was going to be a wonderful father, and I couldn’t even stand the thought of it. I didn’t respond, but forced a tight smile, which I was sure was more of a grimace, before I left her and walked down the hall.

Dinner was tense. Nobody knew what to say to me.

Erin finally broke the tension.

“Um, guys, this feels kind of inappropriate right now, but I have some good news. I got the transfer I wanted, and I’ll be moving here next month!”

Real joy lit my face and heart. For the first time in ten years, my entire family would live in the same city. Mom was so happy I couldn’t help but forget the problems I was faced with right then.

And Melanie—It was like everyone I loved was being drawn back to me.

I looked across to Dad who smiled widely at me, and I returned the same to him. Yeah, I’d disappointed him, but we’d be okay. I swore to myself right then that I’d never do anything to jeopardize his trust again.

Erin quirked an eyebrow at me as she caught the grin on my face. I shrugged. How could I explain to her what I was feeling right now? I didn’t even know, but for the first time, it wasn’t the complete hopelessness that had filled me every single day for the last nine years.

The conversation became loud and excited as they talked about Erin’s move and where she planned to live. Erin hoped to find a smal place she could afford near our parents, and she and Mom started making plans to shop for a house.