Searching for Always (Page 89)

“You wish. I took the boxing class beforehand and left my water bottle. But you could use a few stretches, Timmy boy. Maybe bust out something better than missionary position for the ladies.”

McCoy groaned in approval. Dunn gave him the finger and stalked off.

McCoy shook his head. “Rookie’s gonna freak. He hates dogs.” A glimmer lit his eyes. “Hey, can we put Rat Fink on his desk for when he comes in? That’ll be a hoot.”

Stone shrugged. “Sure, why the hell not.”

McCoy wandered off, excited to make someone else’s life a bit miserable, and Stone let out his breath. He glanced down at Pinky and winked. “We’re good for now. Take a load off.”

She collapsed back on the floor with a big doggy sigh and went to sleep.

IT WAS THE LAST day of anger management.

She was proud of what they had all accomplished together. One of her favorite things about the classes was getting to know people on such an intimate basis. The barriers were stripped; everyone got real and realized they weren’t alone. Luther and Eli had blossomed over the session, and she felt that they would approach life differently. She had really helped.

Arilyn looked around the firehouse. Strange emotions pumped through her, and she took a moment to reconnect with her center.

Six weeks and her life had changed. Six weeks since Officer Stone Petty had trudged through the doors with a scowl and stole her heart. He challenged her, pushed her, surprised her, angered her, and gave her everything she’d always wanted from a man. But she’d learned a valuable lesson from Jacob. One had to be willing and present within the relationship or it was doomed. Already she sensed Stone backing away over the past few days, trying to find his lost footing.

She sensed he loved her. It was in his touch, the way he gazed at her, the way he buried himself deep in her body with satisfaction and tenderness. But if he fought his emotions and refused to believe they could have something permanent, she may need to make a hard decision.

Stone Petty showed her she deserved better.

Five years with Jacob had trained her to accept and be grateful for any crumbs. No more. She was whole, and good, and had a ton of love to give to someone. She wanted a man brave enough to leap with her and not blame his limitations on his inability to love or commit.

Arilyn sighed and paced the empty space. He’d changed over the past few days. Kennedy would have said he got spooked. He cited work to explain his sudden distance, defensively telling her that he needed to do double shifts for a while. His calls were brief and to the point. Already her body and heart ached for him, but he needed to find his way back to her on his own. If he even wanted to come back.

She was done chasing a man who didn’t want her one hundred percent.

Stone had been right. She wasn’t cut out for a one-night stand or short affair. She craved . . . everything.

There was one final counseling session to complete. Arilyn knew it would be her greatest challenge. She needed to approach the session as a therapist, not his lover. He held one final secret, and if he didn’t admit and accept it, the wound would fester. She had sensed it from the beginning, but it hadn’t been the right time to push.

Now it was.

A heavy sadness pressed upon her. She could lose him before they even had a fair shot. But it wasn’t up to her anymore. The only thing she had left was to offer the truth. She loved him. He could fight it, accept it, or leave. Either way, she had to try, because that was her karma and path.

Arilyn dragged in a breath and got ready for class.

“HAVE I EVER TOLD you my fantasy? You’re the star in that video by Van Halen, ‘Hot for Teacher.’ Short skirt, librarian glasses, hair pinned up.”

She lifted a brow. “Wasn’t she also half-naked and draped over a car?”

“No, that was a Whitesnake video. But that’s a great visual. You on the hood of my Pontiac. I may never recover.”

She decided to hold their final session at Kinnections. Stone sat across from her in the purple chair. Today he sported a charcoal Verily Police long-sleeved tee, jeans, and a Ray’s Billiards ball cap perched sideways. One ankle was hooked over his knee. The chair barely held his big, muscled length, giving him that extra bolt of masculine roughness that always turned her on. He was looking deliciously scruffy and casual, and her fingers curled with the urge to touch him. She’d prepped herself for some snarky comments during the last class, but he’d been quiet, even slapping Luther and Eli on the shoulder and fist bumping in that male bonding tradition. They’d walked out together as usual and scheduled their last official counseling session for the books the next day. But things were a bit strained. When she told him Kate was picking up Robert in the morning, he used the excuse of meeting the guys at the billiards place later, then picking up another shift.

Oh, yeah. He was completely spooked.

Arilyn cleared her throat, looked down at her notes from the last session, and tried to get back to business. “I’ve never done this,” she offered. “Counseled my lover. But I promise not to cross the line during the next hour if you do the same.”

“I know another way we can spend this session,” he growled. “And clothes are optional.”

“Stone.”

“Sorry.” He slouched in the chair, looking resigned. “I’ll be good. Pick away.”

She took a few breaths, recentered, and began. “Let’s talk about the incident that caused you to transfer. Another domestic abuse case.”

His muscles stiffened. He began picking at a cuticle, a sure sign he was trying to distance himself. “Yep. Same type of thing. Asshole was beating up his wife. Things got out of control. My gun went off.”