Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Accidentally Yours #3)(42)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

The sleek modern lines said one thing…“Expensive,” I mumbled.

Emma grinned from ear to ear as I slid into the black leather passenger seat.

She slowly ran her hands over the top of the steering wheel. “Oooh, you have no idea. Kinich would never let me drive this car, but since he’s in a coma…”

These were quite possibly some of the most insensitive people—beings—I’d ever met. Either that, or they were all too crazy to be worried about anything.

“If you’ve ever heard the phrase ‘boys and their toys,’ the gods put a whole new spin on it.” She revved the engine and pushed the garage door opener. “Let’s roll!” The screeching tires left behind two plumes of smoke.

I instantly gripped the sides of my seat. Clearly, Emma was a little wild. “Where are we going on this ‘drive’?” I asked over the rev of the accelerating engines.

“Woo hoo!” Emma screamed. “This baby can fly!” The car didn’t fly, it rocketed down the dark, dirt road that eerily seemed to have no end, but could, at any moment, turn into a nocturnal version of the cliff-diving scene from Thelma and Louise.

“Emma, you really should slow—”

I unexpectedly heard the unmistakable chime of…the Woody Woodpecker Show?

“Hold the wheel, Pen.” Emma began digging in her pocket.

Sweet-and-sour demons! I leaned hard and gripped the wheel with my left hand. “Could you slow—”

“Hey, baby. One sec.” She turned to me and whispered, “It’s Guy. He’s so pissed.” She giggled and turned her attention back to the phone.

“Emma, could you, please slo—”

“No,” she said to Guy, “I didn’t tell you because we’re just hopping over to Camp Uchi.”

We are?

“We’ll be fine,” she continued. “There are plenty of swarthy warriors who’ve been trained by the most fearless, sexy god known to creation.”

She must’ve meant him. I guessed the gods responded to buttering up, like any guy.

“Well,” she continued, “if I see a giant Scab, then I’ll crack his crusty ass in half.” Pause. “Nope. I will not ‘return this instant.’ And haven’t you learned by now that threatening to spank me only gets me hot?” Pause. “So does that.” Pause. “And definitely that.” Pause. “Nooo. I’ll come back when I’m good and ready. Love you. Bye.” She disconnected the call and shook her head. “Gods. They think they’re so high and mighty.”

Um. Okay.

She took the wheel but kept the metal to the pedal. The car soared over the bumpy desert road.

“Could you please slow down before we hit something? And what’s Camp Uchi?” I asked.

“It’s where the Uchben on this side of the globe train and live. There’s another in Italy.”

I remembered Kinich speaking about it—the place sounded enormous. “Do the Uchben have a lot of soldiers?”

“About five thousand are visiting this week, but they’re over a million strong—if you include everyone: soldiers, regulars, and spies. They’ve also got a killer medical plan, own a few oil-producing countries—the nice ones—and have about ten kick-ass universities, too. You can study anything you want for free. I’m studying to be a doctor—ob-gyn.”

“Really?” Couldn’t imagine Speed Racer delivering a baby. Then again, might be kind of nice to have someone like Emma; she’d make sure the whole delivery experience was like going to the drive-thru window. No twenty-hour labor if you were her patient.

“Oh yeah,” she replied, “Guy and I were trying to have a baby for a few months, and when nothing happened, I thought something was wrong with me. I mean, look at him; he’s the kind of male that can knock up a woman just by looking at her—of course, I’d kill him if he ever looked at another woman—but you get the picture.”

“Sure.” I felt the same darn way about Kinich, and he wasn’t even mine.

“So,” she said, “I saw my Uchben doctor and learned none of them had experience with fertility. And, since I’m…special and can’t go to a regular doctor, I realized someone had to step up to fill the role. Who better than me? Both my parents are doctors, and I love kids. If for some reason I never get to have my own, maybe I can end up helping others. Especially my sister Payals.” Her eyes flashed my way. “Like you.”

I didn’t want her to feel insulted, because there was nothing wrong with the way she was, but that didn’t mean I wanted to belong to the Descendants of A-hole Chaam Club. “How do you know I’m like…you?”

She made a little shrugged. “I just do. But you don’t have to take my word.”

“Is that why we’re going to Camp Uchi?”

“Ah!” Her index finger shot up. “Now that is an excellent question. But you’ll need to remain in suspense for another ten minutes.”

***

Although it was a moonless night, I could see that Camp Uchi was no military base. It was an enormous five-star desert retreat. Tuscan-style fountains with colorful lights, elaborate cactus gardens with exotic flowers, and Southwestern-style adobe casitas were scattered around the grounds. Tiki torches lit the way to large clearings with inviting fires that glowed under the star-covered Arizona night sky. “This isn’t what I imagined.”

“Nothing about their world ever is,” Emma spouted while I trailed behind her. It appeared we were heading toward a large domed structure. “Tomorrow I’ll show you the underground mall. They have Manolo and Jimmy Choo—friends of the family.”

She then stopped and eyed my clunky boots, which were all I’d brought. “And a few stores for the wildly unfeminine—if that’s your thing, which I’m hoping it’s not. ’Cause I could use a really good shopping buddy and Army Surplus isn’t really my style. Have you ever had a fashion makeover, Penelope? I’m really great with hair and makeup. Don’t get me wrong. The natural look is so…natural, but I could do wonders with that face of yours. You have great bone structure. And I bet you’re hiding a rockin’ body under those jeans and T-shirt.”

“I—I…well, I…” She really wanted to talk about dressing me up and making me over? I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or poke her in the eye. “Not to be rude, but could we…” I glanced at the door.