Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Accidentally Yours #3)(52)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

The other gods gasped at my insult. Except for the suicide lady. She snickered.

“Penelope,” Kinich scolded. “Go back to my room. We will discuss this in private.”

“Wait,” I said. “You’re not agreeing with her? I can’t lead your summit.”

“Penelope. I do not have time to explain all of our laws. But Fate has spoken, and you will simply have to trust me; no one, not even I, tempts Fate. We all learned that lesson long, long ago.”

Um…okay. Wasn’t that whole “tempting fate” thing supposed to be meant figuratively? In any case, I was so, so out of my league arguing with this bunch, and I knew it.

“Fine, goddammit. I’ll do it.”

“Knew ya would,” I heard Fate snort as I stomped away, accepting defeat with about as much grace as a two-legged pit bull.

When I reached Kinich’s room, a few of the gods—I wasn’t sure how they’d gotten there so fast—were already outside in the pool guzzling wine and doing cannonballs. Of course, they were completely naked. Except for the god they called Belch, the already drunk one. He wore a leopard bikini that accentuated his beer belly. Ironically, though, he was still pretty good-looking. Must be a god thing.

I shook my head and drew the curtains. Could this situation possibly get any weirder?

The answer to my question, I’d soon discover, was yes. Absolutely.

CHAPTER 29

Step by step, Kinich walked me through each god—names, personality quirks, relative rank, and powers. Each deity was known for something special, a unique gift, but had a variety of abilities. Now, why a god would need the gift of balancing a spoon on his nose—Belch—producing a yodel that could be heard for fifty miles—Fate—or sniffing out the best price on anything, at any time, in any hemisphere—Cimil—was beyond me. It did, however, account for why many civilizations believed in a multitude of deities when in actuality there were fourteen.

And thank goodness for that. As it was, I would never keep their names straight. Aside from Cimil, Guy, Kinich, Chaam (the evil brother now locked inside a pyramid), Zac (the hunky god in black I’d just met), Camaxtli (Fate), and Acan, the God of Wine and Intoxication (aka Blech); there was Ixtab, the Goddess of Suicide (aka dead rat lady); Akna, Goddess of Fertility (going to stay far, far away from her); Ah-Ciliz, the God of Eclipses, and Colel Cab, Mistress of Bees (that explained why she gave me honey and had a hive on her head). And last but not least…K’ak. Apparently, his full name meant “Smoking Squirrel.” And aside from being able to summon bolts of lightning, no one really knew what he did—though his name seemed like a gift all its own, as did his fashion sense. (He was the one with the ankle-length hair and the giant headdress.)

Those were merely the gods I could remember, but there were several more, including the Goddess of Forgetfulness (who Kinich said I’d never remember because no one did).

Next, Kinich tackled the topic of summit protocol. The agenda had to be set at the beginning of the meeting. This was law. Otherwise, keeping order was like herding cats on crack—not grack—with itchy dermatitis.

Other than that, discussion items could be nominated by any deity but added only with a majority vote. Once a vote was taken, they were recorded—carved into stone. Literally.

“So, what about finding my mother? Where does she fit in the agenda?”

“Guy will ask to have his recent findings added to the agenda; I am certain everyone will agree to this. After he imparts the information, you will move for Call to Action.”

“If they turn me down?”

“Not likely; we are gods. Our sole purpose is to care for humans.”

“What about you? We have to find a way to save you.”

Kinich became quiet for several moments. “I am certain my…situation will not go without discussion. But I assure you, I am not suffering. Being here is not so dissimilar from my disembodied natural state.”

“You mean, when you’re back home?”

“Yes.”

That statement gave me a jolt. When I thought of Kinich, I thought of a man. One I desired with every girly part of my girly body. Lean, tightly packed muscles, broad shoulders, and ripped abs. So, to imagine this fine specimen of sexual prowess without his physical form perturbed me.

“What do you look like when you’re ‘home’?”

“I am without form. In my realm, I simply exist. Reduced to thoughts, but able to see anything I wish with my mind and still able to manipulate the energy in the physical world.”

“Really? So you can make the sun shine or do that voice thing to people from there?”

“Yes. In fact, my powers are far easier to use when I’m home. Here we are limited by our bodies. They contain us. They require massive amounts of energy to control and move.

“There, at home, we feel no physical sensations, no heat, cold, or pain. One doesn’t need to breathe or sleep.”

What an odd existence. No eating to worry about. No jeans to squeeze into. No watching your body grow old or having to stop each day to sleep. “Sounds good to me.”

“It is neither good nor bad. It is simply…different.” He paused for several moments. “Penelope, there is something I wish to tell you.”

I swallowed. “Please, don’t let it be bad news.” I suddenly felt tired again. I needed to lie down.

I stretched across Kinich’s large bed next to his—okay, this is getting really creepy—body. “Are you sure your physical form is still alive?”

“Yes. It has not been damaged, it simply lacks my soul or any of my divine light.”

Good. Because that body, even in its slumbering state, was phenomenal. I had lots of unfinished business to conduct with it.

Do you love him for his body, Pen? Come on.

No, I love…him.

“So if it were to die, you would be fine?” I asked.

“I believe so, yes.”

“And if I died?” I asked. “What would happen to you? Would you go back to that cenote thing?”

“This is, in fact, what I wish to discuss with you.”

“What?” I asked.

“Given our current situation, I would like to petition for your immortality tomorrow.”

Huh? “Huh?”

“Penelope, I—I…”

There was a long, awkward pause. “My feelings for you remain…complicated. I desire you. I have never desired anything in my seventy thousand years of existence, apart from my freedom, but I want there to be no confusion around the topic. I propose this solution because I fear for you. I wish for you to be safe, and in your current form, it will not be easy. Not when you have Maaskab after you.”