Twenties Girl (Page 36)
- Page 1
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 149
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 150
- Page 150
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 151
- Page 151
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 152
- Page 152
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 153
- Page 153
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 154
- Page 154
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 155
- Page 155
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 156
- Page 156
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 157
- Page 157
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 158
- Page 158
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 159
- Page 159
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 160
- Page 160
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 161
- Page 161
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 162
- Page 162
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 163
- Page 163
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 164
- Page 164
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 165
- Page 165
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 166
- Page 166
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 167
- Page 167
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 168
- Page 168
- Page 168
Twenties Girl(36)
Author: Sophie Kinsella
“Tally-ho?” I can’t keep the scorn out of my voice. “That’s your attitude toward men? Tally-ho?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“What about proper balanced relationships? What about commitment?”
Sadie looks baffled. “Why do you keep talking about commitment? Do you mean being committed to a mental asylum?”
“No!” I try to keep my patience. “I mean… Look, were you ever married?”
Sadie shrugs. “I was married for a spell. We had too many arguments. So wearing, and one begins to wonder why one ever liked the chap in the first place. So I left him. I went abroad, to the Orient. That was in 1933. He divorced me during the war. Cited me for adultery,” she adds gaily, “but everyone was too distracted to think about the scandal by then.”
In the kitchen, the oven pings to tell me my lasagna’s ready. I wander through, my head buzzing with all this new information. Sadie was divorced. She played around. She lived in “the Orient,” wherever that’s supposed to be.
“D’you mean Asia?” I hoick out my lasagna and tip some salad onto my plate. “Because that’s what we call it these days. And, by the way, we work at our relationships.”
“Work?” Sadie appears beside me, wrinkling her nose. “That doesn’t sound like any fun. Maybe that’s why you broke up.”
“It isn’t!” I feel like slapping her, she’s so annoying. She doesn’t understand anything.
“Count On Us,” she reads off my lasagna packet. “What does that mean?”
“It means it’s low fat,” I say, a little reluctantly, expecting the usual lecture that Mum gives me about processed diet foods and how I’m a perfectly normal size and girls these days are far too obsessed about weight.
“Oh, you’re on a diet.” Sadie’s eyes light up. “You should do the Hollywood diet. You eat nothing but eight grapefruit a day, black coffee, and a hard-boiled egg. And plenty of cigarettes. I did it for a month and the weight fell off me. A girl in my village swore she took tapeworm pills,” she adds reminiscently. “But she wouldn’t tell us where she got them.”
I stare at her, feeling a bit revolted. “Tapeworms?”
“They gobble up all the food inside one, you know. Marvelous idea.”
I sit down and look at my lasagna, but I’m not hungry anymore. Partly because visions of tapeworms are now lodged in my mind. And partly because I haven’t talked about Josh so openly for ages. I feel all churned up and frustrated.
“If I could just talk to him.” I spear a piece of cucumber and stare at it miserably. “If I could just get inside his head. But he won’t accept my calls, he won’t meet up-”
“More talking?” Sadie looks appalled. “How are you going to forget him if you keep talking about him? Darling, when things go wrong in life, this is what you do.” She adopts a knowledgeable tone. “You lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail-and out you go.”
“It’s not as simple as that,” I say resentfully. “And I don’t want to forget about him. Some of us have hearts, you know. Some of us don’t give up on true love. Some of us…”
I suddenly notice Sadie’s eyes have closed and she’s humming again.
Trust me to get haunted by the flakiest ghost in the world. One minute shrieking in my ear, the next making outrageous comments, the next spying on my neighbors… I take a mouthful of lasagna and chew it crossly. I wonder what else she saw in my neighbors’ flats. Maybe I could get her to spy on that guy upstairs when he’s making a racket, see what he’s actually doing-
Wait.
Oh my God.
I nearly choke on my food. With no warning, a new idea has flashed into my mind. A fully formed, totally brilliant plan. The plan that will solve everything.
Sadie could spy on Josh .
She could get into his flat. She could listen to his conversations. She could find out what he thinks about everything and tell me, and somehow I could work out what the problem is between us and solve it.
This is the answer. This is it. This is why she was sent to me.
“Sadie!” I leap to my feet, powered by a kind of giddy adrenaline. “I’ve worked it out! I know why you’re here! It’s to get me and Josh back together!”
“No, it’s not,” Sadie objects at once. “It’s to get my necklace.”
“You can’t be here just for some crummy old necklace.” I make a brushing-aside gesture. “Maybe the real reason is you’re supposed to help me! That’s why you were sent!”
- Page 1
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 149
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 150
- Page 150
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 151
- Page 151
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 152
- Page 152
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 153
- Page 153
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 154
- Page 154
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 155
- Page 155
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 156
- Page 156
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 157
- Page 157
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 158
- Page 158
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 159
- Page 159
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 160
- Page 160
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 161
- Page 161
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 162
- Page 162
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 163
- Page 163
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 164
- Page 164
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 165
- Page 165
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 166
- Page 166
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 167
- Page 167
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 168
- Page 168
- Page 168