Wedding Night (Page 69)
- Page 1
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 30
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 31
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 32
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 33
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 34
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 35
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 36
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 37
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 38
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 39
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 149
- Page 149
Wedding Night(69)
Author: Sophie Kinsella
“On the website, it shows a super-king bed,” Ben takes over. “I saw a picture of it. Where’s that gone?”
Nico looks baffled at the question. “We offer many different sleeping options for the suite. The previous occupants of the suite must have ordered two beds, such as you see. They are two very fine beds.” He slaps one. “Finest quality. Is this not satisfactory?”
“No, it’s not bloody satisfactory!” snaps Ben. “We need a double bed. One bed. Super-king. Best you’ve got.”
“Ah.” Nico pulls a regretful face. “A thousand apologies, sir. I am desolated. Since this was not ordered in advance—”
“We shouldn’t have to order it in advance! It’s our honeymoon! This is the honeymoon suite!” Ben’s breathing hard. “What kind of honeymoon suite has two single beds in it?”
“Please, sir. Do not alarm yourself,” says Nico soothingly. “I understand. I will order a double bed immediately.” He takes out his phone and launches into a stream of Greek. At last he switches off and beams again. “The matter is in hand. Again, my apologies. While we are sorting out this problem, may I offer you a complimentary cocktail downstairs at the bar?”
I quell a snappy reply. I don’t want a cocktail at the bar. I want my wedding night. Now.
“Well, how long is it going to take?” Ben scowls. “This is ridiculous.”
“Sir, we will complete the substitution as quickly as possible. The removers will be with us as soon as— Ah!” There’s a knocking sound at the door, and Nico brightens. “Here we are!”
Six guys in white overalls troop into the room, and Nico addresses them in Greek. One guy lifts up the end of a bed and looks at it doubtfully. He says something in Greek to another guy, who shrugs and shakes his head.
“What?” says Ben in agitated tones, looking from one to the other. “What’s the problem?”
“No problem,” says Nico reassuringly. “Perhaps I could recommend that you take a seat in your sitting room while we address this small matter?”
He ushers us out and we find ourselves in the sitting room. The TV is still playing Teletubbies at full volume. I jab at it with the remote, but it doesn’t switch off. Nor does the volume control work. Is the remote out of juice?
“Please,” I say shortly. “I can’t stand this. Could you turn it off?”
“And it’s cold in here,” adds Ben. “How do we adjust the air-conditioning?”
It is pretty freezing in here. I’d already noticed.
“I will summon your butler,” says Nico with a beam. “He will attend to you.”
He disappears out the door and I look at Ben in disbelief. We should have been having sex by now. We should have been having the hottest time of our life. Not sitting on a sofa with “Time for Tubby Bye-Bye” blaring at us, in a subzero room with six workmen next door.
“Come on,” says Ben suddenly. “The library. That’s got a sofa.”
He hustles me in there and shuts the door. There are shelves of fake-looking books and a desk with hotel writing paper and a chaise longue upholstered in heavy brown linen. Ben shuts the door and faces me.
“Oh my God,” he exhales incredulously.
“Oh my God.” I echo. “Insane.” We both draw breath. And then it’s as if the starting pistol has been fired for the Most Erogenous Zones in a Minute contest. He’s all over me. I’m all over him. His hands are everywhere. My bra is unhooked, my top is ripped off, and I’m unbuttoning his shirt.… His skin is so warm, so delicious, I want to savor him for a bit, but Ben’s already looking purposefully around the room.
“Sofa?” he pants. “Or desk?”
“Don’t care,” I manage.
“I can’t wait any longer.”
“What if they hear?”
“They won’t hear.” He’s unhooking my skirt. I’m almost popping. At last, at last, at last … yes … yes …
“Sir? Madame?” There’s a rapping at the door. “Sir, madame? Mr. Parr?”
What?
“Noooo,” I whimper. “Noooooo …”
“What the fuck—” Ben looks livid. “Hello?” he raises his voice. “We’re busy. Come back in ten.”
“I have a gift from the management,” comes a voice through the door. “Fresh cookies. Where would you like me to put it?”
“Anywhere,” Ben calls back impatiently. “Don’t care.”
“Please, sir, could you kindly sign for the gift?”
- Page 1
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 30
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 31
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 32
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 33
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 34
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 35
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 36
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 37
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 38
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 39
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 149
- Page 149