Dangerous Exes (Page 38)

“I’m not going to be responsible for killing your Goo-Poh! You can’t just drop that kind of bomb on an eighty-year-old woman!”

“You can! You will!” she whispered harshly. “You just get up and say, Hey, I don’t have swimmers! Or My swimmers can’t make it.”

“My swimmers damn well make it every time and you fucking know it!”

“Can this not,” she hissed, “be about your penis, just for once? Can this be about not getting deeper into the shit we created?”

“I’m not making this about my penis, you’re making it about my penis! And we’re in shit because Blaire opened her big fat mouth!”

“Don’t bring Blaire into this—”

“Here we are!” Goo-Poh was back.

With a bag.

A giant bag full of smaller bags.

Oh God, I was leaving with drugs.

“Now”—she dumped them onto the table—“everything is labeled wrong, so you’ll need a code.” She pulled a highlighted sheet of paper from her pocket.

Isla covered her face with her hands.

“Blue is the nickname, pink is the real contents. Easy!”

“And you do this with the wrong labels because?”

She scoffed. “It’s not like a man to pick up a plastic bag that says Erection and go, I should make that tea right now!” She laughed.

I didn’t.

“Though it’s not wise to drink all the tea.” She winked.

“Noted,” I said tersely. “I’ll be sure to be more careful next time.”

I was setting that bag on fire.

Goo-Poh sat with her hands in her lap. “Now that’s taken care of, where am I planning the wedding?”

“Oh, Goo-Poh.” Isla looked uncomfortable. “Remember it’s not real, this marriage isn’t—”

Goo-Poh spat on the floor, then raised a hand and said something in Chinese. “Young lady, you will not bring shame on the family. You will marry this nice young man with his big muscles. You will have many babies. You will have a fertile womb. And you will do it next week, during the even days.”

It was my turn to panic.

We’d never planned on going through with it, but she was so excited, beaming actually, and to backtrack now? Admit we lied? Admit everything after seeing her excitement? I didn’t know what to say, what to do.

“Now, we should discuss the meal.”

I struggled for words.

I had none.

Isla looked at me for help but I’d already screwed us, hadn’t I?

“The, um, meal,” Isla gulped. “Naturally you’ll be in charge of everything.”

Goo-Poh patted Isla’s thigh. “Good girl.” She grabbed Isla’s face with both hands. “Now we eat, you look too skinny.”

And with that, she got up and walked into the small kitchen.

“Yesterday I was too fat.” Isla slumped. “What are we going to do?”

I said the only thing I knew we could do.

“Eat.”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

ISLA

I was surprised I wasn’t hyperventilating. Nothing was going as planned. We’d had a plan and not just deviated from it, but gone over a hundred miles an hour in the opposite direction.

Blaire just had to open her big mouth.

Granted, at least we got Vanessa’s confession.

But now I wasn’t just getting married to Jessie Beckett—and soon—I was giving my Goo-Poh free rein for the prewedding meal, and I wasn’t even allowed to drink because I was pregnant.

I touched my stomach.

“It happens.” Goo-Poh motioned to my hand. “When the blessing is beginning to grow.”

I quickly dropped my hand while Jessie’s face paled next to me.

The problem was that we’d had sex while my aunt prayed.

Yes, I was on the Pill.

But I wasn’t stupid, I knew that things could still slip through.

Powerful things.

Things from that giant delicious man who kept trying to eat his rice with chopsticks even though he was worse than a toddler.

I finally took pity on him and grabbed him a fork.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Naturally we will invite the whole family,” Goo-Poh said between bites. “I think the community center would be a lovely place, it can house the most people.

“For a wedding?” Jessie interjected.

“No, no, for the reception after the ceremony. The wedding, of course, will be a combination of your traditions and ours.” She grinned at Jessie. “Though there is one that I refuse to back down from.”

“Only one?” Jessie said in a shocked voice. I elbowed him in the ribs.

“The delivery of the bridal bed.” Goo-Poh clapped her hands together. “It is one of the most important parts of the premarriage ceremony, it must take place on an even month and date, and since next month is March we must do it this month. Tomorrow is the eighteenth, that means we are at a two and eighteen, both lucky numbers. We will deliver the bed at six a.m.”

“We?” Jessie choked on a piece of rice.

“I am considered a wise woman, I will be present for the delivery and blessing.” She grinned to herself. “And that means we must have the wedding exactly ten days later. I know a good church and can get us a good deal on Chinese invitations, none of that boring white and flowers, we want something sacred. They will be red.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” Jessie said under his breath, making my heart beat a bit faster as he reached across and squeezed my hand.

“See?” Goo-Poh pointed to our joined hands. “Already you are glowing with excitement!”

“I’m glowing with something,” I said through clenched teeth while Jessie squeezed my hand tighter.

“Oh!” Goo-Poh touched her face with her hands. “How could I forget? You need your rest. Have your man take you home and you sleep. When you wake up don’t forget to drink more tea, it will make your bones strong!”

“Isn’t that milk?” Jessie said out of the corner of his mouth.

I glared and then kissed Goo-Poh on both cheeks. It was rare to show that much emotion, but she’d practically raised me, and since I was only half Chinese, I told myself it was okay to forgo some of the more crazy beliefs, like the one that said we do not hug or touch or encourage.

We feed our children.

They grow and have families.

Then they feed their families.

Our world revolved around blessings and eating.

But touching? Not so much.

Jessie bent down and kissed Goo-Poh’s hand.

She shivered and then brought the same hand to his face and whispered in the most serious voice I’d ever heard, “You give me boys. Yes?”

“Yes,” Jessie replied right away. The man didn’t have a choice, it seemed, better he start researching how to do it than say, We’ll see and risk her wrath.

She slapped his cheek lightly twice. “Good man. I’m tired now, so are you. I’ll call you with more details about the bed.”

Jessie opened the door to find Stanley standing on the other side with a paper cross and tape midair.

“Were you about to knock?” Jessie asked.

“Knock?” Stanley sniffed. “I wouldn’t touch this woman’s door with a ten-foot pole.”

“And yet you do, Stanley, at least twice a day just to check.” I gave him a smile and grabbed Jessie just as Goo-Poh started spouting curses in Chinese.