Dangerous Exes (Page 40)

I refused to acknowledge my feelings in that moment.

Because I was afraid that hers weren’t the same.

Afraid I’d pushed the good away.

Made her leery of my intentions.

“I don’t want to destroy you,” I whispered against her mouth.

She sucked in an unsteady breath.

I just want to keep you.

That I kept for myself.

When I should have shared it with the one woman capable of giving me what I needed.

Chapter Forty

ISLA

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I laughed as Jessie picked up the Magic Eraser and showed me the proper way to clean a cupboard. “It’s like magic!”

“It’s the single best invention of all time.” He grinned and tossed it at me.

I was going to buy stock in those suckers.

We were both still covered in flour, but at least the dishes were done, the bread was in, and I think most of the flour was removed from the kitchen, though if I knew Jessie at all, he was probably going to do a second cleaning just to make sure.

I didn’t want to push him too far.

The hottest thing I’d ever seen was watching that man toss my dough to the ground and climb up on the counter. I would fan myself for years over that vision of him in flour.

I shivered.

“Shower.” He directed me to the master bath, not the bathroom I normally used. Something had shifted between us, I wasn’t sure if it was all the marriage talk, baby talk, or maybe just the simple fact that for now, we were stuck together.

He turned on the shower and grabbed another towel. He pulled off his sweats and walked over to me, then unzipped my dress, careful to pull my hair away from the zipper as he dropped the dress to the floor.

His eyes raked over me before he hung his head. “Damn.”

Flour covered his abs. I reached out and wiped some from one of the ridges and shrugged. “Not so bad yourself.”

He gripped my hand and pulled me into the large tiled walk-in shower. Water fell from the ceiling like a waterfall. I could live in that shower and be happy the rest of my life. I held my hands out wide and laughed.

“Ah, she likes getting dirty but being clean is better?” His mouth worked mine again before he started rubbing soap down my chest, arms, legs. I watched him wash me and nearly passed out when he reached between my legs.

“You have the best shower in the world,” I said, my eyes not leaving his.

He moved the soap up my inner thigh. “I’d say you give it a vast improvement by standing there.”

“Charmer.”

“Always, I just try to play hard to get.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re such a jackass?”

“Of course.” He laughed. “It makes you appreciate my kindness so much more, doesn’t it?”

“Bastard.”

“You don’t mean it.” He winked and then ran his hands through his hair before grabbing some shampoo, squeezing it into his hands, and motioning for me to turn around. “Let’s just hope this doesn’t make your hair fall out. On the bright side, you’d still be pretty with no hair, so I think we’re safe.”

His compliments were constant. Fast. Like he’d been keeping them all inside and finally felt the freedom to share them.

I gulped around the giant knot in my throat.

Not real. Not real.

But God, I wanted it to be, so bad.

I’d never had this.

The easy camaraderie that comes with knowing someone from the inside out, the flaws, the good, the bad, the ugly, and still wanting to joke with them and take showers with them. Still wanting them despite the bad, because in the end you complete each other. You make each other better.

A hollow ache expanded through my chest.

Because this would end.

I knew it.

Good things always did.

And when it did.

I was going to be devastated.

His hands worked against my skull and then he was washing the shampoo out and adding conditioner. I moaned when he started massaging my temples, and almost asked if I could take a nap with him doing just that when he was finished showering.

He quickly washed himself and then turned off the shower.

The towels were warm, fluffy, luxurious.

If this was how the other half lived, I wanted in.

I yawned behind my hand and was immediately scooped into his arms and placed in his bed.

His. Bed.

I didn’t show my panic.

Jessie picked up one of his white shirts and tugged it over my head, then grabbed a brush.

Why was he grabbing a brush?

Tears filled my eyes as he slowly brushed my hair out, careful to get every tangle. I thought we were done.

He grabbed a blow dryer. And like a pro, dried my hair.

I was so shocked I wasn’t sure how to respond.

We didn’t speak.

He didn’t seem agitated or bothered, just pulled the covers over my legs and kissed me on the forehead. “Sleep.”

“But—”

“Don’t do the thing.”

“What thing?”

“The thing where you write down everything about today then highlight the good parts, the confusing parts, the annoying parts, messy parts.” He grinned. “Isla, if today I was able to survive an explosion in my kitchen, you can handle not doing the thing and just letting this, whatever it is, be.”

I fell a little farther.

Harder.

He leaned forward and kissed my mouth then walked out of the room.

It wasn’t until I was almost asleep that I realized why everything had been so normal.

Jessie wasn’t a psycho control freak because he was a psycho control freak and loved the color white.

He’d just reverted to what he could control when his wife didn’t allow him to take care of her.

To love her.

He controlled what he knew he could.

I hated her more.

Wanted to destroy her.

Because she’d done something worse than rejecting his love.

She’d broken his spirit.

And damn her if she thought I wasn’t going to do everything in my power to give it back.

Chapter Forty-One

JESSIE

She was asleep in minutes.

My back was against the wall. I inched down, hanging my head. What the hell was I doing?

I wanted her to stay.

I wanted . . . God, I wanted it to be real.

I wanted to tuck her in bed at night. Kiss her as she fell asleep.

I was losing my mind.

Or maybe I was finally making sense. Whatever it was, this feeling of satisfaction and excitement in my chest, I didn’t want to let it go.

Hands shaking, I grabbed my phone and sent Danica another text.

That was five texts and three phone calls.

All of which she’d ignored.

She’d signed a damn NDA, so she wouldn’t go to the press, but I never said anything about going to Isla about it.

Shit.

Why did it feel like whenever I got close to something good I messed it up?

Because that’s what Isla was. Good. So damn good.

Every little quirk about her made me want her more, rather than send me running for the hills.

I actually liked her messy side more than her controlling side. What shocked me most? That I was able to have sex without cleaning the kitchen before.

I chuckled to myself and shook my head. Things were changing. Now that Vanessa was out of the picture, I was going to change.

I had no choice but to move forward.

I just hoped Isla would join me for the ride.

Chapter Forty-Two

ISLA

Goo-Poh was calling at four a.m.

I was going to murder her.

Jessie was asleep next to me, so warm, so big.