Hold On (Page 139)

“She’s a good woman.”

“Know Cher,” Dave returned on a firm nod. “Know that. Know she’s got a good kid and Ethan’s good ’cause he’s got a good mom. Just glad you finally got your head outta your ass, seein’ as every time she got anywhere near you, she ratcheted up the tough broad, smartass, cute routine with the sole purpose of makin’ you smile at the same time hidin’ she was doin’ it ’cause you caught hold of her heart.”

At his dad’s words, his heart clenched.

He didn’t know that.

Or, more accurately, he hadn’t noticed that.

The Merricks were about family loyalty and being nuts, managing to do those closed off emotionally, which was only part of them being nuts. But Dave was an ex-cop. So not for a second did Garrett doubt what his dad was saying about Cher was true.

“No shit?” he asked quietly.

“This would be the part where my son’s head was up his ass, you didn’t notice. Think probably the whole ’burg did. But you didn’t.”

Fuck.

“No one said anything,” he noted.

“Boy, Cher’s had it bad for you for years. Don’t know why no one else said anything. Just know why I didn’t. And I woulda said somethin’ if I thought you were in the place to do somethin’ about it without breakin’ her. But I thought you were still tied up in Mia.” Another lip quirk before he lifted his coffee mug in a pseudo-toast Garrett’s way. “Seein’ as you’re not, I’ll repeat, I’m glad you finally got your head outta your ass.”

“Things have not gone smoothly with Cher, and Mia’s only part of that,” Garrett shared.

Dave shook his head knowingly. “Things that’re worth it never do. You got a woman where it goes smooth, you get rid of her. There’s no passion in smooth. There’s no challenge in smooth. You got smooth, that mean’s she’s bustin’ her ass so you can sail along without a hitch in the road, which in turns means she’s all about lookin’ after you rather than gettin’ what she needs out of the deal. Man’s no man at all, he doesn’t meet his woman’s needs. Woman’s no woman at all, she doesn’t got it in her to look after gettin’ what she needs. That might not make sense to you until you live it, so I’ll just boil this down, son. Smooth is boring.”

Garrett grinned at his dad. “I wouldn’t know. Not sure I’ve ever had smooth.”

His dad shook his head again. “Rough road you’ve been travelin’ wasn’t about that. Journey you took with Mia…” He kept shaking his head as he trailed off, then he grinned back. “But a woman who throws down in a bar full of people when she hears your five foot three ex shoved you, that’s the good kind of bumpy.”

Garrett hadn’t heard that. “Cher threw down with Mia because she shoved me?”

“Oh yeah.”

It was then, Garrett shook his head but he did it still grinning.

“Lucky for you, you’ve already proved you’re a hardass, so Cher defendin’ you at J&J’s isn’t a hit to your cred,” his dad teased.

“She thinks she’s the ’burg’s tough chick,” Garrett told him.

“She’s not wrong. Then again, life is life, so in this town, she’s got a lot of company.”

It felt good to know his old man liked Cher.

But he had to get to work and he had something he needed to get from his father, so he had to get down to it.

“I’m dreamin’ about her, Dad,” Garrett shared.

Dave’s grin turned to a smile. “Now, son, not sure your old man is up for hearin’ detail on that.”

“No,” he said low. “I’m dreamin’ her dead.”

Dave straightened. He paled. And he shut his mouth.

Garrett straightened too. “Now is not the time to close down on me. I thought I had this mess in my head like Rocky had it in hers—worried, me bein’ the man in the situation, the cop, that someone I loved would lose me like she worried Tanner’s occupation would take him from her. She was there when what happened to Mom happened, so her mess was compounded by guilt she wasn’t able to stop it.”

When he mentioned his mom, he saw his father’s mouth get tight.

But he didn’t quit.

“I’m seein’ from these dreams I’m not worried someone will lose me. I’m worried somethin’ I do will put Cher in danger.”

“Like I did to your mother,” Dave forced through tight lips.

“Like what happened to Mom,” Garrett returned. “You didn’t do it to her. It happened to her.”

“Because of what I did.”

“Because of what was happening,” Garrett said firmly. “You didn’t do dick, Dad. Except your job.”

Dave stared at him, then shifted irritably in his chair. “You wanna tell me why you’re here, goin’ over this with me?”

Garrett stared back at his dad, not believing he even asked such a fucked-up question after what had happened when Rocky broke down and Tanner justifiably lost his mind on both his and his father’s asses.

Then he said, “Thought that was obvious. I’m here because I’m fallin’ in love with a good woman and I wanna hold on this time. She’s got a kid, a kid I’m fallin’ in love with right alongside her. And she wants more kids, Dad. My kids. Unlike Rocky when she was twenty-one years old and she blocked Tanner from her life, not mature enough to deal with all the shit screwing with her head, I’m forty-two and realize I have issues. So I need to find the tools to deal with them so I can make my woman and her son happy. Not tear them apart.”