Hold On (Page 72)

“Cool,” Ethan said softly, clearly not sure how to play this because my tone was crisp and informative and not much else.

“I’ll tell you that I’m glad me and Merry got the chance to talk, because I like him. I like that you like him. He’s a good guy, and if things go okay, he’d be good for us. I’m a little bit scared of that, but I’m gonna give it a shot.”

“I’m glad, Mom.”

“What I don’t like,” I kept talking like he didn’t, “is my son invading my privacy.”

He leaned slightly toward me and started, “Mom—”

“No, son, listen. Don’t talk,” I said gently, but the tone was a mom tone that I didn’t pull out very often because I didn’t have to. I didn’t think I’d used it in the last year. It could even be two.

He was getting it now.

“What you need to get from this discussion is that what you did might have led to good things, but it also might have led to bad things. It might have put your mom in a super uncomfortable situation with someone who means a lot to her. You had no idea what was goin’ on. Merry and me are friends, and part of me bein’ scared about startin’ somethin’ with him is because that friendship means a lot to me. That gets messed up, it’s gonna hurt. You coulda messed that up at the get-go, not knowin’ what was happening and doing what you did.”

“But you and Merry—”

I nodded. “We talked it out. It’s all good and that’s important for you to know too so you don’t beat yourself up about it too much. But I’m tellin’ you now, you’re almost eleven. In a few years, you’re gonna have things in your life you wanna keep private. I figure then you’ll look back at this and think about me bein’ in your business and you’ll get what you did is how it is. I’m gonna give you your privacy because I trust you and I trust you to do right. But nothin’ is gonna erase the fact you invaded mine. It’s gonna sting, kid, when you look back at it. Don’t let it sting too much, but learn from it.”

He bit his lip, eyes big and again shining, and I worried he’d lose it, so I had to keep going so he wouldn’t do that.

“Now, like what happened with our neighbor when you did what I asked you not to do, this is the same. There’s a lesson to be learned, Ethan, and all I want from this is that you learn it. But this is bigger than that. See, you aren’t gettin’ your own phone until you’re at least thirteen. But you need to use my phone sometimes, and I don’t wanna be givin’ you passwords and changin’ ’em only to have to give them to you again and change them ’cause I can’t trust you. So, even though you did somethin’ untrustworthy, I still gotta trust you. Which means I gotta make sure my point is made and you get how big this is. So, sorry, kid, but for the next two weeks, you got cleaning the bathroom and mopping the kitchen floor duty and you’re not gonna get paid ten dollars when you do it.”

He slouched back into the couch.

“You also keep the kitchen clean and the house picked up, all by yourself. I’ll talk with your gram so she knows when she’s around to leave you to that. You just got two weeks of it and then you’re back to getting an allowance, you do more than your chores. But just need to hammer home you did wrong so you’ll have a few times cleaning the bathroom and doin’ the dishes on your own to think on that. Okay?”

“Okay, Mom,” he forced out, sounding like it was not okay but definitely getting my message.

“Okay,” I mumbled, happy that was over because, even if it had to be done, these were also the kinds of times when being a mom sucked.

I was about to push up but Ethan speaking stopped me.

“You told me you two weren’t together,” he said in a way that was like an accusation.

“Honey, straight up, I’m your mom and some stuff is just not your business, and that doesn’t have anything to do with you bein’ a kid and me bein’ grown up. It’s just not your business. But I’ll tell you, at that point, I didn’t lie. Things were kinda changin’ between Merry and me and both of us wanted it, but I was tryin’ to put a stop to it because I got more than just me to look after. Merry broke through and that was partly to do with what you did with those texts and partly to do with what you said to me the other night. But that doesn’t make what you did right.”

“Okay, then, you told me that Merry was hung up on his old wife. That was, like, a week ago or somethin’. How is he tryin’ to be with you when he’s into someone else?”

Shit, I did tell him that.

And, shit again, Ethan had been thinking on things.

And, more shit, he’d put things together in his little man way.

And the worst of that shit, I had the same question.

“And don’t say that’s not my business,” Ethan continued, “because I like Merry and I’m guessin’ you know that since I sent those texts. But now you’re goin’ on a date with him and you said that to me, and I gotta know my mom’s goin’ out with a guy who’s into her, not some other lady.”

“That’s part of what we talked through today.” I drew in a deep breath and hoped I was giving him the truth, a hope I had for him and for me. “He took time to have a think on things to know where his head was at, and he realized his head was with me. So that’s why I’m goin’ out with him tomorrow, because I like him more than just friends and I believe him when he says he wants to be with me.”