Hold On (Page 47)

So I spent my afternoon yanking out dead bedding plants, turning mulch into the earth so it’d be ready to give me the goodness come spring, and planting fall mums in my pots and hanging basket.

But even with this innocent activity, life demonstrated how it could suck when I was almost done with the hanging basket (which meant I’d be all done) and I felt a nasty feeling glide up the back of my neck.

I looked left and saw my dickhead neighbor standing beside his mailbox at the street, letters in his hand, tattered jeans on his legs, skintight thermal on his torso, the makings of a beer belly straining the middle, his eyes on me.

He had his head tipped to the side, and I had enough experience to know, as I bent over my stoop to plant mums in the hanging basket, his attention was on my ass.

He must have felt my gaze because his head straightened, I saw the grin hit his face, and he lifted his hand to wave.

“Yo!” he called.

Shit, fuck, shit, shit, fuck.

I nodded to him, turned from him, pressed the dirt around the new plants, then hefted up the basket, walked up the steps, and lifted it to its holder.

I set it dangling, and without looking back, I walked into my house.

I still had cleanup, discarded plastic containers to toss, tools to clean and put up for the winter.

I’d do it later when the coast was clear.

But, being me—the way I looked, what I was—I knew, even having escaped, I’d just hit dickhead radar.

* * * * *

“To your left!” Ethan shouted.

I looked left, then I shot the shit out of the enemy.

“Good one. Okay, let’s go over to that building over there,” Ethan suggested.

“Lead the way, kid,” I muttered.

We were on our couch. The remains of the frozen pizza, which had been our dinner, mingled with two tubes of Pringles and an open bag of super M&M’s (a gift from the M&M gods—three times the chocolate in every piece) littering the coffee table in front of us.

It was after dinner and my kid and I were doing what my kid and I did a lot.

Playing a video game.

I followed my son’s character around a building, we came under fire, we kicked ass, clearing the space, then I followed him through a deserted marketplace, keeping vigilant.

My vigilance took a hit when Ethan, hands clicking on his controller, eyes to the TV, asked offhandedly, “So, is Merry your boyfriend now?”

Fuck.

I still needed to have the talk with my son about his dad and Peggy. I was procrastinating, but I intended to do it before he went to bed (or, at least, I was telling myself I intended to do it before he went to bed).

However, I had hoped that he’d let the Merry thing slide.

As ever, my hopes screwed me.

“No, kid,” I said carefully. “He just got tweaked that guy was in our ’hood. Your mom and Merry are just friends.”

All right. Good. I got that out and none of it was a lie (ish).

“He was tweaked, so he spent the night?”

Fuck.

“Well, yeah,” I said, going for casual and thinking I was pulling it off. “He likes us. He just wanted to make sure we were all right.”

“By spending the night?”

God.

Maybe it wasn’t good my kid was sharp.

I hit pause on the game and looked to my boy.

He looked to me.

“Yeah, Ethan,” I told him quietly. “He likes us a whole lot. It freaked him out that guy was in our neighborhood. There are men out there who don’t like the idea of a woman alone with her kid with no man lookin’ after them.” I grinned at him. “We got ourselves covered, but Merry’s that kind of man, you know?”

He nodded.

“Sorry it went down like that this morning,” I told him. “Merry probably freaked you by wakin’ you up. But he was tryin’ to do your mom a solid, lettin’ me sleep.”

“He did the right thing,” Ethan declared. “You don’t get enough sleep, Mom.”

And maybe it wasn’t good my kid was so sweet. It made capping the gooey at one hit a week nearly impossible.

“And it sucks that Merry lookin’ out for us and holdin’ your hand and stuff doesn’t mean he’s your boyfriend,” Ethan stated. “He’s super cool. He’s almost as cool as Colt.”

And there it was again.

Ethan liked Merry, but more, Ethan liked Merry for me.

Honestly, there would never be a way to decipher the many varieties of how my life sucked. The suckage of my life was like pi—it went on endlessly.

“Yeah,” was all I could say, because my son was right.

Ethan stared at me.

Then, without warning, he leveled me.

“You need a boyfriend.”

I did a slow blink with the addition of a head jerk.

“It’s, like…totally crazy you don’t already have one,” Ethan continued. “All my friends think so and I do too.”

“Uh…” I pushed out, but Ethan was far from done.

“You’re, like, the coolest mom on the planet. I have to dole out sleepovers ’cause all the guys wanna come over here.” He gestured to the TV with his controller. “They can’t believe you play video games with me. Brendon’s mom only lets him play video games for half an hour a day. That’s totally crazy. And she’d never play with him. No way.”

“Perhaps she doesn’t have your momma’s awesome eye–hand coordination,” I teased, lifting the controller in my hands.

“No. She’s just got a stick up her butt,” Ethan returned.

“Kid,” I said quietly, liking he was sweet and sharp but not ever wanting him to be nasty. “Be cool.”