Hold On (Page 20)

I spoke.

“To fight her, I’ll need to call on Colt. Again. Feb. Again. Jack and Jackie. Again. I’ll need to explain again why I was taken in by Lowe. More will go down, askin’ good people who look out for me to keep doin’ it, all this takin’ money I can’t afford to fight it. But the bottom line is, Ethan’ll be dragged through it. The Denny Lowe shit will resurface. Ethan might get it at school. He might lose friends. And straight up, my history is such a big pile of stinking crap, Colt could convince the president to come and stand as a character witness to my mothering skills and I’d still lose my kid. So yeah, Merry, I know I got friends. I know people will look out for me. I know you’re one of ’em. But that does not mean I am not still very, very alone.”

“Come here, Cher,” he whispered, and I could see it, hear it, goddamned fucking feel it.

He wanted to comfort me. Put his arms around me and make it all better.

He had the power to do that.

He just would never use it because he didn’t really want it.

“No,” I said firmly, the poison activating, my insides melting, the pain extreme.

His head jerked and his gaze grew intense.

I continued talking.

“You don’t get that,” I told him. “You came here to get me to go to Frank’s so you could tell me what went down with us was just a drunken fuck, no more. We don’t change. Am I right?”

He didn’t answer, so I answered for him.

“I’m right. So, you don’t wanna be that to me, you don’t get that.” I nodded my head. “I understand, the woman I am. I get it, Merry. No harm, no foul. But you don’t get to pick and choose how you are with me, who you are with me, what you get to give me. I do. So you don’t get that.”

He said nothing, just stared at me with an alertness that was a little hot but also a little freaky.

“Now, you tell anyone about this shit, we’re done,” I told him, and his alert went into overdrive, charging the room.

I ignored it.

“I mean that, Garrett,” I stated. “This is my business and I’ll deal with it the way I see fit. If I gotta call folks in, I’ll do it. You keep your mouth shut or what we got you wanna keep you’ll lose. I’m not jokin’ with you. I’m all kinds of serious.”

Finally, he spoke.

“The woman you are.”

“The woman I am,” I confirmed.

“What woman is that, Cher?” he asked.

Was he serious?

He’d said it his damned self to Colt.

Woman she is, she knows…

“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” I hissed.

“He played you,” Merry declared. “A million other women would have bought his shit the same as you.”

We were not doing this.

“Stop it,” I spat.

“Goddamned truth,” he pushed. “I know, babe, I’m in the business. Women buy shit like that all the time. The extremes may vary, but you are far from the only one.”

I couldn’t do this, and more, I wasn’t about to.

So I put a hand to my hip, cocked my head, and asked, “Shit, darlin’, two-for-one special? You give me five orgasms and heal all my emotional wounds? Shoulda signed up for that plan years ago.”

His mood deteriorated instantly.

“Don’t be a bitch,” he clipped.

“Don’t pretend you know fuck all about what’s goin’ on in my head,” I shot back.

“Maybe, you let the door to that fortress you built around you open an inch, I can get in and you’ll find I do know fuck all about what’s goin’ on in your head, I give a shit about you, and I wanna see you let it go and find yourself some happy.”

“That doesn’t happen for girls like me, Merry,” I told him.

“That’s bullshit, Cher,” he told me.

I jabbed my hand with the envelope at him. “You do not know what it’s like to live my life.”

“Open the door an inch, Cher. I get through, we’ll sit down and you can tell me.”

“Fuck that,” I snapped.

He rocked back on his heels, his eyes burning into mine, and murmured, “Right.”

Goddamn it!

It was time to end this, and at that moment, I didn’t care how much I was ending.

“You know, straight up, baby, I got a choice between Garrett Merrick, the guy I shoot the shit with, and Garrett Merrick, the man who gives phenomenal head, I pick door number two because you’re good with your mouth, but you’re better with your cock.”

No hesitation, he returned fire.

“You give it good too, sweetheart. Best I had in fuckin’ years. You’re ready to go again, you give me a call and I’m there.”

“Ethan’s next sleepover, or the next time I gotta eat shit and send him to my ex and his bitch, you’re on.”

“Find out you held out on me, after shift you’ll have a caller, and your mom can look after your boy while you’re takin’ my cock in my bed.”

“You’re on for that too.”

His eyes continued burning into mine as he rumbled, “I’m not fuckin’ with you, Cher.”

“Back at you, Garrett.”

“Then it’s on,” he announced.

“Oh yeah, baby. It’s on,” I agreed with enticing acid.

He lifted a finger my way and declared, “Then we got a deal. And you know how I deal, Cher. You know the man I am.” He dropped his hand. “You’re officially takin’ my cock, I officially take your back. I won’t say shit to anyone, but one goddamned thing happens with your ex and his bitch, you tell me. You don’t, we got problems.”