Insider (Exodus End #1)(145)
Author: Olivia Cunning

“If I can build a multimillion-dollar company, I’m sure I can figure out how to feed a few chickens,” Mom said.

Mom had left out the part about running that multimillion-dollar company into the ground. The chickens might not stand a chance.

“I’m here to help too,” Grandma reminded her. “You can have your own life, Toni, and still be there for Birdie.”

“And I do have a private jet at my disposal if you need to return in a hurry,” Logan said. “At least until we start touring Europe next month. You are coming with us, right?”

“I don’t even have a passport.” Why did she feel like everyone was trying to get rid of her? Or maybe they really did have her happiness in mind.

“You can get it before we leave if you put a rush order on it,” Logan said. “I’m sure Butch could line one up for you.”

Butch could probably line up a whole new identity for her if she needed one. “I don’t know.”

She wanted to be with Logan, wanted to finish the book, wanted to hang out with the band—assuming Reagan didn’t try to kill her—but what if she was gone and something dreadful happened to Birdie? Something even worse than her collapsing and discovering she needed a pacemaker implanted.

“Please go, Toni,” Birdie said. “I want to be an aunt. So you need to have a baby. I like babies.”

Logan’s comforting arm dropped from Toni’s shoulders, and he swiveled his head to gawk at her. He probably thought Toni had put that crazy idea in Birdie’s head, but Toni had no idea where this was coming from. She did know she didn’t want to upset Birdie in her weakened state, so she’d try a little mollification first. Then she’d move on to a blatant “no way in hell” if necessary.

“I don’t think it’s a good time for me to have a baby, Birdie,” Toni said.

“When is a good time? Tomorrow?”

Toni chuckled. “No, not tomorrow either.”

“But you love Logan, right?”

“With all my heart.”

“And you said when a man and woman love each other, then they can have a baby.”

Logan began to inch away.

Toni cringed. “I did say that. But it takes nine months to have a baby.”

Birdie’s eyes bulged. “That’s a long time, Toni!”

“So you’ll have to wait. A long, long time.” Way longer than nine months, but Toni would like to make Birdie an aunt someday. And she was almost giddy thinking about how adorable Logan’s babies would be.

“You can make me a calendar and I can mark the days with an X.”

“If I’m blessed with a baby in the future, I’ll make you a calendar,” Toni said, “but sometimes babies arrive early and sometimes they show up late.”

“That’s weird,” Birdie said.

“Are you actually considering this?” Logan sputtered.

“Not anytime soon.” She closed the distance between them, took his hand, and leaned her head against his shoulder. She gazed up at him adoringly, as if he could make all her dreams come true if he granted her wish for a child of her own. In actuality, she was just fucking with him to see how he’d react. “But I do eventually want children. Don’t you?”

Three additional sets of feminine eyes turned on him, imploring him for an answer. “Maybe,” he said. “I don’t know. I sure wouldn’t make a very good dad.”

Toni squeezed his hand. “I’ve seen how you are with Birdie. You’d be a great father. But don’t worry, I’m not in any hurry, and if you don’t want kids, I can find someone else to have babies with.”

Logan glanced around at Toni’s menagerie of relatives and then took her by the elbow and promptly escorted her out of the room and into the hallway.

“What the hell was that supposed to mean?” he said in an angry whisper. “Are you considering a future that doesn’t include me?”

Toni opened her mouth to tell him she’d been joking, but he didn’t let her get a word in.

“How can you even consider having babies with some other man? Don’t you know that means you’ll have to have sex with someone else?”

Toni chuckled. “Relax, Logan. I don’t want another man’s babies. I don’t want any babies right now. But someday I’d like to have half a dozen curly-haired, blue-eyed baby Logans and Loganettes.” She anticipated him turning away and running for freedom since they hadn’t talked about their distant future. But he didn’t run. He didn’t even take a step back. He cupped her face between shaking hands and held her gaze for an intense moment.

“You want to have my babies?” he croaked.

“Someday,” she said, wrapping her arms around his back and tugging him closer. “But not any time soon. I’ve heard the little buggers really interrupt a couple’s sex life, and I still have a lot to learn.”

He laughed. “Are you sure you don’t want to try out some other guy before you pledge forever to me?”

“Do you want me to try out another guy?”

“Fuck no,” he said. “I’d have to kill him and then where would we be? Occasional conjugal visits while I serve time.”

She grinned and shook her head at him, knowing he was pulling her leg. “I don’t want another guy. I’ve already had the best, why settle for the rest?”

Logan chuckled and squeezed her close. “That rhymes.”

“Maybe I should try getting into the music business,” she said. “I could write lyrics for your new album.”

“Uh, let’s not and say you did.”

She huffed at him. “Are you trying to stifle my creative genius?”

“I’d rather encourage it. You’re coming back on tour with me, right? You have to finish your book. Your mom and grandma will take good care of Birdie. If you need to get home, we’ll get you home. I don’t know why you’re hesitating—don’t you want to stay with me?”

“I do,” she admitted, but there was one more thing holding her back. “But I’m not sure the band wants me there.” There, she’d said it. How could she spend weeks in close quarters with four people who hated her guts?

“I don’t give a fuck what they want. I want you there. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you with me. We belong together. Always.”

She stood on tiptoe and captured his lips for a kiss. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”