Insider (Exodus End #1)(38)
Author: Olivia Cunning

She slapped his shoulder. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

He wished he could say he didn’t mean it. He didn’t particularly want to be so far gone. Ah, what the fuck—he liked her. A lot. She was just going to have to learn to live with it. If he could admit it, surely she could accept it.

“I mean it, Toni.” He untangled his head from her grasp so he could look up at her. “I really do like you. And it isn’t just lust.” For once in his dick-led life. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Even when you’re not in my bed, you’re in my head. It’s driving me crazy. I’m not sure how to handle it.”

She smiled, and he saw her feelings displayed clearly in her eyes. “You’re going to break my heart someday.” She released a sigh and stared over his head as she spoke. “I really like you too, Logan. But maybe it’s best if we pretend the only thing between us is lust. If I fall for you . . .” She shook her head and closed her eyes.

“You don’t trust me with your heart.”

“Should I?”

He wanted to say she should, wanted to say that he’d never hurt her, but he, more than anyone, was aware of his track record with women.

“That’s something you’ll have to decide on your own.”

She gnawed on her lip and nodded. “I do trust you with my body,” she said. “That’s a start, isn’t it?”

“A perfect start.” For something he hoped never had to end.

Not sure why his train of thought was making his heart thud harder than it did when he dove out of perfectly good airplanes, Logan lifted Toni from her perch on the loading dock and set her on her feet. Perhaps being alone with this woman wasn’t the best idea. She made him say things and feel things that he just wasn’t ready to face.

“I better get back to the meet and greet,” he said. “Do you want to go back with me?”

She sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly.

“I think I’ll go hide out in Reagan’s dressing room for a little while, if that’s okay,” she said after a moment.

Logan shrugged. “It’s not my dressing room; you’ll have to ask her.” He tilted his head toward her, deciding she looked a little pale. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I think I’m bewildered,” she said, and huffed out a laugh. “But I’m pretty sure it’s from being alone with you.”

“I’d apologize, but I’m not the least bit sorry that I have that effect on you.”

She laughed and grabbed his T-shirt in both hands, tugging him close. “If you really want to make my head spin, you should try kissing me.”

“That sounds dangerous,” he said, folding her in his embrace and pulling her body against his. He wasn’t satisfied until she moved her arms around to his back and there wasn’t an inch of space between them. Even then, he wished they were skin on skin.

“I’m sure this much dizziness is dangerous,” she said as she relaxed against him, her full breasts pressing into his chest. “But I’m willing to hazard the vertigo.”

“I do love a risk taker,” he murmured.

He claimed her mouth in a heated kiss, doing his best to make the earth move topsy-turvy beneath her feet. His world hadn’t been steady since the moment she’d try to rip his arm off by enthusiastically shaking his hand. But he’d always liked a little mayhem in his world.

Twelve

Logan liked her.

Lost in thought, Toni stumbled against a wall on her way to seek sanctuary in Reagan’s dressing room. Toni wanted to have faith in Logan’s words, but something inside her just couldn’t believe that gorgeous, rich, famous, and charming specimen of a man would want anything permanent to do with an unworldly, unexciting, and chubby specimen of a woman. She understood that he must have a thing for virgins and that for some reason he’d latched on to the idea that being the first to conquer her pussy meant he could stick his flag in it and claim it as his, but his feeling of conquest would wear off eventually. She was sure of it. She was terrified of letting herself feel too much for him. She had to work with these guys for four weeks, and if Logan ripped her heart out, would she be able to continue to immerse herself in his world?

This was why she never should have gotten involved with him in the first place. She could try to excuse her behavior by claiming it was her inexperience that had made her fall into the sack with him so quickly, but that was a lie. She knew exactly what she’d been doing. It had been a not-so-momentary lapse of judgment that on a personal level she embraced. On a professional level, however, she wanted to kick herself in the ass.

She should be following the band around right now, interviewing fans, getting inside the backstage scene, but she was utterly overwhelmed by the chaos. She was a solitary creature by nature; she hadn’t a clue how the band members and crew dealt with this insanity day after day. Night after night. Dare had somehow mastered being alone in a crowd, but the rest of the band were constantly on. It was exhausting to watch, much less being caught up in the whirlwind. Maybe hanging around with Reagan in her dressing room for a few minutes before the show started would allow Toni to collect her thoughts.

Toni wondered why Reagan had been conspicuously absent for the entire meet and greet. The guitarist didn’t seem the reclusive type. Maybe because she was a temporary band member, she didn’t feel part of the group. She hadn’t ridden on the bus with the guys the night before and had only been with them when required by obligation. Was it because she wasn’t welcome? Or because she didn’t want to be with them? Toni’s journalistic senses were tingling. Something seemed off about the newest member of the band.

Steve stepped out into the corridor and nearly careened into her. He grabbed her shoulders to steady her, and she smiled up at him in gratitude.

“Where’s your Siamese twin?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Logan. The man who’s been bodily attached to you since you boarded his bus.”

The two of them weren’t that bad, were they? “I think he’s at the meet and greet.” Toni glanced behind her. She couldn’t see the area where everyone had congregated, but the din of conversation and laughter traveled the length of the corridor.

“Without you?”

She turned back toward him and lifted her eyebrows. “Is that a problem?”

Steve shook his head. “Nope. Just surprised he trusts Dare not to scoop you up when he’s not paying attention. Catch you later.”