Insider (Exodus End #1)(42)
Author: Olivia Cunning

Toni shook her head at him. “Is that all you think about?”

“Absolutely.”

Twenty minutes later, Toni closed herself in the lounge area at the back of the tour bus and pulled her vibrating cellphone out of her pocket. It had been ringing nonstop the entire time she’d made her way through the backstage area of the arena to the bus. She knew it was her mother; no one else would call her over and over again. Text her repeatedly? Sure. But not call. And there was no way she was talking to her mother in front of Logan or backstage at a metal concert. Her mother could be overprotective—stifling even—but Toni didn’t want her to go into cardiac arrest with worry. And Toni couldn’t help but wonder if there was an emergency involving her sister.

“Toni, is everything okay?” her mom asked as soon as Toni accepted the call.

Toni felt guilty for being responsible for the anxiety in her mother’s voice.

“Everything is fine here,” Toni said. “Is something wrong with Birdie?”

“She’s a little whiney about you being gone, but she’s okay. I’ve been worried sick over you. You’re usually so good about calling.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner,” Toni said. “I’ve been busy working. Actually, I need to get back.”

“You’re still working? At this hour? Are you running yourself ragged?” Mom asked.

“A little, but it’s going well,” Toni said. “I can’t talk long. I need to go back to the arena. They haven’t performed yet, and I want to make sure to record some footage of the concert.”

“When you didn’t call last night or all day today. I was picturing you dead in a gutter.”

Mom often pictured Toni dead in a gutter. Toni wasn’t sure why a gutter always featured in her untimely end.

“Nope, not dead, Mom. If I ever find myself dead, I promise to call you from the gutter immediately.”

“That’s not funny.”

She imagined Logan would have laughed at her joke, no matter how inappropriate.

“Is Birdie around?” She knew her sister would be upset if she found out Toni had been on the phone and she didn’t get to talk to her.

“I’ll put her on.”

Toni pulled the phone away from her ear in preparation of Birdie’s greeting.

“Toni!” Birdie shouted. “I miss you!”

“I miss you too, Buttercup,” Toni said and then pulled the phone away from her ear again. Birdie had never quite grasped the concept of indoor voice.

“I fed the chickens all by myself!”

Toni smiled, her heart instantly warming at the sound of her little sister’s pride and exuberance. “I told you that you could do it.”

“But I spilled a lot of the food in the shed.”

“That’s okay; you’ll do better next time.”

“Will you read Princess to me now?”

“I won’t be home tonight, Buttercup. Mom will read to you.”

“She doesn’t do it right.”

Toni turned their nightly reading of The Princess Bride into somewhat of a theatrical production, having a lot of fun with it.

“Birdie,” Toni said in a chastising tone, “that wasn’t nice.”

“I’s sorry, Mommy! You are a good reader!” And Toni knew that Birdie was hugging the dickens out of their mother, because she had to be the most affectionate kid on the planet.

“We’ll be fine, Toni,” Mom said. “I can handle her.”

Toni wanted to believe her, but she had a difficult time trusting Mom’s ability to properly care for Birdie for more than a few days. Mom hadn’t signed up to be the single parent of a special needs child, and for a long time she wouldn’t have anything to do with her youngest daughter. Toni had been almost fifteen when her sister was born, and she’d practically raised her. Toni didn’t regret her home-schooled high school years or missing out on the normal things teenage girls did. She didn’t regret getting the bulk of her college degree online and only commuting to campus to take required labs. Being there for Birdie while Mom ran her little publishing empire had been worth Toni’s personal sacrifices. But now that she was out in the big wide world, she had to admit she felt a little lost. She already missed the cozy security of home. She knew how to be Birdie’s caregiver and she was good at it. She wasn’t sure she’d figured out her new role in life or if she ever would.

There was a knock at the door, and she heard the sounds of it sliding open. She whirled around and cringed at seeing Logan’s face, visible between the sides of the partially open door.

“Dinner,” he mouthed when he noticed she was on the phone.

She nodded. “I have to go,” she said to her mom. “I just wanted to let you know I’m okay and not to worry.”

“You know I can’t help but worry. Will you call tomorrow and talk longer? I want to hear all about your first day on the job.”

All about it? There was no way Toni would be telling her even half of what had happened to her in the past twenty-four hours—most of it centering around the gorgeous man now eyeing her suspiciously.

“I’ll try, but can’t promise. I’m going to be really busy.”

“Well, goodnight then, Antonia. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She hung up, surprised when Logan shoved the door wide.

“Who were you talking to?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at her with accusation.

“Uh, not that it’s any of your business but—”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Toni closed one eye and shook her head, wondering where that idea had come from.

“Because I just heard you tell him that you love him.”

“And won’t you feel like an ass when you find out that I was saying that to a her, not a him?”

“You’re a lesbian?” he blurted.

She snorted. “Not that I’m aware of. I was talking to my mother.”

He dropped his arms to his sides. “You’re right,” he said, shaking his head at her.

“About what?”

“I do feel like an ass.”

“Good.” She began searching through her bag for a better camera. The one she’d been using backstage didn’t take high quality pictures like her old Nikon. She’d also brought a newer model—a better, more expensive model. But she preferred the camera she was accustomed to using.