Lost to You (Take This Regret 0.5)(21)
Author: A.L. Jackson

I stumbled back, my body still reeling from its first taste of Elizabeth. And all I could think was I wanted more.

Our chests heaving, we just stared, lost in desire and indecision.

“Elizabeth,” I breathed across the space. Her eyes flashed with the sound of her name.

I couldn’t stop this, whatever insanity she had brought over me. I inched back toward her, raised my hand, and caressed my fingers down her cheek.

Her eyes fell closed and her lips parted.

My hand slid around to palm her neck, while I wove the other arm around her waist. I tipped her head up at the same time as I pulled her flush against me. The fire I’d kept inside for so many months licked at my insides, seeking a way out.

Elizabeth gasped and her eyes flew open. The honeyed amber liquefied, her expression so soft and unsure. Shaky hands came up to rest on my chest. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her. I knew it, could feel it as a tremor rolled down her spine and spread out beneath my palms. I didn’t know how to handle this, had no idea what I felt other than how f**king amazing she felt wrapped up in my arms.

I searched for hesitation, but all I found was her willing me to do it. To cross the line she’d put in place. I dipped down and pressed my mouth to hers. With just the slightest touch, desire ripped through me, spiked in a place I’d never felt before.

The hands on my chest fisted in my shirt and Elizabeth lifted up on her toes.

My head spun as I intensified the kiss. My mouth became desperate as I moved against the sweetness of her lips, coaxing, begging.

A tiny moan vibrated up her throat, and Elizabeth surrendered. Her mouth opened, and our tongues met in an eruption that had been building for too many months. I could almost taste her inexperience. She explored my mouth so tentatively, as if she were seeking something without knowing what she was looking for, telling me something when she didn’t have the words. Indistinct murmurings melted as they met my lips. I swallowed them down, kissed her deeper. Fingers thread through my hair and she gently tugged to bring me closer.

A thrill shot through my body.

“Elizabeth,” I murmured at her mouth, pulling away for the smallest second to anchor my fingers in her hair, to look at this girl I still couldn’t understand—one who scared me yet made me so insanely happy all at the same time. My fingers spread out and I held her head in both hands, her face lifted to me. Nothing had ever felt like this, this need that coiled and pooled and pulsed. I needed her.

I captured her mouth again as I dropped one hand and smoothed it over her shoulder and down her side. Chills shot through Elizabeth, and she shook as I snaked my hand just under the hem of her sweatshirt. My thumb teased across the bare flesh at her hip, testing how far she wanted this go.

Elizabeth only nipped at my lip and tugged it between her teeth.

I almost lost it. The ache I’d been dealing with for months multiplied and transformed.

“Oh shit, Elizabeth.”

Her bare skin scorched me as I glided my palm up her back. I was met with no barriers, her skin smooth as I explored the soft expanse along the length of her back.

“Christian,” she whispered, clutching me just as tightly as I clutched her, her fingers digging, her body imploring. “Christian, I need you.”

This girl, my best friend. My best friend. And I knew I was a fool, so stupid to push her. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, but I couldn’t stand the thought of not having her, either.

I didn’t want it to end, so I pushed it further, and slid my palm around her slim waist. A tiny shudder escaped Elizabeth and she flexed her stomach as she sucked in a shocked breath.

But she never let go.

The soft ridges of her flat belly enticed me further. My hand jerked as I inched it up. The hand in her hair tightened as the force of my kiss bowed her back. Her weight rested on my forearm as I supported her head, my body nearly hovering over hers.

How many times had I imagined this, what it’d be like to touch her?

I skimmed over her small, round breast, my thumb flicking across her nipple.

Elizabeth whimpered and pushed herself further into my hand, emitted this sound that tickled my ears and spurred me forward.

“Shit…Elizabeth,” I mumbled as I edged her back and pushed her up against the small counter and ground myself into her. Maybe I’d have thought to Elizabeth it’d be the most obscene gesture. Instead, it evoked the most seductive sound to roll from her tongue.

I pulled away for a breath and Elizabeth searched for air as she lifted her face toward the ceiling. She held onto my shoulders as her chest heaved and her heart thundered. “Christian…I don’t…please.” It was all throaty and warm, discordant, her thoughts as jumbled as mine.

I buried my face in her neck, kissed her down to her collar bone, then up to the hollow behind her ear. Her skin was so sweet and her pants were so thin, and I was consumed by this feeling, too much confusion and disorder and need. Fuck. I wanted her, and I felt like I was going crazy because there was no possible way I could get enough of Elizabeth.

A haze surrounded us, desire and lust. Would she let me? My mouth was at her ear as I bit at her skin, whispered, “Please, Elizabeth, I want to f**k you so bad…do you have any idea how badly I want you?”

My hands traveled to her hips, my fingers burrowing into her flesh as I shamelessly pressed myself into her again so she’d make no mistake of what she did to me. She had to know she was the only one who’d ever done this to me, this void she’d created that somehow only she could fill.

Beneath me, Elizabeth froze. Every muscle in her body stiffened before her hands slid from my shoulders to my chest, and she shoved me off her. I was caught off guard, and I floundered back.

Her expression doused me in cold, extinguished the fire. Lines of hurt and disgust twisted her face. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks, and she blinked for the longest moment, before stunned eyes turned up to stare at me.

Shit.

Had that really just come out of my mouth?

My heart pounded too fast, and I tried to catch my breath, to calm my screaming body. I tugged a frustrated hand through my hair. A storm of emotions tore through my consciousness.

“Do you know nothing about me, Christian?” I could see her struggling to hold it in, but more tears fell. “Do you really think that’s what I want? To be f**ked?”

Just like I knew I would, I hurt her, without even knowing it.

“Is that what this was?” she wheezed, wrapping her arms around her stomach. She took a pained step back.

“Elizabeth…” I lifted my hand, wishing to reach out and touch her, knowing I couldn’t. “That’s not what I meant.”