Renegade (Page 13)

“You wanted to stay within the palace?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. She pressed her forehead briefly to the glass as she inhaled the fresh air seeping through the edges of the pane. “It’s the past, it can’t be changed. It’s over.”

She didn’t hear him move, but that was not a surprise. It was rare to actually hear his approach. His hands were upon her shoulders, he held her briefly for a moment before turning her slowly away from the window. When she refused to look at him he seized gently hold of her chin and lifted it so that she had to meet his hard gaze. “I should have told you about her, but I didn’t know. I didn’t expect…”

“Expect what?” she inquired when he broke off.

He shook his head, bending to place a soft kiss upon her mouth. “Why did you want to stay?” he inquired, his hands clasping gently hold of her face.

She tried to pull away from him, but he held her tighter. He moved closer to her, his chest brushing against hers. His body was slightly colder than hers; the force of his presence was overwhelming. She could hardly breathe through the combination of excitement and trepidation pounding through her. She couldn’t let herself get carried away here; she couldn’t allow herself to hope that this might end differently than it had before. Things could never change between them; they were from completely different worlds. They were from completely different species even.

“What difference does it make?” she asked quietly.

He moved even closer, his lips were just centimeters from hers. He was the most irresistible man she had ever met, even as she tried to fight it, she could feel her body reacting to his, swaying even closer. “Because I want to know why you weren’t going to leave, I need to know why you were going to stay Arianna.”

“It makes no difference, prince.”

“Braith.”

“What?”

“I told you once before to call me Braith, not prince.”

Arianna sighed softly as she lowered her eyes. Yes, he had told her that before, but ever since she had fled the palace she had started to refer to him as the prince again. It helped her to distance herself from him, something that she desperately needed to do in order to survive the hurt that clung to her. He may want her to stop calling him prince now, but she wasn’t sure she could. Doing so would mean allowing him back into her heart and she couldn’t do that.

She couldn’t be hurt like that again; she didn’t think she could survive it a second time.

“Arianna, tell me why you wanted to stay.”

“No!” her voice was sharper than she had intended. She was ashamed to admit that even she could hear the panic and fear in it. “No! You don’t always get what you want. Why can’t you just let this be? Just leave me be! Why did you come here!? Why did you hunt me down after all this time? How did you even find me? I was just beginning to move on and you had to show up and destroy it all again! Destroy me again.”

She tried to put on a brave front, tried to straighten her shoulders, and raise her chin, but she could feel her lip trembling. It didn’t help that sadness filled his features; that a look of loss shimmered in his startling eyes. She wanted to scream in frustration. It was all so unfair. She wanted to move on; she wanted to start a new life. She wanted to attempt to regain some semblance of the life she’d had before he had entered it. But he had shown up again and sharply reminded her of the fact that the only life she truly wanted was a life with him.

It was also the only life she could never have.

“Arianna…”

She tore her gaze away from his, trying hard not to cry again. “Please Braith.” She was hoping that the use of his name would earn her some reprieve. It did not.

He kissed her forehead, her nose gently. Aria shuddered, trying hard not to melt against him, trying hard not to give into everyone of her desires and just throw aside all of her hurt, and anger. She couldn’t though; she could not survive this a second time. But as his lips brushed gently over hers, she felt herself leaning into him. Felt herself seeking the gentle caress of his mouth and hands. She hated herself for her weakness, but there was something about him, something that she could not resist no matter how hard she tried.

His fingers wound into her hair, he pulled her closer to him as his tongue stroked lightly over her lips. Aria was shaking, trembling, unable to put up any fight against his soft kisses and caressing hands. It was when his hands rubbed gently over the healing wound on her neck, that she finally came back to herself a little. She tried to pull away from him, but his hand enclosed on her shoulder. Ever so gently, he pulled her tattered shirt down a little, revealing the marks upon her. A shiver ran through her as he traced his fingers lightly over it.

She was suddenly flooded with memories of that night, of him upon her, feeding from her, nourishing his body with hers. She had been so enthralled, so unbelievably lost to him, and the joy that had suffused her as he had drained her body of its blood. As he had used her life force to nurture his own. She had never wanted the moment to end, but that was before she knew everything, before she had seen the raid on the caves, before she learned he was promised to another. Another that he probably loved.

Aria pulled her collar away from him, covering the wound back up. There would be no repeat of that night now. She could not allow herself to be lost like that again, no matter how badly she wanted to be. “I loved you,” she whispered.

“Excuse me?” he asked in surprise.

“I wanted to stay in the palace because I loved you. I told Jack to leave me there, because I didn’t care what happened, what would become of me, I wanted to stay with you. I loved you so much that I had no thought of my own safety, my own life, when it came to you.”

“Arianna…”

“And then Jack told me the truth.” She continued as if he had never spoken, because if she didn’t get this all out now, she never would. If she didn’t get it all out, then she would lose herself to him again. It would destroy her this time. “And then my love didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered. I didn’t even matter. I was so hurt, so angry, so lost and confused and scared. I know you never promised me anything, I know there never could have been anything between us, not in the end, but I never would have allowed it to get that far if I had known the truth. If I had known that you loved someone else, that you were going to marry her, I never would have allowed that night to happpen. Never. You almost destroyed me with your lies and deceit. I will never allow that to happen again!”