Renegade (Page 14)

He stood immobile for a moment, and then he seized hold of her chin, squeezing it gently. She glared at him, feeling sullen and disagreeable as she folded her arms over her chest. It was childish, she knew that, but she couldn’t bring herself to be completely mature at this point. The past two months had been nothing but confusing, frightening, and so unbelievably hard that she felt she deserved some childish behavior right now.

And then he had reappeared and thrown a giant wrench into all of the hard work it had taken to try and piece herself together again.

“I didn’t know Arianna.”

“I don’t care!” she retorted.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her bottom lip. “I knew you loved me that night, you told me so, but what I didn’t fully understand was how I had come to feel about you.”

She stared at him for a long moment, trying to fight the hope and longing raging through her. No matter what he said, this could never be. He would have to leave, and she would have to go back to the woods and the caves. “Don’t,” she whispered.

“If I had known what was going to happen Arianna, I would have told you about her myself. I would have left you alone; I would have done anything other than what I did that night. I never meant to hurt you, I swear that. What I feel for you, it’s not something I ever expected. I never thought that it could happen to me. If I had been stronger I would have resisted the offer of your gift until you knew the truth, but that night was a complete surprise to me also.”

She stared wordlessly up at him, her mouth parted in shock. “Braith…”

“I don’t love my fiancée Arianna. In fact, I dislike her intensely. It’s an arranged marriage, her family is very powerful. It is not something that either of us want.”

Aria was silent for a long moment as she absorbed his words. “That doesn’t change anything Braith,” she whispered. “You will still go back, and you will marry her, and I will… Well I suppose I will either end up being recaptured, killed, or perhaps even one day I will end up married to Max, or some other rebel though it is unlikely I will live long enough.”

His eyebrows shot up, his eyes narrowed fiercely as he moved closer to her, pushing her against the window. Aria stared at him in surprise, stunned by the anger blistering from him. “To Max?” he snarled.

Aria frowned at him, trying not be intimidated by him, but she was completely baffled by his sudden change. “Yes, I guess, maybe… Oh, I don’t know,” she breathed. “I don’t want to bring children into this awful world but he’s a good man, he’s safe, and he cares for me. Perhaps he even loves me. That should be enough, shouldn’t it?”

He was staring at her as if she had just sprouted another head. “You will not be with Max.”

She blinked at the growled command, then her pride rose swiftly back up. “You’re not my father, you can’t tell me what I can, and cannot do!” she snapped.

He was fairly vibrating with anger. His hands were on either side of her, pressed against the window as he leaned ever closer. “You’re right I’m not your father, but I am a part of you, and as that part I am telling you that you will not be with Max.”

She frowned at him, confused and baffled by his response. “Part of me? I don’t understand.”

“My blood flows in your veins Arianna; it’s how I found you. It is how I will always be able to find you.”

Her mouth dropped, her mind spun. She recalled their last night together, when he had taken her blood. After, she had fallen asleep and drifting in and out of confusing consciousness. She had dreamt that he had held her tight, cradling her gently as he gave her something sweet and delicious to drink. Horror curdled through her at the same time that longing blossomed like a spring flower. It had all been a dream though, hadn’t it?

“I don’t…” she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, trying to clear the fog that was clinging to her. “No, it was a dream. Wasn’t it?”

The anger melted from his body, his hands were upon her shoulders again, stroking gently over the marks on her body. “No, Arianna, it was not a dream. It was my fault, I took too much. I was so hungry…”

“You hadn’t been feeding well, because of me. To protect me!” she recalled on a gasp.

“Yes. I didn’t want them to know I wasn’t feeding from you. But I took too much Arianna, you were just so delicious. I took far more than I had intended, and the only way to keep you alive was to give you some of my blood. I linked us forever by doing so.”

Tears burned her eyes; she looked away from him, staring at the wall over his shoulder. He had also told her he loved her that night, it had all been very foggy, very hazy, but now that she knew that it wasn’t a dream, she knew that he had said that as well. He had told her he loved her, and she had left him the next day.

“That’s why Jack asked me if I had shared your blood,” she whispered.

His hands clasped hold of her face; he turned her back to him. There was a ferocity in his eyes that shocked her. “Jericho asked you that?” he demanded.

Aria swallowed heavily as she nodded. “Yes, when he came for me, when he saw my blood still on me, he asked me if I had shared your blood. But I thought that it had been a dream, I was certain of it once he told me that you were engaged.” Braith was silent for a long moment, his jaw was clenched. “He would have left me there if I had answered differently, wouldn’t he have?”

He shook his head, his dark hair falling around his face. “I don’t know what he would have done Arianna. If anything, these recent events have made me realize that I don’t know my little brother at all.”

Aria clasped hold of his hands, holding them lightly against her face. She closed her eyes, savoring in his gentle touch, savoring in the strength of him. Yes, he did have a fiancée. Yes, she could not expect much, if anything, from him. However, he had loved her, he had told her so. He had not merely been using her, playing with her in order to cause her even more hurt, and anguish, when he turned on her.

“You said you loved me,” she whispered.

He pulled her closer, enfolding her in his arms as he held her tight against him. “Yes.”

She wanted to cry again, for everything that they had almost had, for everything that they had lost. For everything that they would lose, and could never have. But it was impossible to feel sad when she was holding him. It was impossible to hurt when he was kissing her forehead gently, nuzzling against her ears, touching her with such reverence and awe. She let herself drift into him, let herself get lost in him. These past months had been so awful, but his touch eased all of the rawness and pain that had been clinging to her. His touch made everything better; it was the salve to the ragged wound that she had so desperately been seeking. And for just this moment, in this time, she needed to feel better.