The Last Letter (Page 18)

“Mr. Gentry!” Hailey said, perking up as I walked toward her. She batted her lashes and leaned forward. “What can I do for you?”

She was exactly the kind of girl Mac would have gone for. Funny, gregarious, pretty, and interested.

But I was only Ella’s—even if she didn’t know it.

Be nice. Be civil. Use a softer tone. I repeated the reminders in my head, determined to make an effort with the people who mattered to Ella.

“I’m headed to Denver for a few days and just wanted to make sure you knew before I took off.”

“Oh, of course—” The phone rang, and she answered, holding up her finger at me. “Solitude, this is Hailey. Oh, hey, Ella. What?”

Now it was me leaning on the counter.

“Well, do you have to have it? Of course, I realize that. I just meant I could overnight it…”

“What is it?” I asked.

“She left Maisie’s big binder in the office,” she whispered, covering the receiver.

“Her medical one?” That was one thing Ella had at every appointment. It kept every record of her treatments, every written lab result…everything.

Hailey nodded. “I know, Ella, just let me see what I can do…”

I snatched the phone out of Hailey’s hand. “I’ll bring it to you. Have Hailey text me your room number at the hospital.” Before she could argue, I handed the phone back to Hailey. Turning toward the door, I saw Ada coming from the office with the binder in her outstretched hands.

“I heard. She’d just stopped in for a second this morning and left it behind.”

“I’ll take care of it,” I told her.

“I know you will,” she said. “Do you want us to keep Havoc for you?”

My first impulse was a hearty “hell no.” But then Colt’s head popped out of the dining area.

“Havoc!” He raced forward and dropped to his knees to hug her, and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Please? Can we? She can sleep in my bed and everything. I’ll throw her toy and feed her, I promise!”

“She goes where I go,” I said to Ada.

“Not to the hospital. I know she’s a working dog, but they’ll let only service dogs in.” Her eyes echoed her plea. “Mr. Gentry, Ella wouldn’t let me go with her. Or Larry. And I know about…Ryan’s letter and all.” She glanced at Colt and back to me. “And I wouldn’t want Havoc cooped up in a hotel if you were to…say, stay for the duration of the surgery tomorrow.”

She was calling me out, no doubt. But she had no clue how badly I wanted to be there for Ella, or how hard it would be to leave Havoc.

A litany of swear words ran through my head, none of them adequate to express my conflicted feelings. Havoc would be safe here and cared for. It wasn’t like we hadn’t spent a weekend apart before. When we weren’t deployed she was kenneled with all the other working dogs as per regulation, but she’d been with me every deployment and every moment since Mac had died.

But Ada was right, and Ella was going to be alone.

I took a deep breath and dropped down to look Colt in the eyes. “You have school tomorrow?”

He shook his head slowly. “Teacher day or something.”

“Teacher work day,” Ada corrected.

I nodded and rubbed my hand across his spiky hair growth. “Okay. Then you are in charge of her. Okay? Her bag is in the truck, and it has her food and favorite stuff.” The more I explained how to care for her, the brighter his eyes became, until the kid was pretty much a Care Bear for all the joy he was emanating.

She’d be in good hands.

I got her bag and took it back to Colt, then dropped to my knees in front of Havoc, took her face in my hands, and looked into her eyes. “Stay with Colt. Be nice.” I added that little extra order so she knew I meant only stay and not protect. Teeth came out otherwise. But this was her choice, and if she showed any hesitation, she couldn’t stay—she’d have to leave with me. It was the very reason we were retiring together.

Her head swiveled to look at Colt, indicating she understood not only the command but who he was.

“I’ll be back in a few days. Stay. With. Colt. Be. Nice.”

I let her head go, and she immediately trotted over to the boy.

“Good girl.” Equal parts of relief and worry hit me right in the gut.

“It wouldn’t be a good idea to separate them,” I warned Ada.

“Will she bite?” she whispered.

“No. Not unless someone messes with him. If that happens, God help the person, because she’ll only release a bite at my command. You still sure you want to keep her?”

“Absolutely.” She wiped her hands across her crisp, spotless apron.

“Let’s go, Havoc!” Colt said, racing out the side door of the house, her Kong in his little hands. She trotted with him, tail wagging.

Ada tilted her head. “It’s funny…”

“What?”

“She looks like such a docile little thing. You’d never guess she’d be capable of ripping someone apart.”

“She’s like any other woman in that regard, ma’am.”

Five minutes later I was driving toward Ella and Maisie, finally able to do the one thing I’d been sent here to do: help.

Chapter Ten

Beckett

Letter #2

Chaos,

I’m so glad you wrote back! First off, happy birthday, even though I know you’re getting this weeks later. Looking at the dates on your envelopes, it’s taking about four or five days for mail to reach me, which is crazy fast. I remember when it used to take six weeks.

Second, how about this? Let’s always write in pen. Never erase, just say whatever’s honest and comes to mind. It’s not like we have a lot on the line, or need to put up a front.

It’s okay that you’re not good with people. In my experience, there are very few people worth making the effort for. I try to give everything I have to those closest to me, and keep that circle small. I’d rather be great for a few people than be mediocre for a bunch.

So let me ask you a question that won’t get censored out—by the way, it’s creepy to think that people read our letters, but I get it.

What’s the scariest choice you’ve ever made? Why did you make it? Any regrets?

Most people would think that I would say it’s having the twins, or raising them, but I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life as I am about my kids. It’s not even Jeff—my ex-husband. I was too starry-eyed to be scared when he proposed, and I can’t regret everything that happened, because of my kids. Besides, regret doesn’t really get us anywhere, does it? There’s no point rehashing things that have happened when we need to move forward.

My scariest choice was actually made just last year. I mortgaged Solitude, which isn’t just a B&B, but a sprawling two-hundred-acre property. My grandma had kept it free and clear, and I wanted more than anything to keep that legacy, except we were run-down on every level. I couldn’t bring myself to sell off any more land, so I made the terrifying choice to mortgage the property and throw everything into improvements, hoping to launch us as a luxury retreat of sorts. I’ve got my fingers crossed that it will work. Between the capital I took out for improvements to the cabins and properties and the construction loans on the new cabins to start in the summer, I’m this crazy mix of hopeful and scared. Not going to lie, it’s kind of exhilarating. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

Off to take on my next scary choice…volunteering with the judgy ladies on the PTA.

~ Ella

…

Wedging Maisie’s binder under my arm, I checked my phone for the room number just as the elevator dinged on the pediatric oncology floor.

It was almost eleven p.m.; those moments with Colt had cost me some time, but I’d had a pretty smooth drive.

“May I help you?” a nurse wearing a kind smile and Donald Duck scrubs asked at the desk. She looked to be about midforties and really alert for how late it was.

“I’m headed to room seven fourteen for Maisie MacKenzie,” I told her. One thing I’d learned in my decade serving in our unit was that if you acted like you belonged somewhere, most people believed you did.

“It’s past visiting hours. Are you family?”

“Yes, ma’am.” According to Colt, I was, so in a really convoluted way, I wasn’t lying.

Her eyes lit up. “Oh! You must be her daddy. We’ve all been waiting to see what you’d look like!”

Okay, that one I wasn’t going to lie about. It was one thing to throw the broad generalization out there, and another to claim the honor of being Maisie’s dad. As I opened my mouth to speak, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“You made it,” Ella said with a soft smile.

“I made it,” I echoed. “So did the binder.” I handed it over, and she hugged it to her chest in an all-too-familiar gesture that made my chest ache. She should have someone to hold her during times like this, not some inanimate object.

“I’m going to take him back,” Ella told the nurse.

“You go right on ahead.”

I walked down the hallway with Ella, taking in the bear murals. “They weren’t kidding about the bear floor label, huh?”

“Nope. It helps the kids remember,” she answered. “Want to meet Maisie? She’s still awake, despite my every effort otherwise.”

“Yes,” I answered without pause. “I would very much like that.” Understatement of the century. Next to the pictures of mountains Colt had drawn for me, Maisie’s pictures of animals were my favorites. But those belonged to Chaos. Just like with Ella and Colt, I was starting from scratch with Maisie.

Our steps were the only sounds as we walked down the long hallway.

“This wing is for inpatient,” Ella told me, filling the silence. “The other two are for outpatient and transplants.”

“Gotcha,” I said, my eyes scanning the details out of habit. “Look, you need to know that nurse thinks—”

“That you’re Maisie’s dad,” Ella finished. “I heard. Don’t worry, she’s not going to force adoption papers on you or anything. I left all the dad info blank because like hell were they going to call Jeff in case of emergency. He’s never so much as seen her.”