The Last Letter (Page 41)

“I don’t need it for Maisie, now.”

“Not if you want me to adopt her, you don’t. That’s another choice I won’t force on you. I’m not Jeff. And this gives you options. That check means you’re not cornered. You don’t have to choose me.”

We stood there, our eyes locked in a silent conversation as she considered. Mine begged her to trust me. To lean on me. To need me even a small percentage of the way I needed her. Hers pondered, weighed, and decided, staying locked with mine as she ripped the check to shreds.

“I choose you. And now I’m free. We’re free.”

I grinned because I knew I wasn’t free anymore—I was hers…theirs.

Chapter Seventeen

Beckett

Letter #3

Chaos,

Parenthood sucks. Sorry, I know we don’t know each other well enough for me to say something like that, but it does. At least today it does.

I just spent the better part of my afternoon in the principal’s office. Not only that, but it was the same principal from when I was a kid. I swear, I sat down in that squeaky pleather chair across from his desk and I was seven all over again.

Except now I’m the adult, and my kids are the ones putting me in the hot seat.

Colt and Maisie are in the same kindergarten class. I know, I got a ton of crap about putting twins in the same class, and how it doesn’t let them cultivate their own identity, but those so-called experts never had to look at my blue-eyed heathens and listen to them refuse to be separated. And by refuse, I mean we tried. For the first week of school, I had to pick them up every day by nine a.m. because they kept leaving to go to the other’s classroom. Finally, we relented. You know the phrase “pick your battles”? It was more like “concede the war, you’re losing.” But fine.

Anyway, there’s a little boy with a huge crush on Maisie. Cute, right? Not so much. Today at recess, he decided the whole class would play “kiss tag,” where I guess instead of tagging someone with your hand, you plant one on them. Nice, right? Maisie didn’t want to play, so the boy started chasing her anyway, eventually tripping her and kissing her despite her objections. Naturally, she shoved him off and decked him. My brother would be proud; she landed that punch just like he taught her.

Colt heard the commotion and went running. When Maisie told him what happened, he kept cool, but the other little boy called her a not-nice name that rhymes with witch (according to Colt), and well…Colt went ballistic.

The other boy has a black eye and a mouthful of playground sand. Did I mention I went to school with his mom? Super awkward small-town life.

Colt has a week of detention, which Maisie is demanding she serve with him. They’re five years old. FIVE YEARS OLD, Chaos. This is kindergarten. How the hell am I going to survive the teen years?

Ugh. That’s all for today. Parenting sucks.

~ Ella

…

My alarm went off, and I was up and running. Literally. I hit the six-mile mark along the Solitude grounds, showered, and went into work, which was now completely volunteer-based since I signed Donahue’s papers. There I ran Havoc through some drills and worked her on the rappelling harness.

It was a pretty typical Friday.

Except today was adoption day, and that changed everything.

Jeff had signed the papers a little over a month ago, and we’d found out a few days ago that today was the day. Every day had been a grueling wait, but my insurance had let me enroll the kids based on the pending adoption paperwork, which meant in two weeks, they would be covered. And in a month, Maisie could get her first MIBG therapy.

I parked the truck in front of the main house, and Havoc and I nodded to the new guests as we walked inside. The summer was bustling with business, and Ella was busy tending to customers and placating the picky ones. I guess the words “luxury accommodations” was the signal for assholes to emerge from the general population.

Oh, look, she was dealing with another one.

Havoc and I waited just inside the double doors as a woman in her midfifties was shaking her head at Ella.

“And that’s just not what we were looking for. I specifically asked for lakeside, and we’re facing a very lovely view, but it’s certainly not water!”

Ella looked over the woman’s shoulder at me midlecture, and I sent her a consoling look. At least I hope it was consoling, because she almost giggled.

She motioned with her head toward the back, and I took the cue. I walked Havoc through the main house, spotting Hailey at the desk and Ada in her glory, putting fresh-baked cookies on the table. We made our way to the back and opened the door to the residence.

“Beckett!” Maisie came running around the corner, and I caught her before she skidded into the wall. “You have to help me! Colt has the best hiding place, and I can’t find him! It’s not fair! He can run faster, and he knows it!”

It was amazing what a month off chemo had done for her energy level.

“How long have you been looking?”

“Forever!” She dragged out the word to make sure I understood exactly how long forever was.

I gave her a look, and she relented.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Man, that is forever,” I agreed. “Want to find him super quick?”

“Yes!” She jumped up and down.

“Ready?” I asked her as I stood.

“Yes!” she repeated, still jumping. Man, if I could bottle that energy, I would be a very rich man.

“Havoc, sit.”

Havoc sat, looking up at me for my next command. She’d heard the tone and knew it was time to work. Plus, I wanted to experiment a little.

“Seek Colt.”

She was off like a shot, sniffing the ground around the living room, the dining room, and then bolting up the stairs.

“You’d better follow her, Maisie.”

Maisie took off at a dead run just as Ella opened the door, quickly stepped inside, and shut it. Then she leaned back against the wood, letting her shoulders sag.

“Was that my daughter impersonating a track star?” she asked, her tone more than tired.

“It was. She’s with Havoc. Apparently she feels that Colt used his health as an unfair advantage in the hide-and-seek game, so I’m leveling the playing field.”

Right on time, Havoc barked, and there was a small thud and a series of loud laughs.

“Not fair! That’s cheating!” Colt yelled.

There was an avalanche of footfalls down the stairs, and the three of them appeared in the hallway.

“Good girl,” I told Havoc, who trotted over to accept the last treat I had in my pocket from our earlier session.

“Can we go outside? Please?” Maisie asked.

Ella bit her lip.

“Please?” Colt begged, making it the longest word on earth.

“Okay. Just stay away from the guests, and be safe,” Ella relented. “And take a hat!”

“Havoc, stay with Colt and Maisie.” The trio ran out the back door before Ella could change her mind.

“It’s like having her back,” Ella said with a sigh. “Off the chemo, she’s so energetic and happy and has a great appetite. With her levels up, she can just be a kid for a second. I’m glad we have this month before the MIBG treatment.”

“Me, too.”

Ella pushed off the door and walked to the window, pulling the curtain aside to watch the kids play in the field just behind the house. “I never worry about Havoc with them. Is that weird? I saw her go all growly on Jeff’s parents, and I still don’t worry.”

I came up next to her, our shoulders touching, watching Havoc leap and chase the toy Colt had thrown. “I’d told her to protect them. Usually I say to stay with them, but we were on the street, and I said protect. She’d still kill anyone who messed with them right now, but not a kid or a guest or someone who didn’t have that tension she picks up on. When I say ‘protect,’ that puts her on alert. Right now, she’s just playing with them.”

“She’s amazing.”

“She’s changed a lot since we left the unit. While she was working, she was kenneled, trained, handled by me, but she didn’t really get dog time. Even on deployments, she slept with me, worked with me, and never left my side, but still, no real dog time. Here, she works, but she’s learned to be safe with the kids and the guests.”

“She’s domesticating,” Ella said with a smile, then nudged my shoulder. “Like someone else I know.”

I laughed. “You ready for this afternoon?”

“Yeah,” she said with an enthusiastic nod. “How about you?”

“Nervous, humbled, happy, in sheer awe of the level of responsibility that comes with tiny humans.”

She looked up at me with tired but happy eyes. “Says every new father ever.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Me, either. Guess we’ll figure it out together. Hard to believe this was our home, I’m so used to living in the cabin now.”

“Think you’ll return once it’s safe for Maisie?”

“I honestly don’t know. I really like living at the cabin and having that privacy, that line between home and work. Living here, I was always at work.” She rubbed her forehead with her fingers and then tightened her ponytail.

“You okay? I mean, don’t smack me for male stupidity, but you look a little tired.”

She turned around, sitting on the window seat. “That’s because I am tired. Maybe it’s because Maisie only has scans this month, so my brain can take a little break from the normal insanity, and everything else just catches up.”

“What can I do?”

“You’re adopting my kids today so my daughter doesn’t die. I think that fulfills every requirement you could ever dream up.”

“I’m not just doing it for Ryan,” I started, but stopped when the door to the residence opened and Hailey raced in, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright.

“Conner Williamson just asked me out!” she exclaimed.

“No way!” Ella jumped up.

“Right? I’ve only been crushing on him since when? The ninth grade?” She spun in the middle of the floor, her arms outstretched. “Conner Williamson asked me out!”