Shades of Twilight (Page 76)

He was going to go out of his mind.

Roanna reined in. She felt exhilarated from the ride, but her muscles were telling her that it had been a while since she’d been in the saddle for such a long time.

"I need to walk for a while," she said, dismounting.

"I’m getting a little stiff. You can go on if you want."

She almost hoped that he would; it was a strain, being alone with him, riding with him in such perfect accord, the way they had before. Relaxed, with her guard down, several times she had almost turned to him with a teasing comment. She had caught herself each time, but the close calls made her nervous. It would be a relief to be alone.

But he dismounted as well and fell into step beside her. Roanna glanced at his expression and just as quickly looked away. His jaw was set, and he was staring straight ahead as if he couldn’t bear to even look at her.

Stricken, she wondered what she had done wrong. They walked in silence, the horses clopping along behind them.

She hadn’t done anything wrong, she realized. They had barely spoken. She had no idea what was bothering him, but she refused to automatically take the blame on herself the way she had always done before.

He put his hand on her arm and drew her to a halt. The horses stopped, shifting behind them. She gave him a questioning look and went still. His eyes were a deep, intense green, glittering with a heat that had nothing to do with anger. He stood very close to her, so close that she could feel the damp heat of his sweaty body, and his broad chest was rising and falling with hard, deep breaths.

The impact of male lust hit her like a blow, and she swayed. Dazedly she tried to think, to pull back, but something inside her responded of its own volition. He wanted her! Happiness bloomed inside her, an internal golden glow that blotted out years of sadness. The reins dropped from her limp fingers, and she surged forward as if pulled by an invisible chain, rising on tiptoe as her arms went around his neck and her soft mouth lifted to his.

He stiffened in her embrace, just for a second, then he too dropped his reins, and his arms went around her, crushing her hard against him. His mouth was just as hard on hers, his tongue plunging deep. He was almost savaging her, the pressure of the kiss bruising her lips, his grip compressing her ribs. She could feel the ridge of his erection grinding against the soft juncture of her thighs.

She couldn’t breathe; a giddy blackness began to creep over her consciousness. Desperately she wrenched her mouth away from him, her head falling back like a flower too heavy for its fragile stem. Her body was on fire and she didn’t care, didn’t care what he did to her, let him take her here, now, on the ground without even a blanket to cover the earth. She had craved his touch, ached for him’ No he said hoarsely, putting his hands on her hips and forcing her away from him.

"God damn it, no!"

The shock was as staggering as that blatant look of lust had been. Roanna stumbled, her knees too wobbly to hold her upright. She grabbed her horse’s mane, clenching her

fingers on the coarse hair and letting the big animal take her weight as she leaned against him. All color washed out of her face as she stared at Webb.

"What?" she gasped.

"I told you," he said in a savage tone.

"What happened in Nogales won’t happen again."

An icy hollow formed in the pit of her stomach. My God, she had misunderstood. She’d misread that expression on his face. He hadn’t wanted her at all, he’d been angry about something. She had wanted so desperately for him to want her that she had ignored everything he’d said and listened only to her own eternal, hopeless longing. She had just made a colossal fool of herself, and she thought she would die of shame.

"I’m sorry," she managed to choke out, backing away from him. The well-trained horse backed up, too, keeping pace with her.

"I didn’t mean-I know I promised-Oh, God!" With that despairing wail, she threw herself onto the horse’s back and kicked him into a gallop.

She heard him yell something, but she didn’t stop. Tears blurred her eyes as she bent over the horse’s neck. She didn’t think she would ever be able to face him again, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to recover from this final rejection.

Webb stared after her, his own face white, his hands knotted into fists at his side. He cursed himself, using every vicious term he’d ever heard. God, he couldn’t have handled that any worse! But he’d been in an agony of desire all day, and when she had thrown herself against him like that, he’d lost it. The red tide of lust had swamped him, and he’d stopped thinking, plain and simply. He’d have pushed her to the ground and taken her right there, pounded her into the dirt, but she had pulled away from him and her head had fallen back as limply as any rag doll’s, and he’d realized how roughly he was treating her.

He’d forced her into bed with him in Nogales, using blackmail as a means of slaking his lust for her. This time he’d been about to use brute force. He’d hauled himself back from the edge, but just barely. God, just barely. He had only kissed her, hadn’t even touched her breasts or taken off any of her clothes, and he’d been on the verge of orgasm. He could feel the dampness of preliminary semen on his underwear. And then he’d pushed her away-Roanna, who had already suffered so much rejection that she had withdrawn from everyone rather than give them the power to hurt her again. Only he retained that power, he was her only vulnerability, and with raw, savage frustration blinding him, he had pushed her away. He’d wanted to explain, to say that he didn’t want to take advantage of her the way he had in Nogales. He wanted to talk to her about that night; he wanted to ask when her period was due, if she was already late. But the clumsy words that had come out of his mouth had been like a blow to her, and she had fled before he could say anything else.