Zane & Lucky’s First Christmas (Forever Love #3.5)(35)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“Zane.”

“Dad.” There was silence on the line as he waited for me to speak. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to scream and shout at him. I wanted to tell him how much I hated him. How I wished he wasn’t in my life. How he was a shitty father.

“It’s a nice day in LA today.” He spoke as if I were one of his employees.

“I want to know about my mother.”

“They say no rain for the next couple of days.”

“I want to know about my real mother.”

“She’s in France.”

“I want to know about my mother, the one that died in childbirth.”

“How did you know?” His tone changed and I could tell he was surprised.

“No thanks to you.”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“Why, aren’t you a caring father.” I said sarcastically

“You hate me.” It was a statement and not a question.

“What do you think?”

“I loved her, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.” I felt anger building up in my voice. “I don’t want to argue. I just want to know about her. I want to know about the woman who gave birth to me and died.”

“She was beautiful. She loved me for me. She loved you as well. She loved you even more than she loved me.”

“Is that why you hate me? Because she died giving birth to me?”

“I don’t hate you, Zane.” He sighed. “I know I haven’t been a good father. I’ve failed you and Noah.”

“We made it okay without you.”

“I love you both.”

“You never came back when you found out Noah was alive. That’s how much you love us. We haven’t seen you in months. You haven’t even met my fiancé. Oh yeah, did you know dad? I have a fiancé and I’m getting married. And we’re pregnant.”

“I knew that Noah never died.”

“What?” My eyes bulged open. “You what?”

“Noah was never the sort of kid that was going to commit suicide. As soon as I heard about that kid Braydon being involved with drugs I went to the FBI.”

“And they told you?”

“Let’s just say, I had something on Special Agent Waldron that convinced him to confirm my suspicions.”

“I can’t believe you knew.”

“I’ve been in the business a long time, Zane. I’ve seen all sorts.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I figured your brother risked his life to disappear so you could help with this case. Who was I to interfere?”

“Thanks for looking out for me dad.”

“It all worked out well, though. Didn’t it? You have Lucky now.”

“How did you know her name?” I gasped. “I never said her name.”

“You’re my son, Zane. I keep up with everything in your life.”

“Yet, you don’t call or come visit.”

“I was hoping for an invitation. I wasn’t sure how welcome I would be if I just showed up.”

“You don’t even call, dad.” I shook my head. “Don’t try and turn this around on me. I’m not going to take the blame for you being a shitty father.”

“There’s nothing I can say to make this better.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to say, Zane.”

“Why don’t you start with I’m sorry. Why don’t you tell me about my mom?”

“I miss her every single day of my life. Getting with Noah’s mom was a mistake. I never loved her, she knew that. And when she left I was happy because then I didn’t feel like I had to fake it. I never let myself grieve and I never let you boys grieve and I think my heart is still broken to this day.”

“Oh, dad.” My heart went out to him. After what I had just gone through with Lucky, I understood where he was coming from. If Lucky wasn’t upstairs sleeping in our bed, I may very well have cut myself off as well. “Do you want to come over for dinner?”

“I can’t.”

“Okay.”

“It’s not because I don’t want to.” His words rushed out. “I’m flying to Singapore tonight. But I’ll be back in two weeks. I’d like to come round and meet everyone then.”

I paused for a moment and then laughed. “This is going to sound crazy, but how would you like to come to my wedding?”

“What?”

“I’m getting married in two weeks. It’s going to be a surprise for Lucky. I’m getting everything ready for her. Maybe that can be our reunion.”

“Are you sure?” His voice sounded hopeful. “I’d love to come, if you want me to.”

“Yeah, I do. Lucky will be happy as well.” I smiled as I imagined the shock she was going to feel when she realized I had set up a wedding and my dad was there. “She’ll love it.”

“Well text me the info and I’ll be there.”

“Okay.”

“Oh and Zane.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for reaching out. I missed out on your life growing up, I don’t want to miss out on anything else.”

“No worries.” I hung up the phone and sat on the couch in shock. What had just happened? Had that conversation really happened? I stood up and walked into the kitchen and then back to the living room. The house felt lonely without Noah and Skylar in it. I couldn’t believe that just a year ago, I had lived here all by myself and thinking that I had everything I ever needed. When I thought back to the days when my most meaningful relationship was with women who meant nothing to me, I felt sorry for myself. How could I have ever thought that was a life I wanted to live?

I decided to go into my study while I waited for Noah and Skylar to come home. They had gone to visit Sidney in the hospital with Robin and I had seen them arriving as Lucky and I had left. We all still had heavy hearts, even though everything was fine with Lucky and the babies. Sidney was also physically okay for now, but he couldn’t walk, without help, and the doctors weren’t sure if he would ever be able to talk again.

It was with a heavy heart that I started making phone calls to different vineyards to see if they had a field I could rent out for the wedding. Part of me wasn’t sure if I should continue making the plans for the wedding, but I knew that this was the sort of occasion that could bring us all together and make our lives happy again. I only hoped that Sidney and Betty would be able to be a part of our special day, or I knew it would feel incomplete.