Zane & Lucky’s First Christmas (Forever Love #3.5)(36)
Author: J.S. Cooper

Chapter 11

Noah

“Thank you, Noah.” Betty hugged me as we got to my car door. “Sidney didn’t want to me to tell the kids and scare them so I’ve been all alone dealing with him. You don’t know what a help you’ve been to me this last week.”

“Betty, I look at you and Sidney as my pseudo parents. I hope you know that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for both of you.”

“You know, you are like a son to us. Sidney loves you like you were from his loins.”

“He’s been a father to me.” I teared up. “I can never repay him for everything he’s given me, all the advice and support.”

“You don’t need to repay him. Just come and visit when you can.”

“I’ll be here every week, Betty. You know that. And I will continue to do everything I can. I just want to see him talk again.”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “He’s old, this isn’t his first stroke. I told him to be careful with what he eats.” She wiped away some tears. “But what’s the point of nagging now?”

“Are you going to be okay? I can stay the night if you need help.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I can handle one night by myself. The CNA starts tomorrow and she’ll be with us 7 days a week.”

“It will be good for you to have some help.”

“I just can’t do it by myself. I can’t carry him and bathe him and feed him.” She squeezed my arm. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t complain.”

“Betty, you’re not complaining.” I shook my head and gave her a big hug. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”

“You’re a good boy, Noah.” She rubbed my cheek.

“I don’t know about that,” I sighed, reluctant to get into the car. “Call me if you need anything, okay. No matter what time.”

“I will, thank you Noah. You drive home safely, you hear.”

“Yes, mam.” I got into the car and drove off with Betty waving behind me. I felt sad as I drove home. My heart was full of sorrow and sadness and all I wanted to do was cry. I thought about Sidney’s face as we had put him into bed. His eyes were full of emotions, yet he couldn’t express them. When he tried to talk, nothing came. Yet, I knew he wanted to say something. There was frustration in his glance and eventually he tuned us out. I tried talking to him, but it was weird talking to someone who couldn’t respond.

I felt so helpless. I kept talking and talking, trying to make him laugh, but he just stared at me with a blank unhappy expression. In all the years that I’d known Sidney, he had never not had a smile on his face. He’d always been the one to bring me out of my funk. He’d always been the one to tell me what to do and I missed his words of wisdom. I’d never regretted going to Palm Bonita until now. Maybe if I hadn’t gone, I would have noticed that he looked sick. Maybe I could have done something to prevent the strokes. I’d missed out on a year of conversations with him and now I may never be able to speak to him again.

I drove aimlessly, not wanting to go home and have Skylar see me so upset. I was frustrated and angry. Yet, there was nothing I could do. This was life. It was never going to be one smooth sweet ride. I was beginning to understand that. It didn’t matter how many hurdles I had already crossed, there were always more waiting for me. I drove into a Target parking lot and stopped the car. It took only a few moments for my tears to come flying out. I hit the steering wheel in frustration, wanting to shout and scream. Why had this happened to Sidney? It wasn’t fair. What had he done? Hadn’t he and Betty already had a tough enough life? I was worried about Betty as well, I knew she was putting on a brave face, but I noticed that her hair was looking whiter than ever. She wasn’t even bothering to dye it anymore. Her clothes didn’t look like they had been ironed, and she looked scared and worried. I didn’t know how she was able to cope without telling her kids, but I knew that Sidney had always said that if he ever got sick, he wouldn’t want his children to know. “Sickness is a part of life,” he used to say. “I don’t want them to spend years of their lives worried about me. I want them to live their lives and do what they want to do free of guilt.” At the time, I had agreed with what he had said, but now I wasn’t so sure that was such a good idea. His kids deserved to know what had happened to him. I would want to know if he was my dad.

I bit my lip as I thought about my mom and her phone call. I hadn’t told Zane and Lucky everything about that call. I’d only told them that she wanted me to meet my brother. I hadn’t told them that she was dying of cancer. I hadn’t wanted to think about it. If I didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t be real. But now that I was faced with Sidney’s immortality, I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother. I’d spent half my life thinking about her and our eventual reunion. I had dreamed of our joyful reunion every night for years. I’d been obsessed with finding her, and I had been devastated when I had met her and everything I had thought was wrong. Aside from the fact that she loves you, a voice whispered inside of my head. She never stopped loving you.

I tried to remember the words that Skylar had spoken at the picnic, something about not being able to fully love until you had forgiveness in your heart. And I knew, that she and the TV preacher were right. I still harbored resentment and pain in my heart and I knew that if she died before we talked it out, I would never forgive myself. I wiped away my tears and pulled out my phone. I knew that Sidney would want me to make this call. I smiled to myself as I thought about what he would do when I told him. I hoped that it would bring a smile to his face.

“Bonjour.”

“Bonjour, comment ca va?”

“Noah?” Her voice was light with disbelief.

“Oui.”

“Noah!” She almost sung my name. “I am so happy to hear from you.”

“Sidney had a stroke.”

“Oh, no. That’s horrible. I’m sorry.”

“He can’t talk.” I paused as I felt tears rising and threatening to fall. “He can’t talk and he can’t move. It’s the second one he has had in the last couple of weeks. He didn’t tell me about the first one.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Noah. I know he’s your friend.”

“He’s more than my friend. He’s the father I never had. He’s my mentor. He believed in me and trusted in me when no one else did.”