Zane & Lucky’s First Christmas (Forever Love #3.5)(5)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“I was just thinking about the day that we first met.” She blinked at me. “Do you miss Monica?”

“No.” I felt heat ride in my face. I could still remember the first time she had seen me, while I had been in bed with her stepmother. I was praying to God that she wasn’t talking about that incident, but rather about the more formal introduction. “Do you?”

“Not really.” She shook her head and bit her lip. “Does that make me a bad girl?”

“Of course not, sweetheart.” I stared at her innocent nine-year-old face and felt tongue-tied. I really didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like I could tell her that there was no way in hell I missed that bitch Monica and that no one would ever call her a bad girl for hating the witch. “Monica loved you in the best way that she could,” I took a hold of her hand. “But she didn’t really know how to love.” Anyone but herself. “She loved you in her own way, but needed to take care of her own issues.”

“I’m glad she left me with you.” Skylar’s eyes were wide and I could tell that she was trying not to cry. “She said that if you didn’t give her money she was going to make things bad for you.”

“Do not worry about what she said, darling. She’s gone from our lives forever.” I pulled her towards me and stroked her hair. “We’re a family now.”

“You, me, Uncle Zane, Aunty Lucky, and the new babies.” She grinned as she pulled away from me. “I can’t wait to have brothers and sisters.”

“They won’t be your siblings.” I laughed at her and pinched her cheek. “They will be your cousins.”

“Oh, okay, yeah. I can’t wait to have cousins.” She laid back in the bed and yawned again. “And then one day, I can have brothers and sisters as well.”

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“And a mommy.” She closed her eyes and her words were slightly slurred. “I’d like to have a real mommy as well.”

“I know, darling.” Robin’s face flashed in my mind, and I felt a wave of sadness fill my soul. Nothing had been the same after the day I had left Robin’s apartment to rush home without telling her what was going on. She had said that she was willing to move past everything and try again, but we’d only seen each other twice in the last month and both times had been awkward. Every night, I thought about her and making love to her. My body ached to touch her and be touched by her, but we hadn’t slept with each other since that incident. I knew that she was hurt by what happened, but I wasn’t sure what else I could do to get her to open up herself to me, and to give me a new chance. A real new chance. I sighed as I thought about the fact that Skylar was as far away from getting a mommy as I was from figuring out Robin. I was about to stand up and get the book when I realized that Skylar was sleeping. I looked down at her sweet face as she slept and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning the light off and exiting the room.

I walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen to see if I could find something to eat, as I had forgotten to make myself something when Skylar had been acting up.

“That was quick,” Zane looked up from the fridge as I entered the kitchen. “Want a beer?”

“Yeah, thanks.” I nodded. “Skylar fell asleep already. Long day, I guess.”

“I bet.” Zane opened the bottles and handed me one. “Lucky was right, though, you’re doing a great job.”

“Thanks.” I took a chug and sighed. “It’s a lot harder than it looks.” I opened a cupboard and looked for some chips. “Want to share a pizza?” I closed the cupboard door and walked over to the fridge.

“Sure.” Zane grinned. “You call and I’ll go ask Lucky what she wants on her slices.”

“I thought she liked ham and onions?”

“She does,” He rolled his eyes. “But she’s on this thing about not assuming she wants what she wants.”

“What?” I laughed, slightly confused.

“We all know she wants ham and onions on her pizza, but we can’t order that until she says that’s what she wants.” He made a face at me. “I think it’s the pregnancy brains, it’s made her all crazy.”

“Oh,” I said, laughing.

“Don’t get married, bro. It will save you from many gray hairs.”

“You’re not married yet,” I laughed. “You can always walk away and give a better guy a shot.”

“Why do I feel you’re not joking?” He half-smiled at me, and stared at me. “Everything okay with you and Robin?”

“There is no me and Robin.” I looked away. “Go and get Lucky’s permission and I’ll call. You want pepperoni, peppers, onions and extra cheese, right?”

“You got it.” He laughed. “I’ll be right back. Why don’t you give Robin a call and see if she wants to come over.”

“She won’t.”

“Give her a call anyway. Just to see.” He gave me a look. “If you like her, you’ll need to pursue her a bit harder.”

“I’m trying, she’s just getting over what happened.”

“Can you blame her? She let you into her life, into her bed and maybe into her heart and you held the biggest secrets you could from her.”

“It wasn’t because I wasn’t falling for her.” I said defensively. “In fact, she’s the only girl I’ve felt that connected to.”

“Does she know that?” He looked at me with a stern expression.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “She doesn’t care.”

“Stop being so defeatist, Noah. I know you think you’re the savior of the world and the keeper of all of mankind’s secrets, but you’re just a human like the rest of us. You do make mistakes, and while I know your heart does what you think is best, sometimes you get it wrong.”

“Okay, tell it like it is.” I made a face at Zane. “I know I f**ked up. I just thought.”

“Stop thinking already. I know what you thought, I’m sure Robin knows what you thought, but sometimes you have to think about what the other people are thinking as well.”

“So I’m a screw-up, huh?”

“Basically.” He laughed punched me in the shoulder. “But I still love you. Just call her and see what happens. I’ll be back after Lucky tells me what I already know.”