A Hope and a Chance(35)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“Chance, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“Hope, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I confessed.

Her eyes filled with worry. “Why? What did I do? Please tell me. Don’t stop being with me tonight. I can’t -.”

I put my finger over her lip. “Shh. I can’t just be with you tonight, Hope. I don’t want to stop being with you at all. You’re worth the risk. I don’t care if we have to sneak around for months. I’ll do whatever it takes. Tell me you feel the same. Tell me I’m not imagining this thing between us is so much more than either of us has ever experienced.”

Hope began to sob. I pulled her into my arms and rolled us over so that she was now on top of me. “Are you okay?”

“You aren’t imagining it. I feel it too,” she announced as the tears fell down her cheeks.

I took her face into my hands and used my thumbs to wipe away the wetness. “We’ll figure this out. I promise.” I looked her directly in the eyes when I said it. I wanted her to know I meant it with all of my heart.

That promise was something that I was going to hold onto. I had no idea how we were going to hide our feelings around her father, and my sister, but I knew I couldn’t push her away again. Hope pressed her lips against mine, and started to run her hands down my stomach. I slid mine down between her legs and knew instantly that I needed to take my time. She was too special not to savor, and she needed to know it.

Her legs pretzeled mine while our bodies thrust in sync.

“Does it feel good?” I asked with my lips against hers.

“Yes. Don’t stop,” she answered.

We climaxed together, holding each other tight until we could both finally relax.

I pressed my lips against her forehead and then buried my face into her neck.

We eventually switched positions so that her weight was on me. As she drifted to sleep, I tickled her back with my fingers.

Hope’s breathing slowed and when I was sure she was asleep, I finally let my eyes close. I wished that we could have stayed awake all night, but we were both exhausted. I found myself wondering if my lovemaking was good enough for her. I’d never been asked to do that, and everything I’d done just now was out of raw emotion.

Before I finally let myself fall to sleep, I kissed her one more time. “I love you,” I whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear me.

It was the first time I’d ever said those words and really meant them. I thought I had felt that way in the past, but after feeling what Hope did to me, I knew it had been something else altogether.

I didn’t know how we were going to make it work. Hell, I didn’t even know if it was possible. I just knew that I couldn’t be away from her. Even if we had to meet away from the house once a week, I’d do it.

It was time to tell her the truth about everything. If she still accepted me and wanted me after she knew my past, then I would confess my true feelings.

I was so nervous, even afraid that she would be sickened by me or leave me like everyone else did. I didn’t want that to happen. God, I didn’t know what I would do if she looked at me the way all of my ex-friends had. She had to be told though. She had to understand why her father didn’t want us together. She needed to hear the truth from me, not my sister, and especially not from her dad.

I felt a tear falling down my cheek as I prayed this wasn’t going to be the last time I got to hold her in my arms. Losing her would be the final nail in my coffin. I just knew it.

I squeezed her tighter, and finally let myself fall asleep, knowing for right now she was right where she wanted to be.

20

Chance woke me up with gentle kisses all over my face. I opened my eyes to his smile, but immediately started to panic about my father coming home and catching us. Then I remembered that we still had another day to be together.

“It’s still early, baby. Go back to sleep.”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. “So, this isn’t just a dream?”

“What do you mean?”

“You still want to be with me even though we have to sneak around?”

He moved a piece of hair away from my face. “Hope, I would do anything to be with you. It would kill me inside if I didn’t at least try to make this work. I can’t live this close to you, seeing you every day and not want more.”

I couldn’t help but let out a faint laugh. I was so overly excited to hear him say those words to me. It was all I’d wanted. We could make this work. It wasn’t like my dad paid that much attention. “We can wait until they go to bed at night and I’ll sneak over to your place, or we could just go out somewhere when we know they’re staying home.”

He chuckled and pulled me close. “We’ll make it work. For now, let’s just lay here together.”

“Sounds great to me.”

It wasn’t long after us deciding to relax that Chance jumped up, seeming over-excited about something. "I have an idea. There’s a dinghy out in the old shed that we could take to the State Park and put it in the lake. It’s got a little motor that goes with it, and I’m sure we could make a day out of it. I don’t know if you’ve ever been fishing, but I hear it’s a good spot."

Honestly, I didn’t care where we spent the day as long as we were together. "That sounds perfect." I didn’t have to tell him that I’d spent last summer out on that lake with my ex-boyfriend. His father had a boat with a cabin that we’d spend the night in. I’d tell my mom that I was staying with Rylee, and I’d sneak out with him. He’s the one who taught me how to fish, among other things that Chance probably didn’t want to hear about.

Besides, we were too limited on our time together to drudge up the past. I wanted to live in the present, spending every available moment in his company.

"I’ll pack up the dinghy while you make us snacks to put in the cooler."

"Cool deal. I’ll meet you in the house." I didn’t waste time on goodbyes, instead I hurried inside to change and make sandwiches. While getting everything out of the refrigerator I thought about whatever Chance wasn’t telling me. He kept making it a point to throw the past into every discussion about us being together, as if it was going to change my mind.

Ideally it would have been nice to say that I didn’t wonder what he was hiding from me. The fact that he continued bringing it up only concerned me more. In the back of my mind I figured it was probably something as tragic as his mother’s death. She obviously died suddenly, and Chance felt somehow responsible. In all honesty I knew it was most likely his guilt over her death that was causing him so much grief. No matter what, it didn’t matter. I’d spent day after day since I’d moved in thinking about ways to be around Chance. Now that I had a real opportunity to make it happen, I wasn’t about to dwell on something that may or may not have happened.