A Hope and a Chance(73)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Mark had done a one-eighty and was now okay with me never going back to South Carolina again. He seemed genuinely okay with me being friends with Hope. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but it would do for now. At least he knew that I’d never hurt her.

For so many nights I had to lie awake missing her. Talking to her just wasn’t the same as being near her. I missed her touch and the way that her skin smelled and tasted. I longed for her beautiful smile and those sweet kisses she gave only me. She brightened my days, and without her it seemed like I was living in a storm.

There were some nights that I broke down. Part of it may have been the alcohol I was consuming, but I truly missed her. It felt like a part of me was missing. I didn’t understand how my feelings for her had intensified, until I saw her at that airport. She was everything to me; my reason for living.

Her little seduction tonight was unnecessary. She already knew I wanted her. She didn’t have to wear certain clothes or act sexy. I didn’t care how she looked, because she would always be perfect in my eyes.

I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t want to. I squeezed my arms tighter around her and kissed the top of her head. This wasn’t a dream. I was really here in the pool house.

I assumed that being back would warrant me to make some major decisions about my future. Since I had talked Hope into registering for college, I knew it was time for me to do the same. It was already too late for this semester, but by next semester, I would be sitting in classrooms again.

It had been such a long time since I wanted a future, but now that I had Hope I could see myself having a real shot at life. I wanted to be someone that she could be proud of, not someone who lives in a pool house, because he has given up the will to do anything with his future. I had to change.

I finally closed my eyes and imagined my future with Hope. I could see us graduating college and buying our first place. I pictured us being engaged and the look on her face when I actually popped the question. I thought about us starting a family and the birth of our first child.

I wanted all of these things now.

But…what if she wasn’t sure about me? What if I was just a now relationship? What if Hope did not want me forever? Those possibilities consumed my thoughts. She was younger, and could change her mind at any time.

I slid myself away from Hope’s sleeping body and sat up in my bed. My fingers brushed away the hair that was blocking her face. It was frustrating just imagining a life without her. There was a possibility that she didn’t know what she wanted her future to be yet. She surely didn’t know when we first met. The only thing Hope had been sure of was how much she hated school.

Realizing that I was frantically pushing myself to a breaking point, I cuddled my body against Hope’s and managed to close my eyes until I finally fell asleep.

42

The next two months flew by. With all of the wedding plans moving in full-force, Buffy didn’t leave me much time to study for my classes or spend time with Chance. He had returned back to his normal routine with ease, and after the first week he was back to repairing things on my dad’s house.

I kept up with my courses the best I could, using my boyfriend as my study partner. I truly believed that he studied for my classes more than I did. During his free time he began looking into courses he could take the following semester. In the two months that he worked in South Carolina, he’d managed to save nearly ten thousand dollars. He worked a lot of overtime and on weekends, and since he had nothing to spend his money on it just kept accumulating. The community college expenses were not anything like Penn State, so Chance had plenty to get a good start on courses. He was already two full years ahead of me with credits, and I knew that if he had gotten a scholarship to Penn State then he would excel right past me in academics.

It didn’t matter though, because all I wanted to do was be with him. There were times after running around with Buffy that I would be in the same room as Chance and still miss him. It was something about him that just drew me in. There had been quite a few guys in my classes to ask me out, but none of them compared to my boyfriend. Sure, some of them were good looking, but none held a candle to Chance.

Day after day we would sneak passionate kisses in the yard behind bushes, or wherever we could. When my father would leave the house for meetings we would spend the afternoon in the pool house. At least three nights a week I would either sneak out to sleep next to Chance, or he would come in to be with me. There were many times that we weren’t even intimate with each other; we just wanted the closeness. No matter what time of day it was, I was thinking of Chance Avery.

When I turned eighteen in a month, everyone would finally know our true feelings for one another. Most of them would assume I was too young to know what I wanted, and probably even feel the same way about Chance’s intentions, but they would be wrong. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe that our future held butterflies and rainbows, but I did know that Chance was in love with me as I was him. We had never really had a sit down discussion about marriage, but both of us mentioned how much we wanted to always be together.

Today was no different from the rest. I had a math class in the morning and afterwards Buffy and I were going for our dress fittings. I was all too thrilled when she picked out a pink colored dress for me to wear during the ceremony. Even my father and Chance had to wear matching bow ties and vests. Chance thought it was hysterical, saying it was exactly how he envisioned Buffy’s big day. One day he teased me about wearing pink so much that I nudged him in the gut. After he finally stood back up from being hunched over he promised to leave me alone about it.

I don’t even know why I hated the color so much, but all I knew is that if I ever had a child, who happened to be a girl, she would not be wearing that color.

When class was over Buffy and I headed out to the next town over to the dress shop. She hadn’t picked anything expensive, and I was starting to understand that she was always modest with her spending. Chance told me that she was an excellent money manager and never overspent for anything. He said that Buffy had actually found our house without my dad’s knowledge. He’d been looking at newer homes in normal communities, but for what they were asking, my father was able to get double the space and have an extra pool house attached.

When I met her I assumed she was this stereotypical blonde, hungry for my father’s money, and someone to take care of her. After knowing her for a while, I had found that it was the exact opposite. Buffy took care of my father. She cooked him gourmet meals and managed his finances, and always made sure his clothes were in pristine condition. She entertained him, and filled him with laughter every time they were close to each other. Most of all, she was kind and loyal to him and to me. I appreciated her so much and I knew for a fact that she was the best friend I had ever had in my life.