A Hope and a Chance(37)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Hope and I laid facing each other as we ate. We talked about life in general, and the past two days we’d spent together. Her smile was so contagious, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so content. With the truth lingering over my head, I knew I had to prepare myself in case this was going to be our last day as a couple. There was a big chance that when Hope heard about my past she would want nothing to do with me. I was determined to make the best of what I had in front of me. Need be, I’d beg her for forgiveness.

I thought about saying those three words to Hope, but if I did that and then told her the truth later, she’d think it was all some ploy to keep her. I couldn’t do that. Hope needed to want to be with me for her own reasons, not mine. I couldn’t let her see me weak, but I knew it was going to be a challenge.

We stayed at the state park until after the sun set, which we watched while cuddled up in the blanket together. The stars came out and we pointed at the ones we recognized. Each minute that passed was only bringing me closer to my confession, making it impossible to think about being happy.

If this was our last night together I wanted to memorize everything about her. I took in the scent of her shampoo in her hair, and the way her smooth skin felt when I caressed it. I kissed her more times than I could count, and made sure to make her smile as much as humanly possible. These were the moments that I wanted to treasure, no matter what the outcome.

If she walked away from me, I’d be able to look at her knowing that if only for a short time, we were happy together.

It would have to be enough.

21

For the second night in a row we made love until we both fell asleep entangled together. Chance was such a beautiful person, inside and out. I was emotionally in awe of him, and the things he did to me. Physically, he was so appreciative. He was always making sure I was happy. I’d never been with someone who wasn’t selfish, so of course it was amazing to experience.

When I realized what day it was I shot up in the bed. Chance seemed to do the same, noticing my wide eyes staring back at him. “Shit. I need to get out of here.”

“Why don’t you grab some clothes and get dressed? When you’re done we can walk over together,” he suggested.

I jumped up and started running around the room looking for my clothes. Chance pulled a clean shirt out of a basket and tossed it my way. It was just a plain white t-shirt so nobody would even know the difference where I’d gotten it. Now if I would have tottered in the house wearing a Penn State shirt, well that would have been harder to explain.

My dad wasn’t due back yet. With the time it took them to drive from the secluded cabin, it would at least be around eleven before they walked in the door.

Chance was waiting by the pool when I got outside. He glanced over and gave me one of his famous smiles before I reached for his hand. We entered into the back of the house, and just as we’d thought, there wasn’t anyone home. While Chance made his way toward the living room, I ran my bag of stuff upstairs and changed my clothes. When I came back downstairs he had a serious look on his face.

I froze in place and started to panic. The color had left his cheeks, and his morning smile had disappeared. “Sit down, Hope. Before we can move any further with whatever this is, you need to know the truth about my past. I can’t keep you in limbo any longer. If you’re willing to sneak around with me, you need to know why your dad is so adamant about me keeping my distance. After I explain everything, I’ll let you decide if we have a future.” He paused for a second before grabbing my hand and pulling me down to sit beside him. “I just need you to promise me that you’ll listen to everything before judging me.”

I shook my head up and down. “Of course. Whatever it is, I’ll listen.” I just knew it was going to be about his mother. He was too good of a man for it to be anything else.

Chance looked down to his hands. He was rubbing them on his knees like he was having trouble with this. I leaned into him. “You can tell me, Chance. Don’t be afraid to talk to me.”

He looked over in my direction and gave me a quick smile before his face went back to being serious. “I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but I actually went to Penn State on a scholarship. I got in with both academics and baseball. I’d played ball my whole life, on as many teams as my mom could get me on. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I’d always attended public school and couldn’t believe when the recruiters started contacting me in my sophomore year of high school. To have that happen is major. You can imagine how it made me work even harder.”

I clutched his hand and played with it as he continued.

“I’d never been away from home before, and the first semester was really an adjustment for me. In the beginning I threw myself into my classes and stayed in my room, but as the weeks went on I started making friends. My first friend I made was a girl named Chrissy. She was quiet like me and our professor thought we would make good study partners.”

He looked up at me, displaying a very confused grimace.

“We started spending a bunch of extra time together, even when we weren’t studying. I promise you that it was completely plutonic. We were just friends that enjoyed hanging out. That’s all it was, especially for me.”

He obtained a bottle of water off the table and took a sip. “When I met my now ex, Veronica, our friendship started to taper off. My ex was jealous of me being friends with another girl, and I was tired of having to make excuses to Chrissy, instead of telling her it wasn’t my idea to stop hanging out.”

“Sophomore year started and my relationship became more serious, but the whole time Chrissy reached out and tried to remain friends. Every time I’d say no, she’d come back with another invite.”

Chance sat back against the couch and stared at the television as he kept explaining.

“My ex was a selfish bitch. Looking back I realize that we were never in a real relationship. She just wanted someone to dress, order around, and be at her beck and call. So winter break was fast approaching and I buckled down to study for my exams, while she went to her family’s place in the Hamptons to drink and party it up with her richy friends.”

He put his hands through his hair, and then rubbed his knees again. “We got into this huge fight because I wouldn’t go with her, and she actually told me that if I didn’t go we were over, but I knew I couldn’t. I had to maintain a certain grade point average to keep my scholarship, which required me to stay back and study. In a group of text messages she brutally dumped me, as if I was just an object she could toss out.”