A Hope and a Chance(65)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I started to walk alone to my car and heard Chance calling. “Hope, wait! I’ll ride with you, so you don’t have to drive alone.” He turned to face my dad. “Is that cool with you guys?”

“Of course it is,” Buffy announced.

Chance got into the passenger side before I’d even opened my door. “Good plan.”

“Thanks!” I said, as I started the car.

We got out of the driveway and followed my dad out of the community. Chance suggested that I not follow too close so he could kiss my hand and play with my hair. Luckily, when we came into town my father ran a yellow light and we stayed when it turned red. At the same exact time, we leaned into one another for a kiss. “You’re so beautiful,” Chance said, as he looked into my eyes.

We were interrupted from our sweet moment when the person behind me started honking, because the light had turned back to green.

That old woman had ruined our make-out session. If I hadn’t missed my girlfriend so much, I wouldn’t have minded. Hope welcoming me home was even better than I’d thought it would be. She seemed different, but yet, still the same. Her hair was longer and something about her face made her seem more mature, but whatever it was, I loved it.

Working that construction job had been pure hell. There’d been so many times where I wanted to buy a cheap car and come home. I played out in my mind how I’d pick up Hope and we would drive as far away as we could. Hope and I would sit awake at night talking about everything.

Mark had only made us stronger and now that I was back, I knew I needed to pull him aside and tell him I didn’t want to return to South Carolina. I would have appreciated the job if I hadn’t met Hope, but I had something to live for now, and being away from her was killing me.

As if she was reading my mind, Hope brought up the topic. “I’m not going to let you get back on that plane, Chance.”

I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Are you going to wrestle me to the ground?” I asked sarcastically. “Because, I think I would really like that.”

“Don’t act like you want to go back. Based on your performance last night, I’d say you were glad to be home.”

I chuckled. “Are you kidding me? Don’t ever ask that. Of course I want to be home.” I looked over at Hope, and ran my hand across her cheek. “I don’t want to ever go back, Hope. I just want to be here with you.”

We came to another red light and Hope looked over at me. “I know, I know! I guess I’m just on edge. I finally have you back and all I keep thinking about is the fact that you have to leave,” she confessed.

“I’ll find a way to stay. I’ve saved up some money, at least enough to get a place and be able to pay for a few months until I can find a job here. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Knowing that Hope was worried, and the fact that we were on our way to have dinner with the person who put us in this situation, was ridiculous. I hated seeing her hurting.

“Maybe we should just tell him we’re together?”

I ran my hands through my hair. “Hope, it‘s not that easy. He could refuse to let me see you. He could get your mother involved. We only have a short time before your birthday. Just let me handle it. I’ll figure something out.”

“What if you don’t?” She asked.

“I will. Just relax. I’ll handle this.”

She looked worried. “Well I can’t handle you being gone again. I know I sound like a selfish little girl, but it’s true. It hurt so much. I needed you. My mom got sick and I felt like I was alone. I needed you to hold me and reassure me that she would be okay, even if at the time it wasn’t true. None of this has been easy for me,” she admitted.

We were getting close to the club, and I knew I needed to calm her down before Mark started poking around with questions.

“Hope, I adore you, and I assure you I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Thanks. I know you will. I’m sorry for being so annoying about it. I just can’t imagine ever losing you.”

I leaned over and kissed her cheek. My lips touched the base of her ear. “You will never lose me, and I don’t find you annoying. I actually feel amazed every time I hear you say how much you want to be with me.”

Hope smiled. “It’s good to have you back, Chance.”

“I know,” I said, as I rubbed the back of her neck.

We finally turned into the club, and prepared for a long night with her father. Who knew what kind of conversations we would have, or what we’d eat. My concerns were more about keeping my distance from Hope, when all I wanted to do was tell the world she was mine.

37

I hated the Country Club. Trevor had brought me every weekend when we’d dated. His father was a fixture, who probably kept the place in business. Before me, Trevor had found this establishment to be a great place for banging chicks. In fact, this was where he’d taken my innocence.

One night a bunch of us kids snuck on the grounds and took some of the golf carts out. Rylee had hooked up with some football player and they went rolling out onto the greens somewhere, leaving me alone with Trevor.

He’d made many advances toward me having sex with him. At first they were sweet and innocent, but the longer I held out, the more physical he became. The truth was that Trevor always scared me and I found myself doing things so that he wouldn’t yell at me, or call me awful names. On nights like that night, he threatened to tell the whole school I had an STD, or that I was a lesbian which was why we weren’t sleeping together. He threatened to say that I’d let his friends have their way with me all at the same time. You name it, he’d said it to scare me. That night he used the excuse that everyone was doing it except for me. He said my pussy was going to dry up if I didn’t start putting out. Finally, after crying for a long period of time, fearing that I’d be the laughing stock of the school, I laid down on a patch of green grass and let him have his way with me.

I wasn’t ready. I didn’t even want it to happen.

I wasn’t in love with him.

Of course, being inexperienced left me without the knowledge of foreplay. I was completely dry when he entered me, which made it hurt even worse. I suppose I could have told someone, but felt too ashamed for doing it. After that night I didn’t care anymore. It was just sex, and it meant nothing to me. It’s another reason why I knew I couldn’t be with someone like him. I was tired of being controlled for acceptance.