Ethan (Alluring Indulgence #5)(109)
Author: Nicole Edwards

“What do you think people will say when they find out about us?” Ethan asked, surprising Beau with both the question and the conviction in his voice.

The topic was one that Beau, quite frankly, never expected to address directly with Ethan. At least not with Ethan being the one to bring it up. A shimmer of hope lit up inside of his chest. Did that mean Ethan was willing to give them a chance? A real shot at a relationship?

“They will think what they want, E. But I don’t care what they think,” Beau answered honestly. “I only care what you think.”

“This is going to be hard on my family,” Ethan mumbled.

“Why? It’s not like they don’t know.” Beau asked, trying to hide his defensive response. He knew Ethan’s family personally. They would rally together and support Ethan no matter what.

“They shouldn’t have to deal with the bullshit,” Ethan said softly, surprising Beau when he didn’t even move.

“Your family is going to support any decision you make,” Beau said matter-of-factly, his hopes soaring despite the bleakness of Ethan’s statement. “Don’t underestimate them, E. You come from a strong, resilient family who cares for each other.” I’m actually quite jealous of you, Beau thought to himself. He didn’t say the words out loud because there was only so much he could deal with in one night.

“What do your parents think?” Ethan asked, pulling away and turning to look at him.

Well, fuck. It didn’t look like Beau was going to get away from the subject much longer.

“They don’t know.”

“You haven’t told them?”

Surprisingly, Ethan didn’t sound judgmental, just curious.

Beau decided to tell him the truth. “I haven’t told my parents a lot of things.” Glancing out at the darkened tree line behind Ethan’s head, Beau continued, “Ever since I failed my father, we haven’t had much of a relationship.”

“Failed him how?”

“Football. When I shattered my arm, I knew it would never be the same. I knew from the day I emerged from surgery that I wasn’t going to be able to throw the same way. I was right.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“But it was,” Beau said defensively. “I’m the one who got in the truck. I’m the one who knew how dangerous it was to be out on the roads after the ice storm. I brought it on myself. And I ruined my football career with one dumbass decision.”

Therefore, Beau had officially ruined his relationship with his father.

As simple and complicated as that.

Chapter Thirty Four

Ethan stared back at Beau, doing his best to rationalize what he was telling him. Did Beau really believe that a freak accident that ended his football dreams had been his fault? Or worse, his father’s apparent reaction was a burden he should carry on his shoulders?

Ethan didn’t think so.

“Huh,” Ethan huffed.

“Huh, what? What does that mean?” Beau asked, taking a step back from Ethan, the expression on his face one of both concern and confusion.

Going all in, Ethan said, “Is that what you think when I tell you my story? That I brought it all on myself? I mean, I’m the one who went to the lake.” Granted, if Ethan thought about it too long, he wouldn’t have the guts to challenge Beau’s way of thinking, but honestly, Beau’s statement, and his own comparison to it, had opened his eyes a little more than they were already.

“It’s not the same thing, and you know it,” Beau said incredulously. “Not by a long shot.”

“Sounds like it is to me,” Ethan countered, his voice growing more determined. “I mean, how is it different? I made the decision to drive to the lake. You made the decision to hang with your friends…”

Ethan noticed the moment Beau understood what he was getting at. If he was supposed to address his internal conflict, it was only fair that Beau address his own. Not that Beau had pushed him, but ever since Ethan’s conversation with Sawyer, he’d been thinking.

Really thinking.

When he first got home, he had come out onto the back porch as he attempted to pinpoint when he first decided to take everything and compartmentalize it, including his own feelings. He had been so closed off for so long, he wasn’t even sure when or how it had happened.

A bitter cold gust of wind whipped around them, but Ethan tried not to flinch. Now that his frustration had subsided, and the shaking had stopped, he was getting cold. And looking at the man standing just a few feet away, he could think of a million ways to warm up and every one of them involved Beau.