Ethan (Alluring Indulgence #5)(59)
Author: Nicole Edwards

Especially when he was worried he’d ask Beau to stay the night if he started talking. He didn’t have overnight visitors at his house. Ever. Not even Blake had spent a single night at his house. It wasn’t the way Ethan worked. Casual. Simple. No strings. That was the only way to proceed as far as Ethan was concerned.

Well, until Beau had waltzed into his life and put his brain on the fritz.

He had a feeling with Beau, asking him to stay would result in just the opposite of what he hoped for. He’d probably be begging the man to stay, and Beau would insist on leaving. That’s the way things worked. If Ethan wanted something, which was very, very rare, it always seemed unattainable.

And Ethan had no intention of getting himself into a position that would require him to beg.

He tried not to stare at Beau as he worked, but that proved to be reasonably difficult. When Beau moved, he was a work of art. All hard muscle and sleek lines. His biceps and triceps flexed and bunched with little effort while his lean, flat stomach muscles rippled smoothly.

“Keep looking at me like that and I’m going to have you for dessert,” Beau grumbled, his sexy, deep baritone causing goose bumps to rise on his skin.

Instead of responding, Ethan grinned. Why was it that their interactions seemed effortless, almost like they were used to being around one another for lengthy periods of time, doing mundane household chores. It was a new one for Ethan. So much so that he worried what he was getting himself into.

He preferred the aloof, don’t-give-a-shit attitude he’d cloaked himself in over the years. But for some reason, with Beau, it wasn’t that easy to keep his guard up. Not that opening himself up was a good thing because Ethan knew better. If he wasn’t careful, he’d fall for this man and then where would he be?

He’d be smart to remember that he couldn’t have a normal relationship with a man. Especially not this man. Considering he knew how much they’d have to hide from the world, Ethan didn’t want to drag Beau along for that hell ride. It was hard enough having casual relationships much less one that might involve something far deeper.

Shaking off his train of thought, Ethan jumped down from the counter and decided to get some fresh air. Didn’t matter that the temperature was probably close to freezing at this point. His body was hot enough as it was, a little cool night air would likely do him a world of good.

Beau glanced behind him, watching Ethan as he disappeared out of the kitchen. He continued to finish up their breakfast dishes, rinsing and putting them in the dishwasher. Once that chore was completed, he added dishwashing soap, which he found in the cabinet under the sink, and then flipped the machine on.

With his goal accomplished, he glanced around the kitchen to make sure he hadn’t missed anything and then went in search of Ethan. He had heard a door open and close near the back of the house, so that’s where he started. He found Ethan standing on the back porch, his arms crossed over his bare chest and his hair blowing in the breeze. Not wanting to interrupt his thoughts, Beau chose to watch him for a minute.

It took only a second for Beau to get lost in a fantasy that the two of them were together like this, living as a couple, sharing their lives with one another. It seemed too perfect, almost unattainable.

And had he given it any thought before today, he would’ve considered it an impossibility. However, he got the sense that Ethan had let down his guard with him. Whether he meant to or not, Beau knew what was happening between them wasn’t the normal, everyday casual sex.

He’d seen the look in Ethan’s eyes when they’d made love earlier. Even the second time, when they were nothing more than two bodies vying to get closer, Beau had felt that connection with him, even if he knew at the time that Ethan was trying to insert that distance he was seemingly fond of. Up until that point, he’d suspected Ethan had dropped his guard, letting Beau see him without all that protective armor.

Now, as he watched him standing out in the chilly evening air, Beau knew something had changed. Ethan was back to being his usual, self-protected self. What he was supposed to do about that, Beau had no idea. He really wanted to give him space, to let him get used to the idea of whatever this was between them, but he knew if he backed off too much, Ethan would go right back to closing himself off entirely.

Beau wasn’t willing to risk that.

A sudden pounding on the front door had Beau jerking, the sound startling him out of his thoughts. He looked over at the door and then back at Ethan who must’ve heard it too because he was moving in his direction at a fast pace.

The back door opened and then closed at the same time the front door opened.

Shit. Had Ethan not locked the door?