Ethan (Alluring Indulgence #5)(116)
Author: Nicole Edwards

“That’s a first step,” Travis said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Don’t think you can protect those you love by pretending to be something you’re not. It always comes back to bite you in the ass.

“I mean, hell, I walked out of Kylie’s life right after we got married because I thought she couldn’t handle the fact that I needed more than only she could offer. I had to admit to myself and to my family that I’m bisexual. No one turned me away, E. The people who love you are much stronger than you give them credit for. Sometimes it just takes time to realize that.”

Ethan swallowed past the lump in his throat. Travis, the one word wonder, just said more in the last five minutes than Ethan had heard from him in… well, probably in years.

“I don’t want him to get hurt,” Ethan stated, keeping his gaze trained on Travis. “Coming out is going to put him right in the line of fire.”

“You think Beau doesn’t know that already? Give him some credit, E. He’s a grown man and can make his own decisions. He doesn’t need you making them for him. So come up with a different excuse because that’s bullshit and you know it.”

The harshness of Travis’ words sparked the dry embers of his anger and Ethan glared at him. “It’s not bullshit. You haven’t been there. You haven’t been beaten because of who you love. You haven’t suffered the loss of someone who took their own life because they couldn’t deal with not being accepted.”

Travis looked stunned, and Ethan felt a measure of satisfaction. That didn’t last long because he suddenly felt sick.

“What are you talking about?” Travis asked, his voice low, his words coming out slowly.

“Me, dammit! And look what it’s done to the family. Dad ends up in jail because of me.”

“Dad wasn’t in jail. He wasn’t arrested.” Travis paused. “You better start talking, Ethan.”

Ethan wasn’t sure why this was coming up again, why he was caught off guard by the pain and anger that had been brewing inside of him for years. He couldn’t keep it in any longer. “Why? So you can go on a rampage too? Are you going to go after Jimmy Reardon for beating me? For damn near killing me because I was in love with his brother? Maybe I deserved it. Maybe I still do. Gavin’s dead, goddammit! He’s fucking dead because of me!”

Ethan shot to his feet, and Travis did the same. Before he could storm out of the room, he was embraced in Travis’ powerful grip, and he lost it. Every emotion he’d been holding back rose to the surface and exploded like a volcanic eruption. Angry tears blurred his eyes as he held on to Travis for dear life.

He had no idea how long Travis stood there, hugging him tightly before he finally calmed down, but when he stepped back, he didn’t see the pity in Travis’ eyes like he expected.

“Is that why Dad went after Jimmy?”

Of course, Travis was going to linger on that piece of information he’d shared.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him. He’s not supposed to know, but he does.” Ethan already knew how that happened, and though he understood Sawyer’s reasoning, he still felt betrayed because he’d been led to believe all these years that no one knew. Ethan continued, “Which means he’s out to get Jimmy the same way Sawyer is. The same way everyone will be. And it won’t change anything. It won’t bring Gavin back.”

“Gavin? He’s Jimmy’s brother?”

“Yeah,” Ethan said, the anger draining out of him and leaving him feeling weak and pathetic. He dropped onto the edge of the coffee table and stared down at his hands and before he knew it, Ethan shared the whole sordid story with Travis. Everything. From loving Gavin to finding him dead and every horrible detail in between.

Travis paced the floor for a long time. While he was making tracks on the hardwood, Ethan made his way over to check on Mason. The little boy was sleeping soundly. Ethan just wanted to hold him. To cradle him against his chest and absorb some of the innocence from him.

Ethan heard the front door open, and he spun around to see Travis walking out. “Where are you going?” he asked, already scared that Travis was going to do something that he’d never be able to take back. Something that would ruin their lives forever.

“Don’t worry about me, E. I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”

Ethan wasn’t so sure about that.

“Do me a favor.”

Ethan nodded, waiting to hear what the favor was.

“Tell Beau. Tell him how you feel. He deserves to hear it. And you deserve to be happy.”