Eyes Wide Open (The Blackstone Affair #3)(25)
Author: Raine Miller

I’d found some soft leggings to exchange for the jeans, and a pair of fuzzy purple socks she liked to wear around at night. Brynne had beautiful feet and loved to have them rubbed. I’d seen her slather her feet with lotion in the evenings and then put on socks like this. She said it was why they were so soft.

I unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off her long, sexy legs in one smooth swoop. Her blue knickers came with. I could see her body as I had seen it many, many times, so perfectly made and utterly captivating, but I didn’t think about sex right now. I stared at her belly, so flat and hollowed, and thought about what might be growing inside there instead.

Are we having a baby?

Brynne might be scared to death about the possibility, but if it was true, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind she would be a wonderful mother. My girl was brilliant at everything she did.

She moved her head restlessly on the pillow, but didn’t wake. The soft words I spoke at her ear were whispered and I hoped she could hear me somehow. Slipping on the leggings, I quickly followed with the socks, grateful just to have my hands on her skin in some kind of useful service.

Having her back safe was the most important thing; even so, a “Waterloo” directed at me for the second time in our relationship hadn’t been nice. But in the end I was glad she’d used it when she needed to. She’d even given me a little “I’m sorry” before typing the word in her text. I sighed. I knew Brynne was doing the best she could, and at least she was honest about telling me when she needed some space and a little time. I felt like I was being the only way I knew how to be. I didn’t know what I could do any differently.

Putting her into a loose T-shirt was a little more challenging. I settled for her Hendrix shirt because it was so soft and I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. Grateful the closure of her bra was situated in the front, I popped it open to reveal her beautiful tits and thought they looked no different to me than before. Just perfection, is all. But looks can be deceiving, and I’d seen how she reacted when I touched them earlier. How in the motherfuck did I get her pregnant when she is so careful about her pills?

Despite everything, my dickhead c**k reacted at the sight of her naked flesh. I wanted to twist the damn thing off for getting us into this mess, but knew that was pointless. The only way to keep that f**ker away from her would be from inside my grave.

Which might be soon, from the speed at which we were traveling. By God, I could hardly keep up, and felt like I’d aged a year in the past twenty-four hours.

In a rush to finish dressing her, I lifted her off the bed gently to push the T-shirt over her head and down her back. I smoothed it over until her beautiful bare skin was covered up again.

I couldn’t resist kissing her on the forehead before tugging her arms through the sleeves. She never woke throughout the whole process, which did not soothe me one bit. I didn’t want her feeling sick, but needed to have her back. So very badly. I tried to keep my emotions in check but it wasn’t easy, especially when my Sleeping Beauty wasn’t going to awaken from her slumber just because I’d kissed her. So where did that leave me in this clusterfuck of a weekend? Fairy tales really are full of shit when you get right down to it.

As I pulled the blankets in to tuck around her, something fell off the foot of the bed with a muffled thud. Her phone? Most likely Brynne’s mobile, in the pocket of her jeans. I reached down to retrieve it off the floor and saw something else had slipped out of her pocket. It was just lying there in the bunched-up blue fabric. A white plastic stick with a purple cap on the end that foretold a portion of our future.

I knew what that white plastic stick was, but I still didn’t know its secret. The test indicator window was facing the floor.

9

 I opened my eyes to find Ethan dozing in the comfortable chair next to the bed. He had his arms folded in tight and his long legs stretched out on the matching ottoman. He was so beautiful to me it almost hurt to look at him for very long. I was still amazed that he’d come to find me. How could he want this? How was it possible? Why wasn’t he running for the hills?

My left arm felt funny and I figured out why when I saw the tube taped to it, which led straight up to the IV bag hanging on one of those poles on wheels.

I sat up in the bed, looking for the clock to check the time. How long had I been asleep? The clock read just after ten-thirty. The afternoon’s events came crashing back in a blasting wave and I braced myself for more pain and suffering, but it never came. I guess all the running and crying and puking had sucked all of the reacting out of me. Instead, I was warm in a soft bed with Ethan watching over me with an IV in my arm. Okay, that was a little scary. I must have been in terrible shape when Ethan brought me here if I needed intravenous liquids.

I settled back down into the covers and indulged in watching him sleeping in the chair. It couldn’t be very comfortable for him. Poor guy. He had to be exhausted from everything that had happened, and everything we had done in the last day and a half.

I wasn’t ready to face it all yet, but I did feel much better than I had in hours, and . . . safe. Very safe in Ethan’s care, the way he’d made me feel since the night I’d met him and he took me home in his car. I let myself drift back to sleep again, content with the knowledge that, at least for now, I wasn’t alone.

When I woke the next time, Ethan’s chair was empty. The bedside clock read a little after one-fifteen in the morning, so I surmised he must have gone to bed. Another bed. Somewhere else. I took a deep breath and tried to suck it up. Turning into a puddle of jelly wouldn’t help me a bit. But it sure felt good to fall apart sometimes, especially when you had someone to catch you. Like Ethan . . .

I realized I needed the bathroom, so I flicked the covers back and gingerly crawled out of bed. Feet were a little shaky and muscles very sore, especially my legs and abdominals, but I had to smile at the socks on my feet. Ethan must have put them on me. He really has to love me. I truly believed that he did, but I guess I was afraid that a pregnancy would kill that love, in all its newness and fragility. We were moving way too fast for this to possibly work. Right?

The IV pole had to be rolled along with me, or I would risk ripping out the needle imbedded in my wrist. I shuddered at the look of the ugly thing, glad I didn’t remember getting stuck with it in the first place. The pole was a little awkward, but I managed to get in and take care of business.

The first thing I did afterward was brush my teeth. I actually moaned at the divine taste of toothpaste and the feel of a clean minty mouth after far too many revolting spells of barfing. It’s the little things . . .